LifeSiteNews.com reported just a couple of days ago on a Dutch Study published in the 9/20/05 issue (apparently it takes these mouth-breathers four months to read an article) of the Journal of Clinical Oncology. They report “at least 50% of patients killed under the Dutch euthanasia program were suffering from depression. In addition, 44% of those suffering from cancer showed clinical signs of depression when they asked for euthanasia.”

News flash! Terminally-ill patients are frequently depressed! Who’d've thunk it?

The concern raised by the fundies is actually a good one: Is the depression coloring the patients’ decisions? Are they requesting euthanasia because they’re in pain from their physical illness? Or do they want to do the Kevorkian Kick-Off because they’re depressed?

Let’s take the fundies’ question to the next logical step: Does it matter?

No, of course not. These are people who are just months away from a new home in a shiny jar on their children’s mantle. The last few months of their lives are non-stop pain, nausea, and suffering (an experience not unlike watching The 700 Club). I’m surprised the percentage of depressed “euthanauts” isn’t higher than 50%.

But let’s look again at the fundies’ objection. They also seem to be saying that somehow it’s immoral to euthanize a person who is mentally disabled. Gee, that’s funny. Whenever there’s a mentally ill axe-murderer on Death Row and somebody suggests commuting the sentence because of the illness, the fundies scream louder than the killer’s victims did.

So here I sit, trying to defend a TV show that I don’t even watch. As I reported previously, I watched the premiere episode of The Book of Daniel, and I decided that it wasn’t good enough to bother watching a second time. It’s not a bad show, mind you. It’s just that I’d rather spend my time renting porn than watching mediocre network TV.

So what dropped into my inbox recently? Another apoplectic fundie rant about this show. This one was from a Mr. Bill Johnson of the American Decency Association, one of too-many self-appointed guardians of our moral fabric (If only my moral fabric were Kevlar. Then maybe these people wouldn’t annoy me.). Maybe it’s good that they’re attacking this show. It keeps their attention diverted from the good stuff.

The pinhead who wrote this particular tirade wants us all to boycott Burlington Coat Factory, because they advertised on the show. He wrote “…this program is noted for perversity and blasphemy…” Really? By whom? The only people I’ve heard make this claim are the fundies themselves, and they’re hardly qualified to make such a determination. After all, it is fundies who think that SpongeBob and Tinky Winky are gay.

Here’s part of the email Bill’s “Johnson” wants you to write:

I was sorry to hear that your company advertised on “The Book of Daniel”, an NBC TV series showcasing the work of a homosexual writer and his twisted story line of perverse behavior, dysfunctional families, and blasphemy from a heretical Jesus figure.

I can’t figure out what’s blasphemous or heretical about the show’s Jesus. As for the “perverse behavior” and “dysfunctional families”, I think the fundies don’t like mirrors.

The only thing that’s left for them to object to is “the work of a homosexual writer”. So now what? Gay’s aren’t allowed to hold jobs? All of their work is tainted? Let’s fire all the gays, so they can live on welfare. Oh, wait! Then the government would be subsidizing homosexuals!

No, that’s not a misprint. I’m still trying to figure out why the fundies have their nuts in a knot over this TV show. Denial is one possible explanation.

The Book of Daniel is a new show on NBC. Several weeks before the first episode aired, the fundies got all hot and bothered about it. I guess protesting “offensive” TV shows is the most aroused fundies are allowed to get outside of the act of procreation (and they’re not allowed to enjoy the latter).

Of course, none of them had actually seen the show yet, when they decided they didn’t like it. That’s their modus operandi. Why bother to get to know and understand something (or someone) first? That runs the risk of discovering that there is nothing wrong with it, or (worse yet) actually liking it. Then where would they be? There would be a little less room in their heart for hate. Most of these people work overtime trying to figure out how to hate more, not less.

I watched the two-hour season premiere. It’s an OK show. It’s not insipid like Medium, but it’s no Lost, either. I don’t plan on watching it again.

So what’s in this show that’s so offensive to the moral mini-minds? Well, as is typical of series television, they loaded up the characters with a litany of issues:

• The lead character, Daniel Webster, is a minister at a very liberal Protestant church.
• He is addicted to Vicodin.
• One son is gay.
• His adopted Chinese son is boning a 16-year-old neighbor.
• His daughter deals marijuana and was arrested for possession.
• His maid smokes dope.
• His sister-in-law is a lesbian.
• His brother-in-law embezzled $3.2 million of the church’s money and ran off with his secretary.
• To get the money back, he called upon a Catholic priest with mob connections.
• Oh, yeah. And he talks to Jesus. And Jesus talks back. The J-Man frequently pops in for a little chat.

All of this stuff is relatively mild. There’s much more offensive stuff on other shows. But somehow, this is the show that pisses them off.

I suspect one of their problems is that the lead character is a minister. So the fundies are trying to tell us that religious people don’t have everyday problems? No religious person has ever had a drug problem? No religious people are gay? No religious person has ever stolen any amount of money at any time?

HA!!

Or maybe they’re galled that Jesus materializes out of the ether like some sort of Casper the Holy Ghost? Do they forget that our very own Shrub-in-Chief thinks that he regularly converses with God?

Maybe fundies are like fast food restaurants (i.e., they’re everywhere, and what they’re selling is bad for you!). No, seriously, have you noticed that the big fast food chains always have a promotion going on? Usually it’s a movie tie-in or something. Look at the timing of this protest. The fundie “Christmas is under attack!” promotion had just ended, so they needed to hang up new victim decorations in order to get you to buy their hot, steaming plates of crap.

A couple of weeks ago, the History Channel ran a new version of their Bible Code show, followed by the one from a couple of years ago. The new one was even worse than the old one, in terms of impartiality.

The History Channel’s Credibility

Usually, their shows about loony ideas are presented fairly. They interview some of the self-deluded and present their claims. Then they interview some rationalists who present contradicting evidence. The tone of the shows sometimes leans slightly in favor of the loonies, but they’re still better than what passes for informational programming on the broadcast networks.

Sometimes they really shine. One show they did on Bigfoot shredded the Patterson film. That’s the famous one you’ve seen of the guy in the ape suit walking from a clearing into the woods. Of course, the camera was shaking like an epileptic fundie at a revival meeting. A Loch Ness documentary they did once discredited all of the eyewitness testimony that has built up over the years. They also pointed out that there were virtually no sightings of Nessie until the town of Loch Ness decided they needed to attract tourists. Funny how that works.

One of their best, however, was when they took on Noah’s Ark. The first half of the show uncritically presented the fable and all of the absurd claims and so-called proof that it’s now sitting on Mount Ararat. The second half of the show discredited the “evidence”, then attacked the myth itself. They really ripped Noah a new one! They showed how the story was a complete impossibility from so many different scientific angles. If they ever show it again, I’ll try to do a full review. If I find out at least a day in advance, I’ll try to post an alert on this site. You really should catch it.

Jewish Scholars Study the Bible Code

Unfortunately, the two History Channel documentaries on the Bible Code were an embarrassment. They mostly took the claims at face value and gushed about all of the “revelations” that have been discovered. They spent very little time explaining that this is a silly exercise. If you make up enough favorable rules on how to arbitrarily grab individual letters out of the Bible, you can spell anything. In fact, I was able to spell the following phrase out of letters I found in the Bible:

“God is an atheist”

It must be true! I saw it in the Bible!

Much of The Bible Code II was spent on predicting Armageddon. Apparently the End Times have begun. That’s good. I still owe a lot on my mortgage.

For the sake of argument, let’s accept the claims of these Jewish scholars and see where it leads.

If the End of the World is nigh, what’s the most likely and fastest way to get there? The standard plot that we all expect is the most logical: War starts in the Middle East, escalates, and we all die. Well, I guess those of us who aren’t “saved” die. Or are we the ones who are “left behind”? I lose track. I wish somebody would come up with a plausible story.

So, starting today, how might we get a war in the Middle East? Oh, wait! We already have that! OK, so then it’s just a small step to spreading it to Iran and Syria, which will quickly snowball (an appropriate term, since we’ll then be in a nuclear winter) to the rest of the region. The rest of the world will see how much fun all the cool kids are having and jump into the game with all of their nukes.

So let’s see. Who started this war? Oh, that’s right! Our very own Fundie-in-Chief, George W Bush! Being directly responsible for the deaths of billions of people can only mean one thing:

George Bush is the Antichrist!

As stated in an earlier article, we have a theocon in the White House, who is being influenced by all of the neocons around him. This is a background article on the neocons.

The “Reagan Revolution” of the 1980s saw the beginnings of what would later become the neocons. Pappy Bush was probably not a member of this group. He was, after all, talking about the New World Order, which had internationalist overtones — something anathema to the right wing today. Bob Dole certainly was not a neocon. Neither was Bill Clinton, who was the best Republican President we’ve had since Eisenhower.

Congress always had a few neocons. Jessie Helms, the rabid isolationist, was one, although he had been a right-wing nutjob so long that we should call him an oldie-con. The first true emergence of the neocons was in the Republican sweep of Congress in the mid-term elections of 1994. That’s when Newt Gingrich and his wolfpack swarmed into town with their “Contract on America”. Fortunately, this early attempt petered out.

The neocons regrouped and managed to completely take over the Republican Party’s inner circle by the late ’90s. In 1999, they went looking for somebody they could sell to the American people. They needed a front-man. The Shrub fit that bill perfectly.

Dubya was a member of the powerful Bush clan, whose influence in the party was broad and deep. Although he had barely succeeded in anything he did (and failed at the rest), he had that Texas charm. I don’t fall for it myself, but maybe that’s because I’m a cynical Left-Coaster. W had an affable charisma that managed to win over most of the middle-Americans that he met. The fact that he could only mentally compete in the featherweight division was so much the better. The neocons now in control of the Republican Party didn’t need independent thought. They only needed someone who could get elected and push their agenda through Congress.

Starting early

Both parties try to pick their Presidential nominees as early in the process as possible. They don’t want all of the hopefuls in their own party sniping at each other on television for several months. The public doesn’t remember the good things about a candidate. All they remember is the mud they’ve heard, even if it isn’t true. Furthermore, the sooner in the Primary process that a party’s candidate is chosen, the sooner the party can take advantage of all of that free media coverage to promote their guy over the other party’s.

In 1999, the GOP took this to the extreme. They didn’t even wait for the Iowa Caucuses or the New Hampshire Primary. They just decided in a smoke-filled room (I’m sure it was smoke-filled. I can’t imagine that the Republicans would do their conniving in a room in California, Massachusetts, or New York, where progressive laws protect free breathing.) that W would be their best bet. Their apple cart was almost upset by the unexpected popularity of John McCain in the Primaries. They quickly put him out of their misery by slinging some especially nasty mud.

If it ain’t broke, fix it anyway

Fast forward to the election in November 2000. Despite all of their best efforts, even as late as 2000 there was enough common sense remaining in this country that Al Gore won the election.

That’s right. Al Gore won the election.

Gore won the popular vote, and the evidence is overwhelming that he won Florida as well. But lucky for the neocons, they had already installed one of their own in the Florida statehouse. None other than Junior’s very own brother, Jeb! Jeb conspired with Republican insider and Florida Secretary of State Katherine Harris to override state law and give the election to W. When this was challenged, the Republican appointees on the Supreme Court paid back their political debt by installing W into the White House. All of that Republican planning had paid off!

For those of you who like to think that your beloved Shrub actually won, here are the facts. More people voted for Gore than Bush. OK, that’s not how Presidents are selected, but it doesn’t change the fact that most Americans who voted didn’t want your guy. A minority is not a mandate!

We’ll never know for certain what the actual Florida vote count was. The activist judges on the Republican-controlled Supreme Court made sure of that. Note that they didn’t bother to intervene until the recount was showing that Bush’s lead of only a few hundred votes was rapidly slipping away! Even if the final count had shown a small margin for Bush, you still need to factor in the Butterfly Ballot. That fiasco was a result of incompetence, not Republican malfeasance, but the result is the same. Thousands of Gore votes were incompetently diverted to ultra-con Pat Buchanan. And this was in a heavily-Democratic district in which Buchanan didn’t even campaign.

Based upon his numbers in all of the other districts, you can estimate what Buchanan would have drawn with a fair ballot. His numbers in that district were many times what they should have been. This is a statistical near-impossibility. Those several-thousand votes would have overwhelmed Bush’s slim majority and given Florida to Gore.

The evidence is clear: The majority of Floridians voted for Gore. For all of you -cons out there (neo-, theo-, and otherwise), don’t bother to scream at me about sour grapes. Everything is this section is established fact. If you aren’t happy about that, why don’t you go read your Bible? I’m sure there are a lot of “facts” in there that are much more to your liking.

Now fix the intel

As for the 2004 election, Bush probably won that because of the fraudulent Iraq war. People are reluctant to turn against a President in times of national crisis. The fact that Bush put us into that crisis seems to have been lost on most people. Rather than search for Osama and fight terror, Bush decided to go into Iraq (for many reasons, some of which we’ll discuss in other articles).

Bush repeated so many times his blatant lie about Saddam Hussein being involved in Sept. 11 that the majority of Americans believed him! If anybody reading this ever believed that lie, beat yourself about the head and shoulders! It’s a lie! It’s a lie now. It was a lie then. It has never been true, and never been asserted by the intelligence community. If you believed Bush, you either need to stop watching Fox News, or you are a retard! (Actually, if you watch Fox News, you probably are a retard!)

And don’t write in defending the war on any of the other grounds. They’re all baseless! I’ll forgive you if you thought there were WMDs in Iraq. A lot of people did. Bush didn’t. He knew they weren’t there, but he withheld that intelligence from us. (Isn’t it weird seeing “Bush” and “intelligence” in the same sentence?)

The U.S. government is being run by a cabal of neocons. Cheney, et. al, are subscribers to the PNAC doctrine.

The neocon agenda is not a religious one. They are out to make America the lone dominant world power. Even our current situation of being the biggest kid on the block is untenable to them. They want to be the only kid. If they manage to line their own pockets with billions of dollars along the way, so much the better.

The neocon agenda, by a longshot, is not in the best interests of the U.S. or the vast majority of its citizens, let alone anybody else in the world. The neoconjob is outside the scope of this website, except where it overlaps with religious fundamentalism. I suggest you check out some of the websites devoted exclusively to the wider PNAC threat.

George W Bush shares many of the neocon beliefs, but he is also a fundie. It is unclear at times which of these two “moral codes” is more important to him.

Although many people like to think that Bush is a mere puppet, I have not seen sufficient evidence of this. There is no question that Bush is more heavily influenced (manipulated may be a better word) by the people around him than any other President in living memory (With the possible exception of Reagan. He was manipulated by Nancy, who was manipulated by her astrologer.).

Here’s the problem

Bush is not a puppet, but he is pliable. Most of the Bush White House and other key Washington positions are now held by neocons. This cabal is making many of the decisions that are supposed to be made by a strong President who has the best interests of the American people in mind (not just the American people who own Haliburton).

Instead, many decisions are made by the neocon cabal and a weak President. A President, by the way, who thinks he converses with God on a regular basis, and whom God has personally chosen to execute the war (and Bush loves to execute!).

The neocons want the U.S. to control the world’s oil supplies. Fundies want war in the Middle East to hasten the End Times (we’ll be covering a lot of these details in future articles). Many neocon goals dovetail with fundie beliefs. All Cheney has to do to get Dubya to start a war with Iraq (and now, apparently, Iran!!) is to frame it in terms that he can understand. Tell him it’s God’s will, and you won’t have to ask him twice.

A popular chant among the bigoted is “God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve!”

Actually, I beg to disagree. God did create Adam and Steve.

According to the myth, God removed one of Adam’s ribs to create Eve. Why was this necessary? He was able to create Adam out of dirt. What’s wrong? Was the Hoover now empty? Why couldn’t he just zap up another dust bunny and turn it into Adam’s mate?

If God created another human being out of tissue removed from Adam, then clearly this new person is a clone of Adam! The new guy is a guy! The Bible is mute on this person’s name, but the fundies seem quite happy to have already named him Steve!

Then God would have changed Steve into a woman. That’s right! Eve was the world’s first transsexual! And what’s more, Eve is related to Adam, so God is promoting incest right out the gate!

One of those whispered questions that a lot of fundies don’t want asked, let alone answered, is where Cain’s and Abel’s wives came from. Well, maybe they evolved. What? You don’t like that answer? OK, then, Cain and Abel married their sisters. Why wouldn’t they? Their father married his own clone in the world’s first homosexual marriage.

Welcome to the Second Coming of the Bay of Fundie! It was conceived nine months ago as a podcast. Although it showed signs of life, there was definite brain activity, and there is no doubt that it had a soul, its parents didn’t want it, so I gave it a partial-birth abortion. That is my right.

Things will be getting off to a rough start. Consider the next couple of weeks to be a “shakedown cruise.” This web site is running blogging software called WordPress. It has a lot of capabilities and features, many of which I hope to activate in the weeks and months ahead.