BJ’s Year in Review
Our good “friend” Bill Johnson of the American Decency Association has published his year-in-review (note that this link is a PDF), in which he congratulates himself for annoying the hell out of the rest of us. It’s a big document, so let’s get started mocking it!
“It Must be Pornographic! I Can See an Ankle!”
In the early days of January, we found ourselves engaged in the highest profile battle of the year. A person in the Detroit area expressed concern regarding a pornographic calendar associated with the Detroit Pistons: their dance team, “Automotion.”
Is that all it takes? One moron out of an entire metropolitan area has a conniption over something, and you guys go nuts? BJ goes on to say that the calendar uses “erotic models”. Umm…, which is it, BJ? Pornographic or erotic? There’s a huge difference, you know (Actually, you probably don’t. That’s part of the problem.).
Now I haven’t seen this calendar that you are so upset about; funny thing, that. You don’t provide any images of the calendar to support your claims (you can obscure the naughty bits, you know; there’s this neat program called Photoshop), nor do you provide any links. I’m just supposed to believe you?
I find it hard to believe that a professional sports team would be publishing pornography. I’d be willing to bet that the calendar is just scantily-clad women. Just because you’re a eunuch doesn’t mean the rest of us are. Just because you can’t get aroused looking at big breasts in small bikinis doesn’t mean that you get to take that minor pleasure from the rest of us. Or is that your problem? You do get aroused, and it scares you. Sex is always dirty and the work of Satan.
Detroit News ran an informal poll regarding whether the “Automotion” calendar was pornographic. Over 50% stated it was inappropriate.
Hey, asshat! The short bus is here to take you to the “special class”! If you’re going to quote a statistic, it ought to back up your assertion! The first sentence says that the question was whether the calendar was pornographic. The second sentence says that most people thought it was inappropriate. Did you even go to school? Look at this:
pornographic ≠ inappropriate
The calendar may well be inappropriate. That is a conversation worth having, but you just stated that the majority of Detroit residents disagree with you! They said it isn’t pornographic! Jeeeeeezzzzz! What a retard!
(Photo: Loretta Detamore president of Muskegon Morality in Media with Bill Johnson)
Loretta Detamore, president of Muskegon Morality in Media, led their local MIM affiliate with heart, soul and mind since the mid-80’s.
I think you’ve got a typo there, BJ. Based on the above picture, I think you mean “…since her mid-80’s.”
In a final meeting on November 2, Mrs. Detamore presented a white ribbon bouquet to Bill Johnson, president of ADA, symbolizing the merging of the two decency groups.
Holy Jebus! That goes against the laws of Gawd!! Marriage is only between a man and a woman! Two whole groups can’t get married! You people are always trying to violate the sanctity of marriage!
“They’re Showing Skin! Well, Not Skin Exactly…”
BJ continued his campaign against loose morality in mannequin-Americans.
February 2, 2006 — Victoria’s Secret — Displaying full cleavage shot and nearly-nude mannequin
The only type of person who is offended by a “nude” mannequin is the type who is secretly aroused by it. What’s wrong, Bill? Did your Sally Suck-Me-Off deflate?
“I May Be a Dick, But I’m Jesus’ Dick!”
ADA continues its thankless but important monitoring on a variety of fronts.
Tell you what, BJ. Why don’t you reread that sentence. It should be easy, considering that you wrote it. What word jumps out at you? No, not “important”! Whoever said that what you do is important? Look again. That’s right, “thankless”!
Here’s a clue about living among other people. If nobody thanks you for something, then maybe it’s because nobody wants you to do it!!!!
ADA remains faithful to monitoring and reporting our results in regard to:
Victoria’s Secret (wall and window displays and its so-called “Fashion Show” coming up on December 5); ABC/Disney’s “Desperate Housewives” and “Grey’s Anatomy”; Fox’s “Family Guy”, “American Dad”, “War at Home”, and indecency at the checkout counter including “Cosmo” and, “Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition”.
I have nothing funny to say about the above paragraph. I just thought you’d want to know what these pinheads think is important. I’m sure glad I voted for them to be the morality police. Oh, wait! I didn’t!