BJ’s Year in Review

Our good “friend” Bill Johnson of the American Decency Association has published his year-in-review (note that this link is a PDF), in which he congratulates himself for annoying the hell out of the rest of us. It’s a big document, so let’s get started mocking it!

“It Must be Pornographic! I Can See an Ankle!”

In the early days of January, we found ourselves engaged in the highest profile battle of the year. A person in the Detroit area expressed concern regarding a pornographic calendar associated with the Detroit Pistons: their dance team, “Automotion.”

Is that all it takes? One moron out of an entire metropolitan area has a conniption over something, and you guys go nuts? BJ goes on to say that the calendar uses “erotic models”. Umm…, which is it, BJ? Pornographic or erotic? There’s a huge difference, you know (Actually, you probably don’t. That’s part of the problem.).

Now I haven’t seen this calendar that you are so upset about; funny thing, that. You don’t provide any images of the calendar to support your claims (you can obscure the naughty bits, you know; there’s this neat program called Photoshop), nor do you provide any links. I’m just supposed to believe you?

I find it hard to believe that a professional sports team would be publishing pornography. I’d be willing to bet that the calendar is just scantily-clad women. Just because you’re a eunuch doesn’t mean the rest of us are. Just because you can’t get aroused looking at big breasts in small bikinis doesn’t mean that you get to take that minor pleasure from the rest of us. Or is that your problem? You do get aroused, and it scares you. Sex is always dirty and the work of Satan.

Detroit News ran an informal poll regarding whether the “Automotion” calendar was pornographic. Over 50% stated it was inappropriate.

Hey, asshat! The short bus is here to take you to the “special class”! If you’re going to quote a statistic, it ought to back up your assertion! The first sentence says that the question was whether the calendar was pornographic. The second sentence says that most people thought it was inappropriate. Did you even go to school? Look at this:

pornographic ≠ inappropriate

The calendar may well be inappropriate. That is a conversation worth having, but you just stated that the majority of Detroit residents disagree with you! They said it isn’t pornographic! Jeeeeeezzzzz! What a retard!

Merger

Bill Johnson and supporter
(Photo: Loretta Detamore president of Muskegon Morality in Media with Bill Johnson)

Loretta Detamore, president of Muskegon Morality in Media, led their local MIM affiliate with heart, soul and mind since the mid-80’s.

I think you’ve got a typo there, BJ. Based on the above picture, I think you mean “…since her mid-80’s.”

In a final meeting on November 2, Mrs. Detamore presented a white ribbon bouquet to Bill Johnson, president of ADA, symbolizing the merging of the two decency groups.

Holy Jebus! That goes against the laws of Gawd!! Marriage is only between a man and a woman! Two whole groups can’t get married! You people are always trying to violate the sanctity of marriage!

“They’re Showing Skin! Well, Not Skin Exactly…”

BJ continued his campaign against loose morality in mannequin-Americans.

February 2, 2006 — Victoria’s Secret — Displaying full cleavage shot and nearly-nude mannequin

The only type of person who is offended by a “nude” mannequin is the type who is secretly aroused by it. What’s wrong, Bill? Did your Sally Suck-Me-Off deflate?

“I May Be a Dick, But I’m Jesus’ Dick!”

ADA continues its thankless but important monitoring on a variety of fronts.

Tell you what, BJ. Why don’t you reread that sentence. It should be easy, considering that you wrote it. What word jumps out at you? No, not “important”! Whoever said that what you do is important? Look again. That’s right, “thankless”!

Here’s a clue about living among other people. If nobody thanks you for something, then maybe it’s because nobody wants you to do it!!!!

ADA remains faithful to monitoring and reporting our results in regard to:
Victoria’s Secret (wall and window displays and its so-called “Fashion Show” coming up on December 5); ABC/Disney’s “Desperate Housewives” and “Grey’s Anatomy”; Fox’s “Family Guy”, “American Dad”, “War at Home”, and indecency at the checkout counter including “Cosmo” and, “Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition”.

I have nothing funny to say about the above paragraph. I just thought you’d want to know what these pinheads think is important. I’m sure glad I voted for them to be the morality police. Oh, wait! I didn’t!

6 Responses to “BJ’s Year in Review”

  1. j frank Says:

    How’s it feel to fight against God?
    How’s it gonna feel if you lose your soul in hell?
    Is it worth it?
    Temporary pleasure for eternal agony ?
    “oh, you foolish Christians, that’s all myth . . . ”

    It won’t seem like a myth when your on your deathbed, taking your last breaths and thinking, “Does God really exist?
    Was that old woman Loretta really working for God, promoting decency? Was I really working against God all my life, using all my energies against Him?
    Am I about to meet God face to face?
    Am I about to hear the most fateful words anyone could ever hear? From God himself, “Away from me you evil-doer, I solemnly assure you, I do not know you . .”

    God can forgive you, if you turn to Him before it’s too late.

    I DARE YOU TO ACTUALLY ENTIRELY READ JUST ONE OF THE GOSPELS. JESUS WILL TURN YOUR LIFE UPSIDE DONE –

    I’ve done my part – now it’s time for you to wake up.

  2. Ron Britton Says:

    J Frank:

    Wow! I had never thought of that before. I will read the Gospels! You’ve saved my soul!

  3. j frank Says:

    You know – Christians enjoy the sexuality that God has given them !! They especially enjoy it to the fullest within marriage WITH GODS BLESSING AND APPROVAL. Ironically, they enjoy their sexuality far more than those who bounce from partner to partner and frown on Gods plan. Do the research – study after study shows committed Christians much more satisfied with their love lives – than non.

    ” . . . oH, Those Christians are such Prudes …”

    Sex is one of the great gifts of God to us.

    But like many things, it can be ‘used’ for good or for evil.

    For one thing, I CHOOSE, to protect my kids from promiscuous sexual images – because they are not ready for sex yet, and when they are they will know that it’s meant for a life-long relationship rooted in love. Not a one night stand that leaves people broken and bitter.

    Society today says “have sex often and with anyone, just wear a condom …” Amongst other things, How boring and mundane ! How trivial and shallow ! Just a temporary pleasure with yet another new face. What an empty life !!!!

    Try this on: A life-long love affair with your spouse, that actually grows better and better with time. An immensely satisfying relationship, that reaches heights that others can’t imagine – because they are always stuck on the first rung of the ladder, and always starting over again, every single time. Nothing to build on.

    Trust me, after 20 yrs of marriage, 3 WONDERFUL KIDS – and an overwhelmingly satisfying sex life – GODS PLAN IS AWESOME, SECOND TO NONE.

    It’s a sad shame that so many people are trapped on such a grey, desolate landscape . . . . . which ends in despair.

    CHOOSE GOD.

  4. Jeff Eyges Says:

    The saddest part of the mindless blather above is comprised of the words, “my kids”. This dribbling lackwit has procreated.

  5. Lindsay Says:

    LMAO @ Ron. Yes, us atheists have been living in complete denial and if we would just listen and let Jesus into our hearts we will be so happy!

    It always amazes me how fundies think we are so unhappy. I’m personally glad I’m not always worrying about which arbitrary rules I may or may not be breaking on a daily basis. But if that is what j frank likes, well whatever floats your boat I guess.

  6. Parrotlover77 Says:

    Christians enjoy the sexuality that God has given them !! They especially enjoy it to the fullest within marriage WITH GODS BLESSING AND APPROVAL.

    I knew it! God is into voyerism and we’re all his exhibitionists!