Why Fundies are so Uptight

Fundies protesting the Second Law of Thermodynamics

(Image swiped from The Onion.)

I just had a revelation. I think I finally understand why fundies are so pissed off all the time. The reason is something that we’ve all observed. I just always assumed that it was a symptom and not the cause. Here’s my insight:

This is a Christian country. The Constitution is based on the Ten Commandments.

Neither statement is true, of course, but that’s what the fundies believe. They’re always telling us that.

The fact that the Ten Commandments comes from the Torah doesn’t much matter to them. They pick and choose what they like from the New Testament, so why can’t they do that with the Old as well? They sometimes talk about “Judeo-Christian values”, but that’s just lip service. If they really meant to include the Jews, you’d never hear them utter the phrase “Christian country”. But of course, that’s all you ever hear.

Think about it from their perspective for a moment. Somebody lied to them and told them this is a Christian country, so now they all believe that. How does that color their thinking?

That means that the USA is their home. I’m not saying that they merely live in it. They own it. That means that all of the non-Christians here are merely guests. They are allowing us to live here; Christian charity in action!

That’s why they get pissed off when the rest of us try to keep (their) religion out of government buildings and the schools. That’s why they think it’s their right—no, their obligation—to put God in the Pledge of Allegiance, on the money, and everywhere else.

The non-Christians are very rude house-guests! How would you like it if some guy you barely knew comes to your door and begs to be allowed to stay. When you say yes (temporarily is implied!), the guy moves in with all of his stuff, starts rearranging the furniture, watches rude things on TV, engages in non-missionary-position sex with partners that are not his wife (or even the opposite sex!), tells your children that their great-great-grandparents were monkeys, etc., etc.

No wonder they’re pissed off.

The problem, of course, is that this isn’t their country. Well, yes, it is, but not exclusively. America isn’t a house. It’s a condominium association. They own what is inside their unit. Their neighbors are Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, and atheists, who have the right to do whatever they want inside of their own units (within reason, of course). The common areas belong to everyone and can’t be taken over by one resident.

So that is the fundie-mental problem (yes, read that both ways). This insight allows us to change our tactics. You can quote the Establishment Clause of the First Amendment to them all you want, but that doesn’t matter to them. They think they own the country. We need to change that misconception first.

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