It Would Have Been Easier to Keep the Birds Away from the Engines

God lands plane! Film at 11.

ParrotLover sent me the hilarious image above. He writes:

Got an email from a fundie relative regarding the plane landing in the river. Of course I’ve heard on and on how it was actually a miracle and not pilot skill, but this picture takes the cake! I’m guessing God hates birds since he was obviously responsible for the plane hitting them and all. Just another reason for me to not like god so much… 😉

That’s because some birds are smarter than most fundies. God hates intelligence.

If you look at the picture, you’ll see that it was made by Rex Babin of the Sacramento Bee. It turns out this guy is their resident political cartoonist. If you look at his archive, you’ll see he’s mediocre at best.

I see they allow readers to comment on his cartoons. The comments are filled with exactly what you’d expect: Lots of people praising God and claiming this proves he exists. There were a few comments that bucked that trend, though. This one from JRatv1 was especially good:

Absolutely it was God’s hands that saved the passengers from certain doom. I’m sure it had nothing to do with the professional flight crew following LONG ESTABLISHED emergency procedures. After exhausting options to divert to two airports, they realized they were running out of airspeed and altitude. They realized the only non-obstructed piece of real estate to put the plane down was the Hudson. Nor did it have anything to do with the fact that the aircraft has a system in place for water landings to slow the flooding of the aircraft enabling the passengers to escape before it sinks. I’m quite sure it was God’s guidance, not the flight [attendants’], which got everyone out of the aircraft as it was SLOWLY taking on water. Nor did the post 9/11 disaster training, which incorporated local ferry services, have anything to do with the quick response time preventing the passengers from the dangerous effects of hypothermia. If not for the grace of God, I’m confident all of these passengers would have been doomed to certain death. Oh, and [by] the way, why did God lend his guiding hands to US Airways flight 1529 but turned his back on Continental Express flight 3407 that crashed last night?

That dovetails with this comment from midgerin:

I am extremely offended by this viewpoint. What about all of those who have lost a loved one on previous plane crashes that didn’t go so well? Are you trying to say that “God” didn’t feel the need to have a hand in those unfortunate incidents? This is a slap in the face of anyone who has lost someone in a crash—Rex should be ashamed of himself for this.

I think midgerin is overreacting. God is like Superman. He can only be in one place at a time.

Superman
(Detail from The Truth about Superman.)

(BTW, have you ever considered how hard it would be for Superman to function in this world if he actually existed? If he ever messed up a rescue, he’d be sued for malpractice. Then there’s the problem of which of the many disasters occurring simultaneously around the world he should run to, thereby condemning everybody at the other disaster sites to certain doom. Then there’s the problem that his “rescues” are worse than the disaster. If you’re falling 50 stories to your doom and Superman flies in from the side and snatches you in a perpendicular save, that sudden change in vector from down to sideways will liquify your brain better than merely hitting the pavement would.)

You can think as fast as Superman with a TRS-80!

(Image from L.A. Times. Here’s the full-size original.)

6 Responses to “It Would Have Been Easier to Keep the Birds Away from the Engines”

  1. Parrotlover77 Says:

    I looked at the archive. He would be excellent cartoonist if he chose to — oh I dunno — maybe make one of his cartoons actually funny? Actually, the giant elephant blocking the curvey road to stimulus was kinda sorta funny. But, well, it’s not exactly original.

    At least, unlike Jack Chick, he can actually draw halfway decent.

  2. Bart v.d. M. Says:

    Your analogy is incorrect: Superman can’t listen to everybody who prays for things that are gonna happen anyway, at the same time, can he?

    If God wouldn’t be so lazy these days, he would’ve appeared before one of the passengers way before the disaster happened, and told him to build a giant parachute to save two people from every ethnicity on board. But as we all know, God’s getting cheap with his miracles.

  3. Parrotlover77 Says:

    Bart wins the internet.

  4. Ron Britton Says:

    Bart is overlooking the fact that God was the world’s first social Darwinist. He didn’t save the Africans, the Asians, the Europeans, and whatever other ethnicities existed 4000 years ago. Instead, he Slobodaned them all and only saved Noah and a few other Middle Easterners.

  5. Brian Katcher Says:

    Jesus Christ, I have that TRS-80 advertisement…er, comic book somewhere. Funny.

  6. Parrotlover77 Says:

    I like how back then the lay person thought of the computer as more of a miracle brain-like entity (think as fast as superman!) as opposed to just a tool, like we do today. Good times.