Whoops! Fundies’ Darwin Conundrum

There’s some assclown named “Molotov Mitchell” (obviously a communist!) over at World Nut Daily who produces amazingly moronic videos. In this one, he thinks that liberals love evolution, because then they don’t have to believe in God and can do whatever they want. But oh noes!! Teh evilution contradicts all of the tenets that liberals hold dear!

Yeah, right. All this guy demonstrates is his near-total misunderstanding of both liberals and evolution.

But what’s really funny is that his whole premise contradicts what the fundies have been saying in Expelled and at the Discovery Institute: That “Darwinism” leads to godless communism. This guy claims that evolution leads to God and capitalism! Oops! Somebody didn’t get the memo!

So which is it, fundies? Does “Darwinism” prove or disprove God? And is God a capitalist or a communist?

(If you can’t see the embedded video, then go over to this ass-wipe’s page at WND.)

The stupid! It burns!

18 Responses to “Whoops! Fundies’ Darwin Conundrum”

  1. Rose Says:

    Wow. Yeah, I wish they’d at least get their stories straight. Can science prove god or are they mutually exclusive?

  2. Parrotlover77 Says:

    I just wish they would understand what “fittest” means in terms of evolution. You can be a real big bad ass mofo who is a billionaire by your own hands, has 100s of mating opportunities per year, but if your little swimmers ain’t swimming, goodbye offspring!

  3. The Watcher Says:

    I think I may have destroyed my mouse, crushing it out of anger at this. I want to produce a video where I smart off about conservatives, who seem to have it all figured out, but can’t understand the difference between “should” and “is.”

    Evolution isn’t a moral imperative. “Discouraging” homosexuality won’t do anything, because homosexuals will still be homosexual, and I don’t know anybody who’s trying to “encourage” evolution anyway.

    God DAMN he’s a moron.

  4. Sarah Says:

    Don’t you just love how they use absolutely no evidence EVER and yet STILL pretend to be complete fucking EXPERTS in the subject matter?

    A HIGH SCHOOL debate team (coughxminexcough) could tear his ass in two seconds flat. Making retards cry is our specialty and we consider that more of a sport than the debate itself. It’s almost like on Animal Planet when you watch the big cats go in for the kill…just sad, but you can’t look away.

    How is that for ‘survival of the fittest’ jackass!?

  5. Warren Says:

    His gay argument makes absolutely no sense, granted none of his other arguments do either, but to me that one makes the lease sense. Assuming homosexuality is both genetic and hereditary then the only way to actually remove it (were that your goal) from the population would be to encourage homosexuality. By repressing it you force homosexuals into heterosexual relationships which allows them to pass on their gay genes to their children. Saying homosexuals have bad genes so we should discourage homosexuality is like saying balding people have bad genes so we should discourage baldness.

    How does one manage to achieve such monumental levels of stupidity?

  6. Brian Says:

    Whenever a person combines complete and undeniable ignorance with a sense of smug, holier-than-thou certitude, not only do you have a fundie on your hands, you’re dealing with a dickhole.

    This guy reminds me of my least tolerable type of Christian. I don’t have a name for the type, but I’m sure you’ve already encountered one. They’re usually on the younger side and full of energy. Their personality is outgoing and seemingly friendly. Too outgoing for me. Whenever I meet a person with this kind of energy level they’re either trying to save my soul or get me to buy into their pyramid marketing scheme. I’m not sure which is worse.

    Most galling of all is the way in which Jesus or God is worked into EVERY aspect of life, no matter how mundane or unimportant it might be. This is the kind of guy who would earnestly pray to Jesus for a parking space close to the front of the lot. If he got the last bag of Doritos in the vending machine, hallelujah! Its a fucking miracle, thank you Jesus!

    He’s the kind of Christian who will “try to get some praise and worship going” on a Thursday morning because he’s still full of the lord (read into that what you will) from last night’s service. In short, he is a douche. He will never realize this, nor would he even care. His imaginary friends are the most important people in his life, and he wants to introduce you to them. Can I get an amen?

  7. Lindsay Says:

    Amen Brian. I always enjoy your posts, but today you had me laughing so hard I was in tears. I loved that you worked “fundie” and “Doritos” into the same post.

  8. sue blue Says:

    AAAamen, brothuh! Perky piety is the ultimate in douchebaggery. Very few things could possibly be more irritating. Once I was accosted by one of these infomercials for Gawd at a gas station when I was running late for work. This woman was acting like Jesus had just given her the orgasm of her life. Or like she’d just taken a great big hit on her crack pipe and snorted some meth while sucking down a Red Bull or two. Meanwhile, my eyes are barely open and I’m fifteen minutes late for work. She’s just lucky I didn’t have anything more lethal than a gas pump nozzle in my hand.

  9. Crystal D. Says:

    Does Darwin prove or disprove god? Maybe we should consider a compromise and say both? 🙂

  10. Brian Says:

    Crystal,

    I’m sorry if this is going to sound harsh. I really don’t want it to be. I’ve got a new episode of Battlestar Galactica coming on soon so I’m in a good mood, but we must talk.

    Your comment amounts to nothing more than intellectual cowardice. I can’t help picturing someone saying, “Science is, like, hard. There’s all those facts, and stuff. Who has time to keep track of them all anyway? Besides, like, everyone I know believes in God, so I’m not going to be a total loser, am I?”

    Science and religion are often sold to us as two happily coexisting explanatory systems by those who wish we could all just get along. There is a crucial difference. One system is steeped in evidence and experimentation, has no idea forever safe from revision and constantly admits to its own ignorance on all matters. The other is nothing more than a public nuisance kept afloat by the lesser human qualities of ignorance, credulity, fear, arrogance, and bigotry.

    If you were steeped in evolutionary biology and natural selection, you would watch the video above and within seconds conclude that Mr. Molotov Mitchell is a fuckstick who is proud of his own stupidity. It is literally like listening to someone who truly believes that the sun will rise in the west tomorrow morning, and cannot be dissuaded from his delusion even after being proven wrong.

    There is no comparison between science and religion. Go ahead, find out for yourself. Perhaps if you do, the next time you read a statement advocating the parity of both, I hope you won’t associate it with the same emoticon. That’s certainly not the expression on my face.

  11. Parrotlover77 Says:

    Brian – although your post was, as usual, brilliant, I fear Crystal M. was nothing more than just a drive-by troll trying to spread links to his/her website. If you look at the content, it’s only mildly on-topic and could be posted to thousands of blogs on any number of scientific, skeptical, or superstituous blogs uncut and still also be mildly on-topic.

  12. sue blue Says:

    I tried…I really did. But I could only make it about a third of the way through the waste of time and technology that is this video. This guy – who should be the poster boy for birth control – makes associative leaps that would make a psychologist scream “schizophrenia!!!” Apparently, any half-assed idea he got in the middle of a drunken dream, or any two words that reminded him of something, is enough to link to Darwin and evolution and liberals. It’s like some wierd word-association game or something. Even being drunk wouldn’t help; I’d probably just puke.

    Unbelievable that people this stupid can breathe and walk at the same time.

  13. Chuck Says:

    Wow…the stupid really DOES burn. I love how he assumes that because something is an evolutionary dead-end (e.g., homosexuality) that it “should be discouraged”. So…sterility “should be discouraged”? Tell me, Mr. Fatty, how exactly does one go about “discouraging” sterility? And besides, if we’re trying to “discourage” things that lead to an evolutionary dead-end, maybe we should “discourage” you from eating so much and sitting on your fat ass?

    It’s funny how the morons who claim that they’re against social Darwinism build a straw man that attempts to imply that accepting modern biology entails social Darwinism – but THEY are the ones who encourage social Darwinism (e.g., racial profiling, allowing the rich to be above the law).

  14. Parrotlover77 Says:

    I really don’t like the term “social Darwinism.” Is there a more accurate term without smearing Darwin’s name? Ethnic cleansing?

  15. Ron Britton Says:

    Ethnic cleansing is a euphemism for genocide. Social Darwinism is the long-accepted (and incorrect) term for applying artificial selection to human societies and pretending that your brutish behavior is justified by nature. After 130 years, I don’t think we’ll be able to change the term.

  16. dvsrat Says:

    This may be the stupidest person on the face of the earth. I imagined that someone opened up the top of this guy’s skull, plunged an electric mixer into his brain (on high), mixed thouroughly, replaced the top of his skull, and told him to make a video. This is the result.

  17. Jose Says:

    You could turn it into a public service video quite easily. Just add “Don’t be this guy, kids. Stay in school” at the end.

    The sheer level of idiocy here is amazing. I wonder if these people ever debate their position, face to face, against some moderately intelligent person with a grasp of evolutionary biology. Sadly, they probably don’t. I can’t stand such self-righteousness.

  18. Fred Says:

    I really want to see someone make a parody of this video and replace ‘evolution’ with ‘gravity.’

    Liberals LOOOOOOVE gravity, but Al Gore has an airplane! LOLOLOLOLOLOL!

    Why is it so hard for people to understand that evolution isn’t an agenda? We don’t WANT it to happen, it isn’t necessarily FAVORABLE, it just happens.