Jewish scholars prove that GWB is the Antichrist!

Bush is Satan

(Image from Earth Open Network.)

A couple of weeks ago, the History Channel ran a new version of their Bible Code show, followed by the one from a couple of years ago. The new one was even worse than the old one, in terms of impartiality.

The History Channel’s Credibility

Usually, their shows about loony ideas are presented fairly. They interview some of the self-deluded and present their claims. Then they interview some rationalists who present contradicting evidence. The tone of the shows sometimes leans slightly in favor of the loonies, but they’re still better than what passes for informational programming on the broadcast networks.

Sometimes they really shine. One show they did on Bigfoot shredded the Patterson film. That’s the famous one you’ve seen of the guy in the ape suit walking from a clearing into the woods. Of course, the camera was shaking like an epileptic fundie at a revival meeting. A Loch Ness documentary they did once discredited all of the eyewitness testimony that has built up over the years. They also pointed out that there were virtually no sightings of Nessie until the town of Loch Ness decided they needed to attract tourists. Funny how that works.

One of their best, however, was when they took on Noah’s Ark. The first half of the show uncritically presented the fable and all of the absurd claims and so-called proof that it’s now sitting on Mount Ararat. The second half of the show discredited the “evidence”, then attacked the myth itself. They really ripped Noah a new one! They showed how the story was a complete impossibility from so many different scientific angles. If they ever show it again, I’ll try to do a full review. If I find out at least a day in advance, I’ll try to post an alert on this site. You really should catch it.

Jewish Scholars Study the Bible Code

Unfortunately, the two History Channel documentaries on the Bible Code were an embarrassment. They mostly took the claims at face value and gushed about all of the “revelations” that have been discovered. They spent very little time explaining that this is a silly exercise. If you make up enough favorable rules on how to arbitrarily grab individual letters out of the Bible, you can spell anything. In fact, I was able to spell the following phrase out of letters I found in the Bible:

“God is an atheist”

It must be true! I saw it in the Bible!

Much of The Bible Code II was spent on predicting Armageddon. Apparently the End Times have begun. That’s good. I still owe a lot on my mortgage.

For the sake of argument, let’s accept the claims of these Jewish scholars and see where it leads.

If the End of the World is nigh, what’s the most likely and fastest way to get there? The standard plot that we all expect is the most logical: War starts in the Middle East, escalates, and we all die. Well, I guess those of us who aren’t “saved” die. Or are we the ones who are “left behind”? I lose track. I wish somebody would come up with a plausible story.

So, starting today, how might we get a war in the Middle East? Oh, wait! We already have that! OK, so then it’s just a small step to spreading it to Iran and Syria, which will quickly snowball (an appropriate term, since we’ll then be in a nuclear winter) to the rest of the region. The rest of the world will see how much fun all the cool kids are having and jump into the game with all of their nukes.

So let’s see. Who started this war? Oh, that’s right! Our very own Fundie-in-Chief, George W Bush! Being directly responsible for the deaths of billions of people can only mean one thing:

George Bush is the Antichrist!

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