A lot of funny or insightful things fly around the internet and land in our email boxes. For the most part, I don’t reprint any of them here. Many of you may have already seen them, I don’t want anybody to think that I’m claiming credit for them, and I like to keep the site populated with original content.

I sometimes get one that is especially good, so I will go ahead and break my rule (Egads! This is the second post in a row where I’m violating my own rules. At least I don’t invent goofy consequences for violations, such as burning in hell for all eternity. I’m mean that’s just plain stupid!).

Anyway, Cabbie X received this from the divine intelligence that is the internet, then he forwarded it to me.

Ten Reasons Gay Marriage Is Wrong

1. Homosexuality is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets, because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4. Heterosexual marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can’t marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if homosexual marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britney Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Homosexual couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to marry, because our orphanages aren’t full yet, and the world needs more children.
7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.
9. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven’t adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

This entry was posted on Friday, October 27th, 2006 at 9:26 pm and is filed under Church and State. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.