Something We All Can Agree On

This comic comes to us from Dueling Analogs (reformatted it to fit my margins).

Tom Cruise wannabe

96 Responses to “Something We All Can Agree On”

  1. arkonbey Says:

    if anything makes mainstream religions look normal, it’s Scientology. Invisible guy with a beard in the sky has nothing on aliens seeding earth by placing people in volcanoes or however that goes.

  2. The Improp Says:

    That is absolutely brilliant.

  3. Lindsay Says:

    LMAO. Arkonbey, you can also look at it this way: Some x-tians get down on Scientology but yet, they worship some ethereal being in the sky that created the universe in 7 days and used a spare rib of a man to make a woman…etcetera etcetera etcetera. Or that wafers and wine turn into the literal body and blood of Christ, the savior being born to a virgin (try using that excuse these days!), or Christ ascending directly to heaven. If you think about it, that is all pretty weird stuff too.

    I think mainstream religion only looks normal since we are fairly used to it…Scientology is a relatively new belief system. Maybe it will become more mainstream in a few generations…though I sincerely hope that that does not happen.

  4. arkonbey Says:

    Lindsay: What gets me about Scientology IS its newness. Basic belief in a supreme being is not all that strange, when you think about it. In some ways it is a natural reaction to those who cannot otherwise explain their world. Religions such as Christianity have had centuries to cobble together tenets and rituals that became crazy.

    Scientology, however, was created crazy right out of the box.

    It seems so joke-like, I really wonder about the legend of the Heinlein/Hubbard bet.

  5. Thomas Says:

    While we’re making up religions based on entertainment franchises, I’m the new high priest of Branch Kermitia, the blessed and holy followers of Henson. We strive every day for the humility and leadership of the Great Green One, the confidence of Our Lady of Holy Pork and for the clarity of spirit of the Hook Nosed Blue Whatever.

    You’re either with us or against us.

  6. OtherRob Says:

    akronbey, I think it’s supposed to be a Campbell/Hubbard bet, not Heinlein.

  7. LadyRavana Says:

    I LOL-ed.

    Man, Scientology makes fundamentalism look almost tame by comparison.

    Side note, ever seen TomCruiseIsNuts.com? It’s hilarious. I haven’t checked it in awhile, so I don’t know if he’s still into the Scientology thing. I did know he was batshit crazy.

    And while were at it, you should see Cracked.com’s “6 Insane Cults that Actually Sound Like a Lot of Fun”.

  8. NickJ29 Says:

    Hehehe

    Almost makes you forget about the crazy shit the fundies say happened in thier book. Virgin conception, meet alien oppression. Burning bush, meet exploding volcanoes with Hydrogen bombs. And don’t even get me started on how they treat their worshippers…

    You know, it is almost like the larger a religion gets, the more and more those at the top want to see just how far they can push it.

  9. sue blue Says:

    Don’t forget that other “new” religion — mormonism. Cobbled together out of thin air by that consummate con man, Joe Smith, and now a major factor in America’s ongoing religious freakshow. Somehow, in spite of the blatant stupidity and transparent falsehood of its tenets (Native Americans as the lost tribes of Israel, gold tablets that only Joe Smith could see, revelations from an angel named MORONi – could it get any more retarded?) it has somehow become enormously rich, the major religion of three states, and a major political factor. Makes you just want to scream.

  10. Ron Britton Says:

    Arkonbey/OtherRob:

    Most people have heard about that bet, but it seems everybody has a different set of SF writers present. I did a quick search and was unable to find any definitive information. Here’s a site that appears reputable that tries to answer the question. It mentions nothing about a bet, but it does come to the conclusion that LRH definitely said on multiple occasions:

    The way to make a million dollars is to start a religion.

  11. ericsan Says:

    I honestly don’t see much of a difference between the beliefs of xtians, jews, mormons, scientologists… All that stuff is incomprehensibly insane to me. I think we tend to give a free pass to xtians because they’ve been around longer, and either we’re more used to being exposed to their nonsense (most of us grew up in or around it one way or another) or it benefitted from a few thousand years of fine-tuning to make it more palatable to the unbeliever.

    Virgin birth, gold tablets, electronic sticky thetan-catching ribbons, it’s all the same ridiculous nonsense.

    Now, be nice to each other, I can understand. But I don’t see why you would need a religion for that. Clearly when you look at what fundies are doing that doesn’t seem to be the part of the message they care that much about.

  12. ericsan Says:

    Hey, wait a minute! It’s xmas eve! Merry fucking xmas Ron and BoF readers :)

  13. Ron Britton Says:

    Ericsan:

    …or it benefitted from a few thousand years of fine-tuning to make it more palatable to the unbeliever.

    I think that’s a large part of it. The non-fundie churches have a much more moderate interpretation that is an easy sell to a lot of people. Look at that whole Leviticus thing. It’s filled with all sorts of horrible things, such as stoning your kids to death if they talk back to you. Most modern forms of Christianity have left that behind. The Fundie Agenda is first to restore the restrictions against homosexuality. Once all the queers are dead, then they’ll start restoring the rest of the laws in Leviticus. Make sure you don’t eat shellfish! (Thankfully, eating the “bearded clam” will still be allowed.)

  14. TrailHound Says:

    Ahhh…the Bearded Clam religion!

    Finally, a religion that has it all: protracted togetherness, absolute fickleness and the much sought after holy grail: ecstasy!

    Sign me up.

  15. Craig Says:

    This site sucks and so do the views!!!

  16. some fella Says:

    i love this pic… the original is XP vs Mac vs Linux

    i love the evolution theory because it doesn’t make sense.
    “Once upon a time, in a place far, far away, there was a little atom that exploded! It then created the entire universe and then for no reason at all animals, plants, water, dirt, and air happened to appear in a ball that let all these things work together! Then originally perfect creatures began to change one generation at a time. Each time a creature evolved into something new, another creature of the same type evolved in the exact same random order that the other one did! They lived close enough together to find the other and were able to procreate because they were exactly the same! Then all of a sudden humans appeared!! They then had a thought process that enabled them to study, learn, write, read, and come up with silly ideas of how they came to be in this world.” Some of them thought that since they evolved from other creatures they could mate with them and make a new creature.

  17. Ron Britton Says:

    Some Fella:

    That is what is known as a straw man argument. Is that the best you can come up with?

  18. mehmeh Says:

    sigh… speaking as a christian i can tell you the fundies have it all wrong anyway. we actual christians know they’re wrong, most of us just dont know exactly how. i can tell you, though most of you seem to be against christianity, that the reason we get to eat shellfish and dont have to go about sacrificing adorable baby animals is because baby jesus forgives us for our sins, and he makes us holy. he never really specifies about gays really, but they do make a few mentions about pervs being not so great, i think we all can agree with that.
    as for the shellfish and the cotton polyester blends, baby jesus said it was ok to go ahead and ignore the kosher laws. as he told his apostles, eat drink and be merry. whether by merry he meant gay i’m not so sure, but who cares. fundamentalists are just the freaks of the bunch anyways, you get them in any situation. dare i say i’ve met some atheists that wanted me and my silly god dead. can’t say theyre hypocrites, not following any solid belief system in the first place, but its against the law for sure and certainly its not fair…

  19. mehmeh Says:

    p.s christains,

    dont fight hate with hate you bunch of dumbasses, you just make us look worse.

  20. ericsan Says:

    Uh oh… Looks like a bunch of fucktards got a new computer and AOL for xmas.

  21. Billy Says:

    This is one of the saddest things I’ve seen in a long time. Where’s the open-mindedness? Where’s the unity? It’s funny, the liberal left wingers are most guilty of what they accuse us of (Christians).

  22. Ron Britton Says:

    Billy:

    I see the Christian beating up the Scientologist too.

  23. Lindsay Says:

    Ooo…it’s the persecution complex popping up on Christmas! I guess someone was told “happy holidays” this year.

    Anyways, the guests who commented missed the point: that really, the Christian theology sounds just as batshit insane as the Scientology dogma if you step back and look at it objectively. The big bang theory is pretty out there too but at least there is more evidence backing up that and evolution.

  24. Motherbeast Says:

    I’ll just leave some L.Ron quotes here.

    * Now, get this as a technical fact, not a hopeful idea. Every time we have investigated the background of a critic of Scientology, we have found crimes for which that person or group could be imprisoned under existing law. We do not find critics of Scientology who do not have criminal pasts.
    o “Critics of Scientology” (5 November 1967)

    * If attacked on some vulnerable point by anyone or anything or any organization, always find or manufacture enough threat against them to cause them to sue for peace.
    o Dept. of Govt. Affairs (15 August 1960)

    * A truly Suppressive Person or group has no rights of any kind and actions taken against them are not punishable.
    o “Ethics, Suppressive Acts, Suppression of Scientology and Scientologists” (1 March 1965)

    * This is the correct procedure: Spot who is attacking us. Start investigating them promptly for felonies or worse using our own professionals, not outside agencies. Double curve our reply by saying we welcome an investigation of them. Start feeding lurid, blood sex crime actual evidence on the attackers to the press. Don’t ever tamely submit to an investigation of us. Make it rough, rough on attackers all the way.
    o “Attacks on Scientology” (25 February 1966)

    * ENEMY: SP Order. Fair game. May be deprived of property or injured by any means by any Scientologist without any discipline of the Scientologist. May be tricked, sued or lied to or destroyed.
    o “Penalties for Lower Conditions” (18 October 1967)

  25. Donoi Says:

    Lindsay,

    there is proof of the big bang.. but no real proof of evolution. At least not in the way most people think. There is solid, undeniable proof if Micro-evolution ( flowers breed different flowers, dogs breed different dogs, to an extent ).
    There is no proof of Macro-evolution. ( flowers and dogs both came from rocks ).
    There is no fossil record of any species that is between two stages… nothing with a half formed wing.. with feathers and scales… with fur and scales.. and they say it takes millions of years to go from one to the next.

    also.. there is nowhere near enough time for it to have happened.

    and before anyone says yes there was.. just to give you an idea of how little time has passed.

    assuming the universe has been around for 400 billion years. that comes out to:
    12579840000000000000 seconds.

    but when compared to something as simple as a deck of 52 cards where there is:
    806581751709438785716606368564040000000000000000000000000000000000 way to organize that deck of cards. and that’s not counting the probability of all those cards being in the same spot at the same time either.

    and yes… that is the actual number.

  26. DidILearnSomething Says:

    Thanks for those Hubbard quotes, those were very educational. It makes me think that the only way to deal with a Scientologist, and by extension, Scientology is not to attack them (because that’s what they want, expect, and are prepared for) but to engage them in sublimely disinterested dialogue, like a bratty kid who wants attention. Say, “That’s Nice” and walk away.

    I’m reminded of The Fifth Element where the naval officer launches missiles at the dark planet. “Evil begets evil, Mr. President.”

  27. Adam Says:

    yeah, but you’re forgetting that even with the great masses of space that we can see is actually just a tiny portion of the entire universe, and on a big enough scale the probabilty of everything increases towards 1, whereas a pack of cards takes up an area of about 5cm^3 the universe is in question of being infinite in size and thus we can assume that even though the chances are very slim, it becomes very probable that this is all just co-inicdence. which, although that idea is very romantic, and won’t create as many doey-eyed looks as the old testament, its a damn sight more logical.

  28. LadyRavana Says:

    Aaaaand the stupid people come crawling out of the woodwork. Yay! Trolls for Christmas!

  29. spf8000000 Says:

    Donoi

    There are plenty of fossils which indicate evolution between species; i.e from raptors to birds there are Yixianosaurus → Pedopenna → Archaeopteryx → Confuciusornis → Ichthyornis all appearing at different times and with enough in similar sturcture to be considered the same species but changed.
    http://www.holysmoke.org/tran-icr.htm
    wil provide more, differant examples of transitional fossils in other species.

    And on the half formed wing; there is no evidence because no animal would have had hafl a wing, and if they did it wuld not have aided them in surviving; rather it would have been cumbersome and useless; so the organism would probably have died witout passing it on. What has been found is organisms which have skin flaps attached to arms which would have enabled them to glide. These would eventually gain muscle structures and bone mass allowing them to be used for free flight; just look at the way most birds, when flying, tend to spend most of the time gliding.

  30. leo Says:

    I almost feel like Scientology is sponsored atleast at the beginning by the american government.

    I always felt that Religion is the best way for a government to keep a society under control, and keep it from unrest.

    By adding scientology to the mix it rationalizes christians beliefs in their bible.

    It lets them say… scientologists are CRAZY, we are normal by comparison, and thus PROLONGS the belief in Christianity and catholicism, and the other widely accepted religions.

    I have always felt this way, although scientology has been on the governments shitlist, it has ALSO been on its “accepted” list and remains on it today.

    The US government is very planned out and precise, like a well made machine, and there are MANY parts to it. I would believe that scientology is a way for a part of the population of the USA, that do not accept christianity or are unhappy with it, to join another religion, thus not becomming athiest and being the exact thing that the government despises, because it cannot control them as easily.

    Looking at the facts of religion and that some people just need MORE.. is a valid reason to see that scientology just comes with the times so that the ones who are fed up with the current religions can stay religous, rather than go over to the “dark side” as thought of by the US government.

    My reasoning…. well lets see.. if you say you are an athiest in government, YOU WILL NEVER BE AS SUCCESSFUL as a believer, even if not at heart, but rather in public expression. The religious seem to automatically agree with those who hold their beliefs and views about GOD as the same, or closer to the same rather than FARTHER. GOD is GOD … anti god is the world you can be.

    I guess i am the worst american there is.

  31. Pretentious Lowlives Says:

    photoshopped

  32. Kevin Says:

    wait, didn’t this used to be a comic about scientology? where does evolutio vs. creation come into play?

    silly trolls.

  33. Ron Britton Says:

    photoshopped

    Actually, it’s just a drawing.

  34. ericsan Says:

    Macro-evolution = flowers and dogs come from rocks? Nice job Donoi. At least you’re not ashamed of your astonishing ignorance.

  35. cipher Says:

    I’ve noticed that the holiday season seems to be bringing out the psychotic and the intellectually challenged.

  36. Lindsay Says:

    I don’t think I have ever learned in biology that there is a theory of animate beings evolving from rocks. I’m not sure what biology class you took in school!

  37. Christoball Says:

    I’m an Agnostic – the only group of people who aren’t to ignorant, stupid, or proud to admit that they don’t have an answer.

    I love how Christians, who believe the world is only 6000 years old and that their savior is a guy who can turn water into booze, are condemning and criticizing Scientologists for having crazy beliefs or taking advantage of followers.

    And the “Anonymous” group – don’t get me started on what a bunch of tools these people are. If you have to hide behind a cheesy mask from a movie just to participate in a protest, then chances are your cause is a crock of B.S. I personally think Scientology is a load of crap, but at least they’re not hiding their faces in shame.

    And let’s try replacing the captions with this:

    “I’m an Anti-Semite”

    “I’m a Nazi”

    “I’m a Jew”

    … not so funny anymore, is it?

    I’m going to paraphrase a quote when I say those who are completely effing ignorant of history are doomed to repeat it, and look really stupid in the process.

  38. John Says:

    Christoball:

    As awesome as you are for being agnostic, you are judgemental as shit, and I would prefer NOT to be like you. Then again, I am making a judgement about you so we’re even.

  39. Simo Says:

    Evereyone has some religion: atheist’s have to make huge theory’s if you want to explain all the crazy stuff in the world. I believe in some sort of intelligent design (I dont think of the bible as absolutely true) and I think that my believes are just as much a quess as the idea of multiverse or other ways to elpain things.

    sorry for the grammar problems if I had any, I don’t usually write on english :)

  40. Windrider Says:

    (…Man, StumbleUpon is a dangerous thing.)

    This might just be me being the eternal optimist, but I hope that there will come a day that those of a religious bent and those not can live together without screaming at each other.

    Athiesm fascinates me, mainly because nobody seems to agree what it is — religion, world view, scientific perspective, state of mind — and that makes it very hard to talk about without making people angry.

    Christianity is another fun one, mainly due to its many incarnations. With such a vast spectrum, its difficult to make absolute statements without defining your terms very, very carefully. The perspectives of a Roman Catholic will likely vary quite a bit from those of a Hutterite, yet they both fall under the moniker of “Christian”. Rightly so, but still, it makes for some interesting debates.

    I’ve always felt that religion is a way of feeding the soul. It gives comfort, purpose, and discipline to many, provides answers to some, and questions to most. Those who have a religion or faith that they ascribe to do so (I hope) with the intention of improving their lives and those of the people around them, using the ideas and teachings of others who thought about life’s questions before they got here.

    Extremism is a dangerous thing, with little… actually, I’d probably say no exceptions (let me know if you think of one). I’m guessing that’s the main point of this site — a look at the dangers of extremists, particularly Christian Fundamentalists. Just a thought, a humble opinion, but maybe we should try to define our terms.

    Then again, finding common ground in a definition of “Christian Fundamentalist” might be a tad difficult. Again, I appear to be the eternal optimist. :)

  41. buzzmanager Says:

    I’ve got two (4) words for you jerks:
    Manage Your Buzz!

  42. Myrshena Says:

    I may be wrong, but I think the main reason Scientology is condemned by so many is not so much their wacko beliefs but their extortionist methods. While Christianity does ask members for money it is not compulsory nor required for salvation. It is compulsory and required in Scientology. You can get “saved” if you don’t pay for the teaching in Scientology, and each level of enlightenment costs most than the previous one.

  43. Myrshena Says:

    Ooops, that should read “You CANNOT be “saved” if you don’t pay for the teaching.”

  44. Stephen Says:

    I don’t see Scientology being any more crazy than Christianity, or any other dogma. The only reason people got nuts about how crazy Scientology is is because most people have only heard about Scientology during adulthood, when they can give rational thought to ideas that are new to them.

    If a person heard about the ideas and rules of Christianity (invisible wizard in the sky who loves us but will torture us eternally if we don’t believe he’s there, talking snakes, 900 year old people, every animal in a boat…) during adulthood rather than childhood they’d be equally as sceptical about is as they are towards Scientology.

  45. J.R. "Bob" Dobbs Says:

    Fuck, I think ericsan is right. They must have been selling those computers reaaal cheap this year.

  46. Amber Says:

    We should be working to find one answer… one that is bold in it’s truthfulness and doesn’t require it’s people to follow blindly.
    We need togetherness… we are all of the same. Separation of any degree will just displace the answer longer. We need our most intelligent to study and critique and test…

  47. Bill in Detroit Says:

    @ Lindsay … the only problem with the big bang theory is that it leaves the same questions hanging as the “Let there be light” argument.

    You need a trigger event and you don’t have one. The theists do.

    Other than that, I’m with ya all the way, buddy.

    Stephen is wrong. He’s mixing the doctrines of a number of religions with the words that are actually in the Bible. They reaaaally don’t match up very well.

    Take, for instance, the observance of Christmas. Not in the Bible. The Jews didn’t observe birthdays … the pagans did. The “star” that led the astrologers (forbidden!) to Jesus’ birth place led Jesus’ enemy Herod there two years later, looking to kill him. Herod wanted Jesus dead so bad that he slaughtered all the young males in the hope that one of them was Jesus.

    You guys want to slam the Bible? Fine … but first, read it. If you come to the Bible as an adult, you’ll realize that most religions have no grounding for their deadly doctrines but that the Bible, itself, has a central theme that warrants closer attention.

  48. Padraig Caughey Says:

    If I choose to believe a comic book SF story was true I’d pick a better story line than the one dreamed up by the arch con man Ron Hubbard.

  49. pat Says:

    i am a christian. this was sent to me by an atheist. is it surprising neither of us are offended or feel misrepresented by this comic?

  50. Lilyana Says:

    @Bill in Detroit

    I have read the Bible as an adult. I even took an entire college course entitled “Early Christian Thought” which was a very thorough (and thoroughly difficult!) examination of the Bible and what it meant to the people back in the days when it was written. I have also looked at other religions. They all hold their own themes and groundings. I would posit that they all hold equal validity. Though, granted, I assign value to them in an anthropological and sociological sense, as opposed to a spiritual one.

    Actually, they are examining evidence that there was a universe before this one that collapsed upon itself. Then, in that volatile ultra-dense state it exploded outward i.e. the Big Bang. Sure we don’t know how the last universe got there, but then theists don’t know how the Creator came to exist either.

    @Donoi

    Please, please, please, for the benefit of everyone, figure out WTF macro-evolution is. Macro-evolution is the result of several micro-evolutions. Trying to acknowledge micro-evolution while disclaiming macro-evolution is, simply put, idiocy. Let’s look at this in terms of legos. Say you’ve got a lego mansion, and slowly you replace one piece after another, or maybe just add one, or maybe just take one away. Those little changes are micro-evolution. Eventually, you no longer have a mansion. With all those little changes you’ve finally built a castle or a Spanish villa or wtf ever it is you managed to cobble together over time. That’s macro-evolution.

    Also do us a favor and learn what carbon 13 and amino acids are. Those are the elements of life. Those have been mixed together in a lab that resulted in *fanfare* LIFE! Rocks are the elements of…rocks.

    Your comparison of the number of seconds in the universe to the number of ways a deck of cards can be arranged is a non-sequitur. I can only surmise what you are attempting to say is that there are far too many combinations of life for them to have formed within the number of seconds of the universe. However, that fails to account for several things. First, there are massive numbers of life on this planet all slowly mutating. When you have more than one organizer it sure makes things go considerably faster. Secondly, you seem to be trying to force it to account for every single possible combination that there could be possibly be for life. In reality, only a tiny fraction of the different possible combinations for life exist or have existed on our planet. To use your analogy, there may be
    806581751709438785716606368564040000000000000000000000000000000000
    ways to arrange the cards. But so far only 27 of those ways have been completed.

  51. OtherRob Says:

    The other flaw with Donoi’s argument is that it seems to posit only one “card player.” Sure there may be (very very large number) ways to arrange a deck of cards and only (a smaller very large number :)) seconds in the history of the universe. But when you have many many many “dealers” the chances of getting the right combination for something as unlikely as life are suddenly a whole lot better.

    And, of course, we don’t really know just how likely or unlikely life actually is. There be only a few “hands” that produce life or there may be many.

    Suddenly I have the urge to play poker for some reason. ;)

  52. Dan Says:

    Thomas,

    It is what it is. I agree with your thinking. We all have a life & belief. Accept everyones choice even though it doesn’t conform to yours. IT’S CALLED “FREEDOM”

  53. Anon Says:

    “Billy Says:
    December 25th, 2008 at 2:37 am

    This is one of the saddest things I’ve seen in a long time. Where’s the open-mindedness? Where’s the unity? It’s funny, the liberal left wingers are most guilty of what they accuse us of (Christians).

    Ron Britton Says:
    December 25th, 2008 at 3:02 am

    Billy:

    I see the Christian beating up the Scientologist too.”

    Bravo, Ron Britton. And Billy? Hate to break it to ya buddy, but you can be Christian AND a Liberal leftie. Politics and Religion are not the same thing. If you’re going to get so uppity and protective about your precious Christianity, maybe you should know a little more about it.

    Also, am I imagining it or do the guys in this comic look exactly like the PC and Mac guys from the commercial…?

  54. PowerLoader Says:

    God is over rated….

  55. Parrotlover77 Says:

    Holy crap! I leave for a week to visit the parents and BoF gets overloaded with trolls! ;-)

    Well, I just wanted to post that the above comic is absolute win.

    Sure, scientology is no more ridiculous than xtianity, but xtianity has to be silly — it’s a couple thousand years old. What seemed like great explanations back in the day seem silly now. Scientology, being like, what, 50 years old, should not seem nearly as silly! LRH should have learned from past religion’s mistakes.

    Or maybe I’m being too critical. Scientology is quite successful, afterall, despite all its goofiness.

  56. Ron Britton Says:

    Holy crap! I leave for a week to visit the parents and BoF gets overloaded with trolls!

    For some reason, this post got Stumbled Upon. I don’t understand why, because it isn’t original to this site. You’d think the original would have gotten the stumble instead. I guess it’s just a matter of being in the right place at the right time.

    What I don’t get is how a simple “everybody hates Scientology” comic can get everybody so riled up over unrelated issues.

  57. someone smarter then lindsay Says:

    Christians dont think what you think lindsay read the bible. maybe youll wake up and see the light. and gain some points in IQ. Your welcome.

  58. Ron Britton Says:

    Christians dont think what you think lindsay read the bible. maybe youll wake up and see the light. and gain some points in IQ. Your welcome.

    At least Lindsay is able to put together a grammatically-correct sentence.

  59. Brian Says:

    Scientology is a perfect example of human gullibility run amok. Since its inception was less than a lifetime ago, we can examine an accurate historical record to see how it has managed to bamboozle so many in such a short time. Sure, one must brave the immense wall of lawyers arrayed to defend the church against any criticism, perceived or otherwise, but that only begs the question: Why would a doctrine which is ostensibly the immutable truth of the universe need defending?

    Of course we all know the answer to that. I rather suspect that Christians who detest Scientology can grasp that simple concept, as well. Unfortunately, we and they part company when the same question is legitimately applied to Christianity. “Foul!” is cried, hypocrisy abounds, and the ignorant remain undeterred.

    It reminds me of the very wise adage about atheism: Once you understand why you reject all other religions but your own, you will understand why I reject yours as well. Also related is the saying, “You are an atheist as far as every other religion in the world is concerned. I just take it one god further.”

  60. Parrotlover77 Says:

    Why would a doctrine which is ostensibly the immutable truth of the universe need defending?

    The true answer is obvious to us, but to followers simple explanations are sufficient. For Christianity it’s always a dirty trick of the devil and for Scientology it’s the mass conspiracy of the Psychiatric profession.

  61. Brian Says:

    PL,

    I think you’ve touched on what is probably the most frustrating, hair-pulling thing about fundies – their ability to rationalize anything, no matter how inane or preposterous.

    As a rational exercise, I can understand why and how they try mightily to evade reality, even though my mind could never work like that without first having suffered some sort of brain trauma. But inevitably it becomes such a farce that, despite my long experience with people clinging to stupidity, I’m still sometimes taken aback. I can’t help but wonder what it is about a person that compels them to deny what ought to be obvious with only a cursory perusal of reason.

    I suppose there is something academically fascinating about the ways in which people believe things that are completely absurd that is worth investigating, but there is also something very tragic about so many members of our species having a virulent disdain for learning. It makes me wonder if we are capable of surviving ourselves.

  62. Lindsay Says:

    Christians dont think what you think lindsay read the bible. maybe youll wake up and see the light. and gain some points in IQ. Your welcome.

    Hehehe…I can’t say I’ve read the whole bible through and through but I’ve read a great deal of it. I feel in my own personal experience because I have seen the light…I am much happier and more comfortable with who I am now because I accepted that I just don’t have the belief. Oddly enough this came to me after taking religious studies classes at a large Jesuit university.

    My IQ points are just fine, I think it is you who needs the extra points to be able to read in context. Step away from the bible and just think…if your daughter/sister/niece etc tried to tell you they got pregnant AND they were a “virgin” you would find that awfully unbelievable, right? If someone told you a snake was talking to them, you would think they are schizophrenic, correct? I know it is probably hard to do as you’ve dedicated yourself to not question your faith and your bible, but I guarantee if something other than the bible tried to tell you those things were true you would think they are trying to pull the wool over your eyes.

    By the way…I don’t have anything to thank you for, so no need to “your welcome” me.

  63. Dennis Says:

    God has spoken and some of us listen. We can leave it, but we can’t leave it
    alone. It is all inside of us like a parent and a child. We can deny the parent
    but that doesn’t make it true.

  64. Ron Britton Says:

    Dennis:

    God has spoken and some of us listen. We can leave it, but we can’t leave it alone. It is all inside of us like a parent and a child. We can deny the parent but that doesn’t make it true.

    It’s just a comic strip about Scientology. Stop reading so much into it.

  65. Hawk in Cola Says:

    I think the biggest problem that we have here is that people are trying to prove this or that religion to be fake or silly. This is like trying to nail Jello to a tree (try it sometime).

    I am a Pagan. (Pagan is NOT “devil worship” for the record. According to the Standard College Dictionary, Pa-gan, n, 1. One who is neither a Christian, a Jew nor a Moslem; a heathen, 2. In early Christian use, an idol worshipper. 3. An irreligious person). I have seen people that I call “born again Pagans” and “born again Atheists”. These are people that try to convert others to their Pagan or non-religious ways.

    I have seen Christians use the Bible to argue their points and prove their points. I have seen Scientologists use LRH’s book to prove their points.

    Where the disconnect comes in within the human mind is how much stock do you place in the documents or books that are placed in front of you as “proof”.

    My brother and I were discussing this problem and he brought up a good example. He said, “If I believe with all my heart that an invisible orange creature standing behind me is my diety, there is nothing that you can say or do to prove me wrong.”

    I responded with “Yes I can, because the little purple creature behind me says you are.”

    Here is where the logic problem comes into play. If we BOTH believed the statements we made (and for the record, this was a HYPOTHETICAL discussion, neither of us truly believe in the orange or purple creatures) how can we BOTH be correct.

    It is simply a matter of perception. As a Pagan, I do not hold the Bible to be spiritually true. I have studied the teachings of Christ as I believe he had many wonderful lessons that someone could live their life by. I also know that there is a difference in the OLD and NEW Testaments. The OLD Testament is a mixture of fable and history. The NEW Testament is an accounting of the life and teachings of Christ as seen through other people’s eyes. I have had people try to tell me that the Bible is the “Word of God”. My issue there is that it was written by man, translated and edited by man, and continues to be used by man for their individual gain.

    I am NOT saying that all Christians are bad or any religion for that matter. It is simply that you either believe as someone else does or you don’t. God is a light that shines through many windows and touches our lives in different ways. I will never tell anyone that my religion is “right” or that theirs is “wrong”. I WILL say that my religion is right for me.

    What we need in this world is understanding of one another. NO ONE HAS ALL THE ANSWERS!!!!!! The sooner that we accept this, the sooner we will be able to grow as a race.

    As for the people that are looking at the universe and the “big bang theory”. With the super colliders of today, scientists have been able to create miniature “universes” and have a better understanding of how the universe was created. We know that the universe is expanding. One question that they are trying to answer currently is whether the universe is expanding faster than the gravitational force that holds it together. If it is, then the universe will eventually die due to temperatures in the universe reaching near absolute 0. If it is not, then eventually the universe will begin to contract and we will all be crushed into a point smaller than an atom. But do not fear, neither of these will happen for a long time. (Source for the Galaxy expansion answers is Hyperspace by Dr. Michio Kaku).

  66. Lilyana Says:

    @someone smarter then lindsay
    I believe the word you are searching for is “than.” A typo in a body of text is one thing but such a mistake in a name aimed at declaring intellectual superiority is quite a gaffe. As we say on “teh interwebs,” FAIL.

  67. BFDR68 Says:

    there is just one God and there is nobody else but God we should be afraid of

  68. Ron Britton Says:

    BFDR68:

    I fixed the strange typos you had in your comment. For some reason, your “o” key must have been intermittently failing. Twice your keyboard wrote “G-d”. I knew what you meant, so I fixed it! No need to thank me. It’s just another fine service I provide.

  69. Wownerdlers Says:

    This is fucked. You guys promote ideas that some stupid fucks are actually running with. Fuck your mother, there is an idea i am running with

  70. Ron Britton Says:

    Just don’t do it with scissors.

  71. Parrotlover77 Says:

    Thanks for removing btfckr68′s spammy link. That must have also been a strange typo.

  72. b Says:

    and lindsay (A FEMALE) doesnt like the idea of an all powerful god creating a woman out of a MANs rib, so she dejects any and all of the religion… thats not intelligance, thats subconcious (or even concious) hatred of men, or hatred of power.

  73. me Says:

    this is why i believe in the one and only supreme being, the flying spaghetti monster!! long live FSM! :)

  74. Lindsay Says:

    Eh, I don’t hate men. I like getting laid too much.

  75. Parrotlover77 Says:

    That must have been one huge rib or one small woman!

    More likely ancient misogynists didn’t like the idea that all human life seemed to spring forth from the female womb, so they had to make up an odd myth to explain how women actually came from men. Awesome!

  76. uneasy Says:

    Its just a comic. get over yourselves. All this bickering a clammering back and forth. Is this what intellectuals do with their spare time? Man. Get outside and enjoy some fresh air. Breathe man breathe!!

  77. Bob Says:

    I think what this comic strip shows is that all Christians are boring men wearing glasses, that all atheists are constantly masturbating and that nobody likes a Scientologists. If they do, they probably are one. If they like Scientologists and they aren’t one themselves, they don’t know what Scientology is and are probably a bit stupid.
    I think the ensuing comments show that I am better than every single one of you and that if you respond to this post with an angry shouty “God will smite you” or “I’m gonna beat you and fuck yo mom cos I don’t know how to pick my own nose” kind of post then you really are stupid and I hope you are removed from humanity’s gene pool by a fortunate accident.
    Remember, the Flying Spaghetti Monster forgives all for their sins. But only because He knows no better.

  78. poshpaws Says:

    It’s offensive, in a ” too shallow to be REALLY offensive” sort of way.

  79. Paint It Alive Says:

    I think it’s an interesting topic…in my opinion Scientology is ridiculous. But for arguments sake, few releigions were taken seriously when they began…the Romans despised early Christians, for instance. I think the bible was written as a moral and ethical book of fables, to guide people into being civil…religion also offers reassurence..everyone in some way wants to be reassured. I don’t think I believe in god. I pray sometimes. Halfheartedly. Sometimes I wish I COULD believe that if I were good, a God or someone would save me from it all. Then again…has anyone seen Bill Maher’s Religulous? If I did believe that, I think in ways I wouldn’t be proactive in m own life. Much of what I’ve overcome, has been on my own, through what I’ve worked for. I don’t think that would have been acomplished if I believed it were already mapped out, there was nothing I could do, or that a supreme being would overtake it all and save me…no…I think atheism can spurn self-help, and by my never learning to believe in god, I’ve come to believe in the power of people, myself, and what the world can accomplish. Lol idk. I can see both sides easily. There’s no way to prove that any religion is true or not. I think religion is within oneself. I think I worship what I have the power to do, No god has brought me out from a pickle…but I have. Then there are those that say, well, God enabled you to fend for yourself. I don’t know. I don’t want to. I want to keep philosophying. Can anyone get back to me? I love to disscuss this, it’s so interesting. Lol I’m the only kid my know who likes this stuff, but it’s interesting, dn’t you think? thanks

  80. tuetis Says:

    I am a Christian, and I think it is hilarious that Atheists hate Christians just because our simple little minds can’t comprehend certain things. They repel what they themselves cannot understand. It’s like saying “because I don’t understand what Einstein said, obviously he was wrong and foolish.”

  81. freddies_dead Says:

    You’re absolutely right tuetis, advocating Christianity is exactly like saying because I don’t understand what Einstein said, obviously he was wrong and foolish.”

  82. Parrotlover77 Says:

    I did a double-take on that tuetis post.

  83. Lindsay Says:

    PL77, I believe tuetis gave us a fine example of irony.

  84. Sarah Says:

    Hot damn where are the lulz, guys? I swear, this is almost as bad as the 200-? page Edward Cullen board on AskaNinjaFans (facepalm)

    To fundies of all faiths: Stop taking the post out of context. Please direct any comments on evolution, politics, morality, etc to the correct topics.

    Thank you and have a wonderful day. ^w^

  85. Derricia Says:

    The difference between Christianity’s “crazy” beliefs and the crazy shit we hear about scientology is the fact that atleast some of the stuff in Christianity has been proven. there was such a thing as the holy grail and it is proven that Jesus was a real man. i dont see the proof of aliens coming to Earth and injecting their souls into human bodies. Some Christians may argue that it is our soul that makes us human and others argue its our intellect. Either way, even if some big guy in the sky or matter coming out of nothing (big bang: which violates the Conservation of mass law) or that all the mass was in a tiny ball and expanded (which also hasnt been proven to be possible) WHATEVER! No other religion can critisize another one. People who argue about the branches of Christianity are just dumb. You are not considering the Christians who do not place themselves into a category but are merely christians. This is arguement that will never end and even so called atheists have their very own set of beliefs (or if you want to say religion) They need their beliefs for confort and to be honest i think some people become atheists for attention.. just to be “different”

    I personally think that Jews are kind of retarded. You believe in the first half of the Bible but not the second? Thats like saying half of a person exists and you refuse to acknowledge the other half (stupid metephor) doesnt really make sense..

    everyone is entitled to their opinion but in reality no one has room to judge.. and come on guys it was a JOKE!

  86. Parrotlover77 Says:

    Derricia – Well, L. Ron was a real man. And who knows, maybe out there in the vastness of the universe there’s an alien dude named Xenu.

    As for Jesus… Certainly there was a dude around that time period named Jesus (it was a common name). And there is a good chance there was a real dude named Jesus that was crucified and he might have even had diciples and followers in his own new little cult.

    But did all the myths ascribed to the mythical Jesus as described in the gospels really happen to a real dude named Jesus? Ehhh, not likely.

    My point: there’s about equal ‘evidence’ of factuality for both religions.

    Oh lord, please save me from your followers… I think that when anybody invokes one of the Conservation laws to prove a prevailing scientific theory is not possible in an internet forum, it should be a form of Godwin’s Law.

    And the last little anti-semitic part? You clearly Poed out on that one. Wow, that was some seriously offensive massive racist ignorance.

  87. Lindsay Says:

    LMAO…the first five books of the Old Testament (Torah) are much, much older than the New Testament. And remember Derricia…Jesus was a Jew, so you basically called your “savior” a ‘tard. Nice!

  88. Sabrina Says:

    Cute cartoon, I love those guys! Great commentary on religious views and tolerance.

    Fascinating discussion, I got here through “Stumble Upon.” Thank you for the information, and all of the comments have been very interesting. I came across the following link regarding the Origins of Scientology (the Campbell-Hubbard bet), it’s quite interesting as well!
    http://www.skepticfiles.org/skeptic/scient4d.htm

    BTW how about, we are all “children of God,” we are all “God,” everything (the Universe) is “God.” I believe in ‘The Secret’ and ‘What the Bleep Do We Know?’

  89. Mike Says:

    Hey, religious people- wake up…none of you are right. There is no God. If there were a God, he/she would not expect people to worship him, sacrifice for him, kill for him, pray to him, etc…since he/she would be all powerful and our emotions would mean nothing.

    Get on with your lives- be good people because you love each other and want to be good people and live good lives. Live for today- there is no afterlife.

  90. CHUCKFINALE Says:

    Come on! Leave the “rebranded mormonology” alone! at least they never had a crusade or told Africans not to wear condoms.

  91. Syldoran Says:

    Ow.

    I think I broke my brain reading all these comments–not because I just read 90+ comments in one sitting, because I’ve done worse, but because it amazes me how many Christian folks have found it necessary to stumble along over here and voice their loud opinions.

    I bet I could show this to a couple of Christian friends and they’d laugh their asses off. It’s like these guys are trying to be offended. If anything, we’re insult Scientologists more with this comic, yet I haven’t seen one of them come along and be pissed.

    Jesus. (Oh, wait, my bad. I seem to have used the lord’s name in vain or some shiznit. JESUS CHRIST WHAT HAVE I DONE.)

  92. zee Says:

    have any of the camps in this idiotic debate heard of a concept called “metaphor”???

  93. Lake Says:

    I dislike the fanatics on both sides. The one that makes Christians look stupid, and ignorant, and the one that makes Athiests look like pompus snobs who have no knowledge of either science or religion. Personally, I think the main problems Athiest are having (besides a lot of them being just hateful and close minded in general on the internet) with Christianity is creation, Evolution, and Jesus doing miracles, his birth ect. I have waited to tell you this because of everyones bias, I am a Christian, I hope you will be objective, and not just an asswipe.

  94. Lake Says:

    @CHUCKFINALE—–Screw catholics

  95. Parrotlover77 Says:

    Well. If…

    Personally, I think the main problems Athiest are having (besides a lot of them being just hateful and close minded in general on the internet)

    And you were hoping…

    …I am a Christian, I hope you will be objective, and not just an asswipe.

    Then…
    Fuck off.

    That said, the statement of, “I dislike the fanatics on both sides” reminds me a lot of the political debate where the precious middle road is fawned over by the media because they are able to balance in the middle of voting for candidates who will anally rape their civil rights and those who will anally rape their savings accounts. In other words, they are middle road because they vote Republican or blue dog Democrat. (Is there a difference?)

    Bad metaphors aside, I wish people would cite examples of the big meanie atheists. I have yet to see anything particularly egregious. I’m not saying it doesn’t exist, but we have well known religious leaders like Pat Robertson blaming the Hatian earthquake on the Hatians not kissing his God’s ass enough (true story), whereas we have P.Z. Meyers driving a nail through a stale piece of bread.

    You tell me which is worse.

  96. Jeff Eyges Says:

    ad metaphors aside, I wish people would cite examples of the big meanie atheists. I have yet to see anything particularly egregious. I’m not saying it doesn’t exist, but we have well known religious leaders like Pat Robertson blaming the Hatian earthquake on the Hatians not kissing his God’s ass enough (true story), whereas we have P.Z. Meyers driving a nail through a stale piece of bread.

    In addition – and no one ever mentions this – there seem to be a hell of a lot more batshit insane religionists than there are batshit insane atheists.

    (Two things:

    1. Why do they insist upon spelling it “athiest”? Don’t all browsers have spell-checkers now?

    2. He did capitalize it, though. Does that make us a religion?)