Even When Side by Side on Their Own Website, They Can’t See It

Fundies were created by the Large Hadron Collider!

Pick the statement that best answers the following:

Question: Just how dense are fundies?

A. So dense they affect nearby atomic clocks.

B. So dense they can stop a neutrino.

C. So dense they have an event horizon.

D. All of the above.


The answer, of course, is E: Darwin = Hitler.

For proof of this, let’s take a look at OneNewsNow. In “Pastors’ Political Endorsements Draw Complaints”, published on Sept. 30, they write:

Americans United for Separation of Church and State has filed complaints with the Internal Revenue Service against six churches whose pastors either endorsed or made pointed comments about political candidates from their pulpits Sunday in defiance of federal tax law.

This is in reference to “The Pulpit Initiative”. The fundies are no longer satisfied with merely gorging at the public trough. Now they also want to have a say in who carries the swill.

As things stand now, churches are tax exempt. I guess the logic is that it was a way of ensuring the separation of church and state. The problem is that a tax exemption is actually a subsidy. Churches use government services. They get the same police and fire protection, are serviced by the same roads, and are protected by the same military as the rest of us. That means that we’re paying for their share. They’re freeloaders on the system. It’s a pretty good deal, if you can get it. You’d think they wouldn’t want to do anything to jeopardize the gravy train.

Since they’re considered non-profit organizations, they have to abide by the same rules as all other non-profits. That means: No involvement in politics! The government has wisely decided that we shouldn’t be subsidizing groups that are trying to influence government. If you want to be politically active, do it on your dime, not ours.

A fundie group called the Alliance Defense Fund somehow thinks that they deserve to get your money (via tax exemption) to promote John McCain. They are prompting pastors to politic from the pulpit. The OneNewsNow article says:

The Alliance Defense Fund orchestrated the pulpit protest to invite IRS scrutiny and a legal fight it hopes will lead to the restrictions being found unconstitutional.

You would think that fundies would be happy to have that government largesse in exchange for not promoting one candidate over another. After all, what if some religion they don’t like started promoting some candidate they can’t stand?

Enter Exhibit B, also published by OneNewsNow, just a few days later: “Pro-Obama, Muslim-Led Voter Registration in Mosques”.

A leading critic of Islam isn’t surprised there has been virtually no coverage or action taken against a Muslim group that has been running an illegal “get out the vote” campaign in swing-state mosques.

Goose, meet gander.

The group, Muslim Americans for Obama [MAFO], insists that all of its voter registration activity is non-partisan, despite the fact that its mission statement says it was launched in August 2008 “to provide a vehicle for Muslim-American supporters of Barack Obama to organize and mobilize our fellow citizens to get out the vote to elect Barack Obama the next president of the United States.”

If you open a door, there’s no telling who might walk through. So tell me, fundies: Do you still think that Jefferson’s “wall of separation” doesn’t really exist in the Constitution? Think before you answer!

Robert Spencer is director of Jihad Watch,

OK, you can watch a toad, if you want

a project of the David Horowitz Freedom Center. He argues MAFO may be skirting the law. “When they are running these voter registration drives at mosques, really it’s essentially illegal because they are clearly trying to get people to vote for Obama — and that’s in violation of their tax-exempt status,” Spencer charges. “So this is a group that is crossing the line and ought to be disciplined as such.”

Then you’d better discipline them quick. The Alliance Defense Fund is trying to make it legal!

Spencer contends that if a group called “Christians for John McCain” claimed to be non-partisan and ran a registration drive in churches, it would be all over the media and create a huge scandal and embarrassment for the McCain campaign.

Sorry, Spencer. You got its name wrong. It’s called the Alliance Defense Fund.

So what happens when two mutually-contradictory concepts occupy the same space? We need only look at OneNewsNow for the answer. Their motto must be “The neutrino stops here.”


Postscript: What has gone unsaid in the OneNewsNow article is the real reason the fundies are in such a snit. This incident implies that Obama must be Muslim. Why else would the Muslims be trying to get him elected? I guess those millions of Protestants who voted for John F. Kennedy in 1960 were secretly Catholic.

17 Responses to “Even When Side by Side on Their Own Website, They Can’t See It”

  1. thoughtcounts Z Says:

    “Why else would the Muslims be trying to get him elected?” Heh. Couldn’t possibly be that the opposing campaign has been using the word “Muslim” like an insult.

  2. Rogi Says:

    Could it be that that Obama is the Hidden Imam and not the Messiah the McCain campaign has been calling him. Then again, i doubt any of the fundies know who the Hidden Imam is, or the basic differences between Shia and Sunni Muslims. To those who seek conformity to their beliefs, all atheists, Muslims, and liberals are painted with a broad stroke — hellbent.

  3. Thomas Says:

    I’m really amazed that most fundies haven’t noticed how much politics, and their involvement in it, has poisoned their own faith.

    Freedom of religion was concocted to keep government from influencing faith. In order to achieve this, the reciprocal must therefore also be true.

    Religious involvement in government distracts from worship, curtails charity and gives a decidedly unholy bent to the practice of faith but, of course, no one in the moral majority seems to want to mention that.

    “When politics and religion ride in the same cart the whirlwind follows” -Frank Herbert.

  4. Parrotlover77 Says:

    Ron, the thing is they don’t see Islam as a real religion. From their viewpoint, this is not hypocritical because They Are Right™ and the muslims Are Not™. Muslims are just evil terrorists, atheists are Darwin-worshipping heathens, and Scientologists are hollywood actors. They, however, see themselves as righteous purveyors of The One Truth™.

    If Mosques were not tax exempt for some reason, they would STILL complain about the ebil mooslims conspiring to steal the election.

    OnionNewsNow is always good for a laugh.

  5. LadyRavana Says:

    While I was reading about the tax-exempt status of the churches, I thought of the old adage “Give an inch and they’ll take a mile.” It’s not enough that we’ve made plenty of concessions for Fundies, oh no. They want the WHOLE pie.

    And I just remembered one of my favorite sayings: “The last time we mixed politics with religion, people got burned at the stake.”

    God, I love OneNutNow. They’re as hilarious as they are frightening. XD!

  6. Masfina Says:

    I laughed at the reference to Happy Jihad’s House of Pancakes. Long live Bing McGhandi.

  7. Troy Says:

    I like your comment that not taxing churches is actually a subsidy; I had never thought of that before. Yes, all non-profits should be taxed. For example a block of churches can kill a tax base. Every little denomination has to have their own piece of real estate. For one reason I’d say it keeps them honest. If they have to pay taxes they must get sincere support. Another issue is how churches elevate the costs of energy for the poor (and the rest of us.) Case in point, the vaulted ceiling of a church can cost thousands of dollars to heat each month. Since they increase demand we all end up paying more.

  8. Parrotlover77 Says:

    I don’t know about taxing non-profits. That seems extreme — churches included. The system we have is flawed, but a drastic change like that would be met with hostility that won’t help our cause and will certainly have a lot of collateral damage to good honest charities.

    I think enforcing the existing laws (such as removing tax exempt status when getting political from the pulpit) is good enough in this case. In addition, it might be good to crack down more on the MegaChurches that are only “non-profit” on paper. For example, extraordinarily large paychecks, non-religious structures on premises (gyms, swimming pools, and so on), fancy cars bought under the church’s name, revenue exceeding a certain amount (say, a million) with an unusually small percentage going towards actual charity work, etc., etc.

  9. Parrotlover77 Says:

    Oh I agree about the energy cost, btw. Have an allowance for the energy use on their plot of land and if they exceed that due to unnecessary architecture (vaulted ceilings), they pay taxes on their energy.

    Have you seen those churches that rent out a little space in industrial buildings? That’s WJWD. Low cost, they get their god on, nothing fancy. Ridiculously fancy churches really miss the whole “point” of Christianity, at least according to their precious bibley — certainly not according to history.

  10. Sue Blue Says:

    Fundies are a real one-note symphony. They’ll keep on hitting that screaming high C (Obama Hussein Barack’s A MUSLIM!!!!!!!!), no matter how many times every one else rolls their eyes and plugs their ears. Obama could rise from the dead with holes in his hands and feet, with Jebus slapping him on the back and calling him “goodbuddy”, and the stoopids would still claim he’s a closet Muslim, because that’s the groove they’re stuck in, the only string left on their guitar. And of course, it’s just because they can’t say the “N” word. “Muslim” is just code.

  11. LadyRavana Says:


    Your post made me think of a quote from Stigmata: “The Kingdom of God is inside you and all around you, not in mansions of wood and stone. Split a piece of wood and I am there. Lift a stone and you will find me.”

    I may by no means be religious…but, I wish that they’d take a sentiment like this to heart. After all, according to Christians, isn’t God everywhere? He doesn’t just exist in the church, right?

    But of course, they like to justify it by saying the higher the steeple, the closer to Gawd, I’m sure.

    It’s kind of a shame, because I will admit that I’ve always loved the beautiful Gothic architecture on some of the really old Catholic churches. But…since those beautiful Catholic churches are tax-exempt, and thus the rest of us have to foot the bill while they get a free ride…I suppose I should look at them in a different light.

    But yeah, it would be nice that if the churches MUST get involved in politics, they should have to pay to get in. They shouldn’t get a free ride.

  12. LadyRavana Says:

    Fundies are a real one-note symphony. They’ll keep on hitting that screaming high C (Obama Hussein Barack’s A MUSLIM!!!!!!!!), no matter how many times every one else rolls their eyes and plugs their ears. Obama could rise from the dead with holes in his hands and feet, with Jebus slapping him on the back and calling him “goodbuddy”, and the stoopids would still claim he’s a closet Muslim, because that’s the groove they’re stuck in, the only string left on their guitar. And of course, it’s just because they can’t say the “N” word. “Muslim” is just code.

    Sue Blue-Earlier tonight, I saw a videoclip of a bunch of McCain supporters taking to the streets yelling things like “BOO Obama! Obama’s a Muslim! Obama’s a Muslim!” And shouting other things. I just stared and cringed.

    The stupid. It’s painful. I honestly can’t understand how McCain would want to be associated with those lunatics, but then, I must remember, the lunatics make up a good percentage of his base.

    I’ve also noted that any time McCain says something “positive” about Obama in front of the cameras, I swear I can practically see him gritting his teeth. It’s almost funny.

  13. Sue Blue Says:

    LR – You’re right on about McCain. Today, when he corrected the Wal-Mart shopper who got up and called Obama an Arab, he looked like he was having a painful attack of gas. I doubt that his conscience was seriously perturbed by the ignorant hatred of his loony followers – I think some of his slightly more intelligent advisors told him that he had to look more “Presidential” – you know, like showing a shred of human decency and respect, instead of just acting like an old crap-flinging monkey at a zoo.

    Republicans at work

  14. Sue Blue Says:

    LOL!! Love the edit to my post – where do you get these pictures? I want this on a T-shirt – I bet I could sell it to those truculent Repubs coming out of a McCain rally. They’d probably wear it as some sort of perverse point of pride, sort of like certain southern folks with their Confederate flags.

  15. Ron Britton Says:

    Sue Blue:

    The original said monkeys. I modified it to say Republicans. Maybe I should open up a Cafe Press store.

  16. Parrotlover77 Says:

    Ron – Yes, you should! Every once in a while I put a funny in cafepress and make a few cents. I’m not sure it’s worth it considering the time invested versus profit returned, but what the heck. http://www.cafepress.com/bigoil

  17. Parrotlover77 Says:

    (yes, that was a shameless plug) 😉