Adam and Who?

Adam, Steve, and Homer

A popular chant among the bigoted is “God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve!”

Actually, I beg to disagree. God did create Adam and Steve.

According to the myth, God removed one of Adam’s ribs to create Eve. Why was this necessary? He was able to create Adam out of dirt. What’s wrong? Was the Hoover now empty? Why couldn’t he just zap up another dust bunny and turn it into Adam’s mate?

If God created another human being out of tissue removed from Adam, then clearly this new person is a clone of Adam! The new guy is a guy! The Bible is mute on this person’s name, but the fundies seem quite happy to have already named him Steve!

Then God would have changed Steve into a woman. That’s right! Eve was the world’s first transsexual! And what’s more, Eve is related to Adam, so God is promoting incest right out the gate!

One of those whispered questions that a lot of fundies don’t want asked, let alone answered, is where Cain’s and Abel’s wives came from. Well, maybe they evolved. What? You don’t like that answer? OK, then, Cain and Abel married their sisters. Why wouldn’t they? Their father married his own clone in the world’s first homosexual marriage.

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