Is Chocolate Jesus Spongeworthy?
Brian sent me a link to an article at Cracked: “7 Things From Pop Culture That Apparently Piss Jesus Off”. It lists seven benign things that have nevertheless upset the fundies.
The list includes Starbucks, Dr. Who, Coca-Cola, a Wisconsin public school, and of course, Harry Potter.
Also included on that list was that most fabulous of sponges and a chocolate Jesus (see above).
I had the naive idea that I would just do a fast Google image search for a suitable Spongebob that I could composite with the Jesus to make the picture you see above. I found more. So much more that it rocked me to my core.
I had no idea that the radical cartoon-wing agenda to sexualize our children is more widespread than any of us previously believed. If you doubt me, read this exposé:
I have even uncovered evidence that Spongebob’s whole gay act is nothing more than a front. He is actually a very hetero sponge. Exhibit A:
In fact, he has that most enviable of all heterosexual jobs: the gigolo! He provides a very intimate service for women:
Here is a diagram of him at work:
But now that I’ve blown his cover, he has issued denials worldwide. Here’s one from Ecuador:
Unfortunately, the denials weren’t enough. Spongebob has been caught on numerous occasions by jealous husbands and boyfriends and suitably dealt with. Although some people can carry a toon, apparently nobody can kill one.