Plan Nine from Shirley and Squirrely
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This is one of those rare off-topic posts. I’m boggled by something that defies all rational comprehension. I guess since this blog deals with the effects of the irrational among us, it is somewhat on-topic.
I was poring over some search engine data, trying to figure out what is luring people to this site. It’s never what I think it is. I write some great articles, and they’re almost completely ignored. Then I write some stupid easy post that takes me five whole minutes and has no real social value, and that’s what everybody comes for.
I might write more later about some of the other weird stuff in that data. Today I’d like to focus on just one weird thing. Over the last month, I have received visits from 16 different people. These are the search terms they used to find my blog:
- hey shirley this is squirrely
- hey shirley this is squirrely lyrics
- hey shirley this is squirrely mp3
- Hey Shirley (This Is Squirrely) mp3
- hey shirley this is squirrely do you have your ears on
- squirrely and shirley cb radio mp3
- cb radio songs hey shirley this is squirrely
- mp3 downloads shirley and squirrely
- Shirley Squirrely and Melvin
- SHIRLEY,SQUIRRELY,AND MELVIN MUSIC TO DOWNLOAD
To those 16 people, and those who follow, I have one question:
wrong with you?
Most art can be categorized into one of four groups:
- So bad it’s good
- So bad it’s still bad
Let me give you some examples:
|So Bad It’s Good||So Bad It’s Bad|
|Plan 9 from Outer Space||Fire Maidens from Outer Space|
|Buck Rogers (movie serial)||Buck Rogers (TV show)|
|Charlie the Hamster||Shirley and Squirrely|
I only titled this post the way I did, because “Fire Maidens from Shirley and Squirrely” doesn’t have the same recognition factor. Most people haven’t seen Fire Maidens from Outer Space. Those who have probably saw it on MST3K. Wimp! Pussy! You have no claim to the title “Have seen the worst movie of all time” until you have seen it the way it was meant to be seen: completely unadorned by funny commentary. You must watch it straight! Only then (if you survive) can you truly understand what bad is. Only then can you comprehend what it must be like to be incarcerated at Gitmo.
But if Fire Maidens isn’t available, you can always listen to Shirley and Squirrely.
The original CB radio song that I featured in earlier posts is So Bad It’s Bad, but even that is not as bad as their “live” album. You could make a case that the CB song has a certain goofy charm that elevates it into the So Bad It’s Good category. I would disagree with you, but I could at least recognize the elements within the song that almost make it listenable. The live album has no such charm.
Nonetheless, It took me a while to find these mp3s. I’m not going to waste all that effort just because they’re worse than I thought. I had to suffer through these things, so you do too. I’ll spare you the worst of it, though. The songs that follow are the actually the “best” ones on the album.
Let’s start with “Blue Suede Shoes”. I’ve heard some bad Elvis impersonators before, and this rivals the worst of them.
Next, let’s cue up “The Gambler”. What’s weird about this one is they bring in a normal guy to sing a mediocre version of the Kenny Rogers song, and the squirrels only provide high-pitched backup and sound effects. Listen for the squirrel guzzling the booze and taking a long drag on a cigarette.
That last song typifies what’s wrong with this album. They seem to have forgotten that they’re making a novelty record. They’ve gotten it into their heads that they’re making real music here. This is the sort of project that jumps the shark as soon as they start taking themselves too seriously.
Now that the squirrels have destroyed Elvis Presley and Kenny Rogers, let’s give them a chance to ruin the Beatles:
Clearly, Mark David Chapman shot the wrong singer.
Let’s finish with “Mercedes Benz”:
Roll, Janis, roll!!