The Brow Ridge Hour

Car insurance is too complicated. He's watching DJK!

We’ve looked at The Coral Ridge Hour before. The program seems to encapsulate fundiedom more than many other pray-TV shows, so we’ll probably examine a few more of them in the months ahead.

The Coral Ridge Hour stars now-wormfood D. James Kennedy (DJK), who was one of the more extreme fundies. He’s the guy who gave us Darwin’s Deadly Legacy, which blamed Nazism on Darwin. Just like L. Ron Hubbard is still writing books years after his death, DJK is still making TV shows. His ministry is taking old sermons and packaging them into new shows. The shows consist of a 15-minute DJK rerun, then a 10-minute newsmagazine-style exposé of some horrible affront to Christianity (usually atheism or evolution).

Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

The show opens with DJK’s daughter, Jennifer Kennedy Cassidy, who knows a cushy job sponging off of her father’s legacy when she sees one. She says:

[M]y dad realized early on that science had been hijacked by unproven atheistic philosophy. In this timely message, he shows how all of creation cries out the truth that in the beginning God created the heavens and the Earth.

We then cut to old footage of DJK. This sermon is called “Fearfully and Wonderfully Made”. He says he wants to tell us about a scientific discovery so monumental that it rivals all of the great discoveries of the past, yet almost nobody has heard of it! Suppression! It must be suppression! I’ll bet those evil atheistic scientists who run the liberal media are to blame! Thankfully, we have DJK to tell us the story:

But something happened on the way to the 20th century. And that is the entire scientific enterprise was hijacked in the middle of the 19th. Of course, I am referring to Darwin’s theory of evolution. And the whole scientific enterprise has been hijacked into a naturalistic or materialistic view of the world. “Naturalism” means there’s nothing in the universe but nature; there’s nothing supernatural. “Materialism” believes that there’s nothing in the world but matter.

He then tells us that some of the recent discoveries in molecular biology are astounding. He tells us that Michael Behe has made some amazing discoveries. He then parrots a bunch of Behe’s irreducible complexity nonsense. Therefore, molecular biology proves God’s existence!

Here’s a question for the Discovery Institute, Access Research Network, or any of those other “academic freedom fighters” out there: If “intelligent design” isn’t religious and isn’t creationism, then why is a religious guy (DJK) using it to “prove” creation?

Freedom to Impose Religion

After DJK’s forgettable sermon, they next show us a video report about Darwin’s thugs (the ACLU) and the Dover creationism trial.

Dr. Norman Geisler, author of Creation and the Courts, starts us off:

Evolution is the kingpin of atheism. If evolution is disproven, atheism is disproven, cuz they don’t have any other explanation.

According to Dr. Geisler, atheists apparently know that there is a god, but as long as they have evolution to cling to, they don’t have to admit that. It’s a good thing I have Dr. Geisler here to tell me what I believe.

Frank Manion (some shyster stooge from Pat Robertson’s anti-ACLU group called American Center for Law and Justice) says:

[The Dover school board] didn’t mandate the teaching of intelligent design in biology class. What they said was there are criticisms of evolution from a scientific standpoint, one of which is something called intelligent design…

BUZZZZZZ!!!! Loser!! Oh, Manion contradicts himself in the same sentence! What a moron! Intelligent Design isn’t science. It’s not even scientific! It’s entirely religious, with a thin veneer of scientific buzzwords painted on.

…and if you’d like to read more about this, there’s a book in the library that we have provided that you can read.

Yes, the book was Of Pandas and People a religious creationism book. God damn these people are stupid! I guess when they only talk among themselves, nobody notices. Does a town consisting entirely of morons have a village idiot?

Next, we get to listen to Dr. George Grant, author of Trial and Error: The American Civil Liberties Union and Its Impact on Your Family:

The ACLU has a stake in the argument over Darwinism, simply because the ACLU has a very distinctive religious and political agenda, rooted in a revolutionary worldview that comes from Darwinism. The whole intent of the ACLU is to change our society, to make it into something new, something that the old Christian foundations of America could never allow.

Cool! A secret agenda! I bet they’re all Freemasons, too!

Finally, they give us [M]Ann Coulter. As if this program didn’t lack enough credibility:

Einstein would not be allowed to teach in a school today, because he referred to God.

Two things are wrong with this sentence. The first is that old lie that Einstein was a theist, at least in the sense that fundies understand it. This has been debunked. Second, notice how [s]he’s implying that the mere belief in God is enough to disqualify somebody from teaching. That’s a massive persecution complex [s]he has there.

To have, you know, these hacks like Eugenie Scott come in and say “Oh that’s not real science. Unless you keep God out, it’s not real science.” It’s preposterous.

What’s preposterous is to have a hack like Ann Coulter pass judgment on Eugenie Scott’s credentials. That’s like Charlie the Hamster saying Luciano Pavarotti can’t sing.

20 Responses to “The Brow Ridge Hour”

  1. Blaidd Drwg Says:

    Does a town consisting entirely of morons have a village idiot?

    Of course they have a villiage idiot, it’s just that they all take turns…

  2. Parrotlover77 Says:

    Dragging the ACLU into this is a bit like blaming the weatherman for the weather. The ACLU has an agenda, certainly, but it has NOTHING to do with a New World Order(TM). It’s simply protecting civil liberties from Big Government (also TM). The ACLU would as quickly jump to defend a Christian against religious oppression by a secular government as they defend an Atheist from a religiously dominated government. It really pisses me off that the ACLU’s mission gets polluted by jerks like this.

  3. Parrotlover77 Says:

    Okay, this Parsons character is obviously spam, but the line “The atom has been compared to a miniature sun-earth system…” just made me literally laugh out loud! WOW. I haven’t heard that analogy since grade school. Whew… Good times, good times…

  4. Lindsay Says:

    I find it interesting going to catechism that there was hardly a mention of the creation story in genesis. It was never taught as “the truth”…to be honest it was fairly well ignored (and I went to a church in the Lincoln Diocese, arguably one of the most fundie Catholic diocese in the nation). You know something is up with the story if even the Catholics hem and haw around it.

    I really don’t understand why they cling to the creation story (and other stories) in the bible so much. Why is it so difficult to acknowledge that it is merely a story and that you can derive some sort of moral out of it (if you so wish). If they wanted to they could even chalk up evolution as to being part of “god’s plan.”

    Answering my own question, I suppose I was taught to think for myself. Hell, even the Jesuits at my university told me to think about it myself and come to my own conclusions. Perhaps for a certain group of people it takes away the gray areas and gives them something concrete/black and white to understand…basically simplifying life for them so they don’t have to do much other than to follow. For others (Pat Robertson, James Dobson types) it is likely more of a power play…people listen to their interpetations/sermons and follow them. God complex perhaps?

    However, the one hope I have is that right now they seem to be scared…very scared. Otherwise why would they be raising such a stink?

  5. Lindsay Says:

    In order for this to occur, “Bohr calculated that the electron must move at a speed of no less than seven million billion rotations per second.” Ummmm, “numerous electrons darting about, dodging one another at breakneck speeds would necessarily require the supernatural.

    Or not necessarily require the supernatural. I will be the first to say that I’m not up on my science, but just because we cannot explain something at this moment does not make it “supernatural.” It is just a function that we do not fully understand.

  6. Barbara Says:

    OMFG, I LOVE David Parsons, the “Scientist Extraordinaire” who only has one year of post high-school education and attempted to get every high school in the US to replace their science textbooks with his biblical based load of smelly crap.

    Love the pic of you and your mom on your website too, Dave!!!

  7. Lindsay Says:

    LOL…I went to the website just to find that pic Barbara. I’m trying to decide if that is indeed a rug on his head. If so it looks he has had a toupee since the halycon day of college.

    I wonder if he’ll ever publish a book for Classics 101, which would include Oedipus Rex. It looks as if he would very much identify with that play.

  8. Ron Britton Says:

    I’ve already deleted the spam, but I had to go check out the picture. You guys are right. It’s beyond words. For the amusement of the rest of you, here’s the photo. I’m not sure if it’s of spammer C. David Parsons and his… ummm… wife(?) or Norman Bates and Mother.

    Spammer and mother

  9. Brian Says:

    I want anyone who might feel the urge to pray for me to find Jesus to hear me loud and clear: if being “saved” means spending eternity on my knees in blind worship to a being that does not deserve it while surounded by creepy douchebags like those in the picture, I willingly choose Hell, thank you.

    Christopher Hitchens described Heaven as a sort of celestial North Korea in which the Dear Leader must always be the object of praise and worship. He went on to add that at least in North Korea “you can fucking die”, thus escaping your sorry life once and for all, while in Heaven the fun is eternal.

    So, if you are the sort to sadly shake your head, morose because I’ll never know the “joy” you feel as a Christian, perhaps even tempted to pray to god to help me come around, please realize that there is not one single aspect of Christianity I find remotely appealing, excepting perhaps the fact that it is not Islam. I do, however, remain thankful that Christianity’s vile, demeaning facets are easily outweighed by its sheer absurdity, rendering the specter of one day sharing a place with Jesus in the sky a moot point.

  10. Steve Says:

    Here’s a radio interview featurning Parsons. Talk about funny! Comes with canned laughter, zingers, and other sound effects. Of course, the correspondents were just trying to be campy. Still a very funny and interesting interview.

    http://theedgeam.com/podcast2/media/2008-07-28_spiritually_speaking_27th_july_2008.mp3

  11. LadyRavana Says:

    Huh. I’ve heard of the Coral Ridge Hour. I didn’t know it was a fundie show.

    Thanks for the heads up. I’m going to continue not watching.

  12. Sue Blue Says:

    Holy shit! If I ran out of gas in the middle of the desert and those two came by and offered me a ride, I’d expect to be killed and turned into Mom’s Meat Treats by nightfall. What is it about these people that make my skin crawl? The Fifties-style hairdos? The glassy-eyed, robotic smiles? The way they can walk upright and wear clothing while spouting crap that people who were little better than cavemen dreamed up three thousand years ago? Or is it the way they just keep repeating the same tired old non-arguments over and over and over, no matter how many times they are refuted, like a mental stutter? How come they can’t come up with a single new, totally original argument? But no. It’s always, “Stalin was an atheist! Atheism caused Hitler! Einstein believed in God!” Blah, blah, blah-de-blah.

    I second Brian. Please don’t pray for me, Christians. I’d rather get love-letters from Charles Manson.

  13. sus Says:

    I grew up in Ft. Laud., home of the Coral Ridge hour. In fact, I lived in the Coral Ridge area. Their steeple was a landmark everywhere, even in my dive book triangulations.

    So, they have this school attached to it called Westminster Academy, a rival of the non-religious school down the street that I attended. If you want a funny mental image, think of these kids trying to fight the other prep school kids where I went to school. The only difference was they were skinny, white and Christian, and at my school, we were mostly skinny, white, and Jewish. I even dated someone from there (briefly, I assure you. The creationism emails freaked me out. Thank goodness my biology teacher at my high school down the street patiently answered my questions about why these emails were so wrong). The kids don’t even get a prom. The mother’s club throws them a prom like party, but it has to be an unofficial event b/c standing within a certain distance of someone of the opposite sex is teh evil. They do appear fairly normal from the outside, though, nevermind their extreme vandalizing of my school. Laws apparently don’t apply to them.

    You should check out the craziness they call education. They teach language arts from the bible. I had a friend who was a biology teacher at another school, and she got her hands on their high school biology text book. It was all the crazy creationist stuff we mock, but in a textbook for kids which to me is just unconscionable.

    From their website: “mathematics based on classical studies.” WTF does that even mean? Pi=3?

    It’s actually a fairly respected academic program (which shows you the lovely standard we have for education in S. FL). Their kids do perform well and go on to decent colleges. They just have these crazy religious teachings thrown in to everything. Somehow they even offer AP Biology.

    http://www.wacad.edu/

  14. Parrotlover77 Says:

    I think that’s the fundie plan for taking over institutions of higher learning. First, have religious pre-school, then religious private grade school (or home school), then religious high schools (or home school again), and then get into a good college with a large religious base and change the academic policy to fit what they learned while young. And how do they get into good colleges with a lousy education? Under the guise of academic choice (aka, “teach the controversy!”). It’s not that what they are teaching is wrong — it’s just a different view on a subject drowning in debate!

  15. Lindsay Says:

    My dad has a HUGE grudge against religious schools. As a public school teacher and coach, he blamed the xtian schools for “recruiting.” Basically, if there was a star athlete at a certain public school, the x-tian schools would talk to the parents of said athletes and convince them to be enrolled in their school. Oftentimes they would get a free ride on tuition. So after a while, these schools would build up sports teams that dominated all the public school teams.

    My dad found this totally unethical and underhanded using the guise of religious education to have an all-star football or basketball or whatever team.

    Plus, he always felt that there wasn’t enough time in the day to teach the core subjects much less religious education. He stated if you want your kids to get a religious education enroll them in Sunday schools.

    Then again, my dad is atheist (though he doesn’t label himself as such) so it isn’t surprising he has these points of view.

  16. LadyRavana Says:

    I’m with Brian and Sue Blue! Don’t pray for me Christians, my soul doesn’t need saving!

    I’d sooner go to Sweeney Todd for a haircut. I don’t see how one would be worse than the other: be murdered and cannibalized in meat pies or have my soul sucked out of me, and become a blank, smiling automaton, while my reasoning dies a slow horrible death, and I hear the tiny screaming voice in the back of my head that was once upon a time my personality.

    *shudder*

  17. Sarah Says:

    Does a town consisting entirely of morons have a village idiot?

    Since the interpretation of idiocy is subjective, an evolution acceptor in their town is probably considered their ‘village idiot’

    As for Ann Coulter, I saw her latest book and pretty much died laughing. This woman should not be allowed to leave her house.

  18. Peter Says:

    You said:

    Here’s a question for the Discovery Institute, Access Research Network, or any of those other “academic freedom fighters” out there: If “intelligent design” isn’t religious and isn’t creationism, then why is a religious guy (DJK) using it to “prove” creation?

    I am totally down with this post except for this excerpt because it’s an ad hominem attack. It assumes that the only people making these arguments are religious. Sadly, David Berlinski is a secular Jew who parrots the same bullshit as does Steve Fuller who testified at Dover. The guy’s so postmodern that he doesn’t even believe anything he writes because the symbology he used might be totally subjective to his own self-hegemonic douchery (or something). You can use ID/Creationism to attack evolution and not be a fundie. Granted, there’s almost no one but Berlinski and Fuller for them to trot out in their dog and pony show to play the part but it stands that there are lefties and secularists who fall for this utter crap.

    All that said…[M]Ann Coulter needs to give it up to Henry Rollins and “Shut the fuck up!”

  19. Sue Blue Says:

    Ann Coulter’s not even qualified to pass judgement on Ann Coulter. However, I feel fully qualifed, based on the available evidence, to call her the sourest bag of douche ever contained in a human (sort of) hide.

  20. Ron Britton Says:

    Peter:

    I disagree. I don’t see how this is an ad hominem attack. There’s always going to be a couple of nutjobs who are completely out of place in any population. In this case, it’s Berlinski and Fuller. The existence of one or two out of millions does not invalidate my argument.