You Might be a Fundie If…

This just might fit

A fundie group in South Korea is going to put up three giant Christmas trees on the border with North Korea. This is part of the stupid back-and-forth provoking that these two immature siblings have been doing since the cease fire 58 years ago. They’re like little kids in the back seat on a long car trip. “Mommy! Kim is on my side!” “No I’m not. You’re poking me!”

Little kids with nukes, that is.

Maybe a better analogy is the crazy old man on the outskirts of town who has a vicious dog in his backyard. The neighbor boy thinks it’s great fun to shove a stick through the chain-link fence and repeatedly poke the dog. Not only is that a bad idea, but an even worse idea would be for someone else to go up to the kid and encourage him to keep at it. Jab that dog even more!

Well, an American fundie group thinks poking mad dogs is a splendid idea! Liberty Counsel tells us:

North Korea has claimed that South Korea’s plan to place three Christmas light displays in the shape of large trees is “a mean attempt for psychological warfare.” Their official site states, “The enemy warmongers… should be aware that they should be held responsible entirely for any unexpected consequences that may be caused by their scheme,” according to the Associated French Press.

Mad dogs are more fun to poke when they’re really mad!

This highlights the extreme hostility towards Christianity and Christmas that is still a daily part of the lives of those living in North Korea. Their government is not just content to ban the celebration of Christmas inside their nation, but is willing to declare Christmas lights seen from their borders to be similar to an act of war.

Wow. A literal War on Christmas™! It’s almost like Liberty Counsel is getting ready to make some sort of unsupportable logical jump.

Here in America, a Texas school banned Santa; a California school went another step and also banned poinsettias and Christmas trees, alleging that each was too religious. In addition, Governor Lincoln Chafee of Rhode Island renamed a Christmas tree a holiday tree against the wishes of the tree’s donor and the outcry across his state. It appears Gov. Chafee is well-suited for survival at the North Korea border. His policies are better for kow-towing to the Commies than celebrating Christmas.

And another Gold Medal in the Long Jump for Liberty Counsel!

They actually open their article with this “quiz”:

You might be a communist if…

  • You ban poinsettias from a government school;
  • You rename a Christmas tree a “holiday” tree in a state building…or
  • You threaten your neighbors with unexpected consequences if they want to put up Christmas lights.

They found a couple of instances of people being overly-cautious about merging church and state, and they think we’re on the path to living in North Korea.

Here’s a quiz for you, Liberty Counsel:

You might be a fundie if you equate the defense of the First Amendment with communism.

4 Responses to “You Might be a Fundie If…”

  1. Sue Blue Says:

    Twats. And I mean that in the British sense of the word. Bleeding Jesus Joe Bob Christ, don’t these morons have more to worry about than whether dead trees should or should not be propped up in Post Offices and courthouses? Every year it’s the Refrain of the Trumped-up War On The Non-Existant Birthday. The twats must all have jobs, paid=off mortgages, and fabulous healthcare because apparently they have the time and energy to worry about whether someone, somewhere, might be pissing on a nativity scene or something.

  2. Jeff Says:

    Actually, I’d like to engrave Sue’s comment on a bronze plaque and display that in front of the courthouses.

  3. Ron Britton Says:

    Apparently Jesus is so powerful that just the sight of a fake tree celebrating his fake birthday was enough to kill Kim Jong-Il.

  4. Sue Blue Says:

    I wouldn’t be surprised if there is some fundie group out there claiming exactly that – South Korean christian faith was so powerful that when they hexed the North with those xmas trees, it killed Kim Jong-Il!!! Cue hysterically gloating headline now….Evil Atheists Overcome by Arboreal Evidence of Christian Faith – Leader Dies!!!!