Hal Lindsey Comics, Part 3: Prophecy

Today we finish our examination of the cartoons published on the website of Hal Lindsey. Lindsey was all the rage in the 1970s with his books and movies about Bible prophecy. He’s still around today (at age 78), peddling his special brand of rage.

Lindsey thinks that we’re in the End Times, and all major current events were predicted in the Bible. He expects Jesus to return any moment now, so you probably don’t need to bother feeding the dog tonight. I’m sure he’ll be raptured up with you in two or three hours.

In part 1, we looked at how these cartoons portrayed politics and church/state separation. In part 2, we looked at what they think of secularists. Today, we will look at how the cartoons depict Bible prophecy.

It’s All About Israel

Line in the sand

Jesus isn’t coming back until the “restoration of the Jews”. Christian Zionists such as Lindsey believe that the establishment of Israel in 1948 fulfills that prophecy. Now that that’s taken care of, all we have to do is dot a few “i”s and cross a few “t”s. You know, simple things such as rebuilding the Jerusalem temple and starting World War III.

The state of Israel is central to all of this happening, so we (the United States) cannot allow anything to happen to Israel before these events occur. It isn’t clear to me why this is the job of the United States, especially since Hal Lindsey himself has said that the U.S. is not mentioned in the Bible (I wonder why that is?), so we will not be a major player in the events of the End Times.

This cartoon tells us that we need to expand the so-called War on Terror beyond protecting GW Bush’s daddy from a Saddam Hussein assassination attempt. We must set the security needs of the United States aside and spend our money and soldiers’ lives on the security needs of Israel. Jesus would want it that way.

G.O.P. = God’s Own Party

Cowardly Democrats

Here you see that every Muslim alive today is part of Satan’s plan to conquer God’s creation. The only people standing in their way are our brave troops in Iraq. The Democrats are trying to save themselves by surrendering America, freedom, and Jesus to the Islamic hordes. Ahh, but that is a fool’s bargain! As you can see, the Democrats’ path leads to destruction.

One of many things I find distressing about this attitude is that it leaves absolutely no room for compromise or attempts at finding a peaceful solution. To the Christian Zionists, it’s as if world history is on rails. We’re zipping through events toward everyone’s eventual destruction, and that’s the way it is supposed to be! This headlong rush to Apocalypse is good and desirable.

We’re God’s Right Hand

We're doing God's bidding

The Biblical quotation on this shows that Lindsey’s Christian Zionists believe that God is using us to carry out his wrath against those who would destroy Israel. That means everything we do in the Middle East is righteous. Well, certainly the destruction and mayhem that the U.S. has wrought upon Iraq and its populace is consistent with the behavior of the Old Testament God, where he would destroy entire towns because of a perceived slight.

I Can’t Wait!

We can't wait for WWIII

Finally, this is what they want. It’s what they pray for and have wet dreams about. They want everything to get so far out of hand in the Middle East that it triggers WWIII. Look at how this cartoon glorifies that event.

Many people argue that radical Christian fundamentalists are not as dangerous as radical Muslim fundamentalists. The worst that Christian fundamentalists have done in the last 20 years is kill the occasional abortion doctor or torture a gay guy and then tie him to a fence post to die. That’s nothing compared to killing 3000 people in one day.

Or is it?

The radical Muslims usually kill a few dozen people at a time. Even the 3000 dead of September 11 is a relatively small number. What do these Muslims think they will gain? Six dozen virgins for themselves, plus a little bit of fame as a martyr. That’s all.

The Christian Zionists are actively trying to induce World War III. If they ever manage to pull it off, it will mean billions of people dead. Their reward will be the return of Jesus Christ, the destruction of Satan, the banishment to hell of everybody they don’t like, the resurrection of everybody they do like, and total heavenly bliss for themselves.

The Christian Zionists are playing for much bigger stakes than the radical Muslims. The destruction will be far greater, and they have the political influence in Washington to nudge us closer and closer to their dream.

Radical Christians are (potentially at least) much more dangerous than radical Muslims.

25 Responses to “Hal Lindsey Comics, Part 3: Prophecy”

  1. Brian Says:

    In a head-to-head matchup between radical Islam and radical Christianity to determine the absolute worst threat to our survival as a species, I have to agree and give the edge to the home team. As horrid, odious and comtemptable as Islam is, Christianity has the fearful potential to eclipse even that barbaric faith with its own special brand of malevolence.

    In an Islamic world, women would be relegated to sub-human property status, wars would ravage without end, disease would run unabated, and homosexuals and apostates, or infidels, if you prefer, would simply be put to death. No one would be permitted to deviate from the tyrannical pronouncements of the pervert and pedophile, Mohammed. Given how much I would hate such a world, I think I’d be getting off easy by accepting death.

    As horrible as all this is, at least the world gets to continue. As you described above, with Hal Lindsey’s help, there would soon be no more world. This is a prospect delusional Christians yearn for. Not only do they get to be poofed magically into eternal bliss, they also get to gleefully watch everyone who ever used their brain to think about religion burn in agony forever. The rapture, or God’s Money Shot, as I like to think of it, would bring to pass the psychedelic, mushroom-inspired prophecies which constitute the Book of Revelations. Of course, none of these things Christians stupidly believe in will come true. There will be no rapture, no eternity of happiness or misery, and no return of Jesus, if he ever even existed to begin with. Still, the bombs will drop, blood will flow and people will die by the millions, perhaps billions, but ultimately there will be nothing to show for it. What a waste of a perfectly good nuclear holocaust!

    And so, I agree that Christianity is a greater threat to our survival as a species. Its transgressions today against human intelligence, dignity and decency are minor compared to what our Muslim, women-hating friends in the middle east seem to accomplish daily, but for sheer brutal, inhuman, megalomaniacal, narcissistic, evil potential, Islam can’t touch Christianity. In the supreme battle for the most vile belief system, Jesus bends Mohammed over and makes him his bearded little bitch.

  2. Brian Says:

    I’d like to make a follow-up statement regarding the previous comment: If any Christians or Muslims reading it were offended by the language used or the homoerotic imagery of Jesus and Mohammed doing the nasty together, good.

  3. Barbara Says:

    Maybe it’s just me and I’ve no personal experience, but it does seem that the explosion in the first cartoon may have been caused by the second soldier from the left. He seems to be assuming a ” Someone light my fart on fire” stance.

  4. Parrotlover77 Says:

    Jesus leading an army of angels is an interesting way to interpret the end times prophecy. I always thought it more abstract when he reigned down his judgement. Seems a bit out of character for him to go around waging a war, when he was supposed to have sacrificed himself to save us before. I thought the biblical war that was to take place was the result of humans, not Jesus. Even Chick depicts it more like Jesus sitting at a throne judging people, not leading an army and killing people with… uh… trumpets (and a saxaphone?!?!) as weapons.

    Also, a prophecy is pretty lousy when it requires those who believe it to constantly try to coax it into happening… (failing, so far, for nearly 2000 years). “Self fulfilling prophecy” may have the word “prophecy” in it, but it hardly counts as seeing into the future!

  5. Parrotlover77 Says:

    I looked at it again and still can’t get over the blonde angel jamming on the sax! That’s freaking hillarious.

  6. Ron Britton Says:

    …does seem that the explosion in the first cartoon may have been caused by the second soldier from the left.

    I don’t know about that, but the guy at the bottom center is obviously kissing his ass goodbye.

  7. Ron Britton Says:


    Thanks for a brilliant analysis. You said it better than I could have. I liked the imagery at the end. However, if you should choose to draw that up, that is one cartoon I think I won’t post.

  8. Parrotlover77 Says:

    Well, regarding Brian’s rant, it was quite a bit too overtly prejudicial for me.

    I dislike fundies of all flavors, but not all Muslims are women hating and want the bloodbath provided by the extremists. Neither are all Christians doing all they can to bring about the rapture and World War 3. I just don’t want our dialog to degrade into a “those people” borderline-racist argument. We need the moderates to help us push back against the fundies. You may disagree with them theologically, but there are plenty that are perfectly pleasant normal people. Lumping them all together into a homogenous evil group doesn’t help the cause.

  9. Ron Britton Says:

    We’re talking about the radical elements in each camp. In fact, if it weren’t for the Christian Zionists, my only concern about Christian fundies would be their various forms of trying to impose their morality onto the rest of us.

  10. Brian Says:

    Perhaps a word of explanation is in order regarding the vehemence of my disdain for both religions. I’m just finishing up reading “Infidel” by Ayaan Hirsi Ali, so I currently have little tolerance for the myriad ways in which Islam has become a blight on much of the world. For anyone who hasn’t taken the opportunity to read it, you will find it well worth your time. Hirsi Ali is an extraordinary woman whose unique insight into this world will simultaneously horrify and inspire you. Much of it details the problems Western Europe, and Holland, in particular, now has to deal with from a misguided policy of ignoring the honor killings, female circumcisions and wife-beatings that are far too common among its Muslim immigrant community. Out of fear of appearing intolerant or even racist, the Dutch have bent over backwards to welcome these people into their country, giving them every imaginable benefit, including that of doubt, only to have their generosity taken advantage of by those who refuse to acclimate to their new home and instead act as if its the middle ages all over again.

    Appealing to moderates who aren’t certifiably insane is not something we should refuse to do. Sometimes it might even work. But remember that these people are loathe to seriously examine the foundations of their beliefs. Whenever someone dares to point out any of the thousands of ways in which a particular belief makes no sense, the believer is almost invariably offended and will refuse to even consider the merits of what was said, even moderate believers. I am not directly calling out these warm and fuzzy Christians who really are nice, decent people. And yes, I have no doubt the same could be said of millions of Muslims. My fire, as Ron said, is aimed directly at those who want nothing less than to stuff their crazy-ass fantasies down everyone’s throat. If some nice people become offended by this, they should wake up and realize that their silence enables their lunatic bretheren to continue making religion the festering sore on human civilization that it has become.

  11. Parrotlover77 Says:

    Yea, I just prefer the kinder approach to not alienate people. I think diviseness, appealing to the “us versus them” mentality is what got us into this mess in the first place. It is exactly what the fundies do to us. But whatever floats your boat.

    Agreed that there is a problem with religion (particularly Muslim) conservativism slowing eroding a lot of what was wonderful about Europe. But I’m not sure a holy war is the answer. Honestly, I don’t know what the answer is. I’m just tired of hating.

  12. Hooton Hears a Hor Says:

    My father is a fundie so I know from first hand experience how dangerously delusional these people can be.

  13. mc Says:

    I hope those who are skeptical will stop and think that possibly the unique, convulsive current events are pointing to the end of this age… Logically consider just a few coinciding points….that mankind did not have the means to wipe itself out until after the 1940’s, with the development of nuclear weaponry. Concurrently, Israel has appeared on the scene (re-established in 1948),after thousands of years of the diaspora. Faith has waned, humanism has bounded… then there is the apparent increasing frequency of natural disasters,…Honestly, it sounds like the “end times” scenario spoken of in the Bible. Don’t let pride get in the way of exploring the possibility that you are living in the “last days” of this age, and that the claims of Jesus Christ are real.

  14. J.R. "Bob" Dobbs Says:

    mc: Your particular sect of Christianity has been living in the last days since its formation.Israel today is a man-made construct-not God’s Israel.

    I don’t know about your end-times (according to my church we have several thousands of years left before the Xtians invade on X-Day) but I prefer this

  15. J.R. "Bob" Dobbs Says:

    Not to mention, what happens now can apply to virtually any religion’s concept on the world’s end.All those earthquakes could be coming from Loki writhing in his subterranean prison for instance.

  16. S. Says:

    I always thought GOP meant ‘grand oppressive party.’ LOL.

  17. LadyRavana Says:

    Pardon me for being dense, but does GOP seriously mean God’s Own Party?

    As for what Brian said at the very top, bravo. Nail on the head.

    I’d suggest looking at this article. Yes, it’s somewhat dated, but I think still relevant:

    Reading it chilled my blood. I really, really don’t want to imagine a fundie-run America. Well, okay…so we ARE living in a Fundie run America, but we all know that it can get worse.

    *hopes for Obama to win and crosses fingers*

  18. Ron Britton Says:

    Allegedly it stands for Grand Old Party, but we all know better, don’t we?

  19. S. Says:

    LOL,yep. 🙂

    LadyR,yea,it can only get worse if the repubs win again! They’ve done an excellent job of ruining our country for the last two terms.Time for it to come to an end.

  20. S. Says:

    Most people hear them talk about a ‘Christian nation’ and think, ‘Well, that sounds like a good, moral thing,’ says the Rev. Mel White, who ghostwrote Jerry Falwell’s autobiography before breaking with the evangelical movement. “What they don’t know — what even most conservative Christians who voted for Bush don’t know — is that ‘Christian nation’ means something else entirely to these Dominionist leaders. This movement is no more about following the example of Christ than Bush’s Clean Water Act is about clean water.

    So true…that was an excellent article,LadyR.Thanks for posting.

    Most ppl forget that former Pres. Reagan consulted astrologer Jean Dixon for advice, and didn’t go to church,based on what he said were ‘security issues’.Baloney.I think he was just a total hypocrite.”God-fearing man’ was just a public image for him.The scary thing is that ppl really bought it!

    I’m also old enough to remember when he shut down all the mental institutions in CA.Thank goodness Pres. only get 2 terms.As with the Bush administration,that was more than enough.

  21. S. Says:

    this from it, too:

    Amway founder Rich DeVos, a Kennedy ally who’s the leading Republican contender for governor of Michigan, has tossed more than $5 million into the collection plate. Jean Case, wife of former AOL chief Steve Case — whose fortune was made largely on sex-chat rooms — has donated $8 million. And Tom Monaghan, founder of Domino’s Pizza, is a major source of cash for Focus on the Family, a megaministry working with Kennedy to eliminate all public schools.

    Time for a boycott on Amway,AOL,and Domino’s,for starters ? Albeit I don’t actually pay for aol though,since I get it for free w/ another means of connecting.Ignoring their ads would be a good thing to do.

    eliminate all public schools? what about those who can’t afford private ones? will they be forced to homeschool?

  22. Ron Britton Says:


    AOL is now a part of Time Warner, so boycotting that serves no purpose. I heard once that Monaghan sold off Domino’s, but maybe somebody can correct me. That leaves only Amway, which you should have been boycotting all along. They’ve always been Christofascists.

  23. Bunkie Says:

    Amway is now Quixtar in the US and Canada. They changed their name to change their image but, inside, they are still the same old Amway.

  24. Sarah Says:

    Too bad the comic doesn’t show any of our troops dying or lying in hospital beds without their legs or something horrible like that.

    God this is pathetic…he is practically glorifying war and making it seem as though no one besides ‘the bad guys’ will die and that the bad guys don’t have families or lives outside of the war, etc…

    But I guess it doesn’t matter who dies because Jesus is just gonna come and save us all!

    Wait…no…only the Christians…so that pretty much eliminates every member of the other 79999 religions around the world…and the Atheists…and all the animals, plants, and other lowly lifeforms that God and Jesus just don’t give two holy shits about.

    Nice. Nice.

  25. Anon Says:

    I can tell you from personal experience that Christians are just as crazy and dangerous as Muslims