Half Moon Bay Pumpkin Festival

Ray's misinformation is no comfort

Look who has new nesting material!
(Ray Comfort’s $100 bill, size comparison.)
(Rat not included.)

Last weekend, I went to the Half Moon Bay Pumpkin Festival. It isn’t the sort of event where I expected to encounter the forces of superstition, fear, and misinformation. Oh what a fool I am.

Overall, actually, I was rather impressed. Although ostensibly a harvest festival, the event overall contained all of the images of the season, which includes that most evil of holidays, Halloween. (BTW, harvest festivals are also pagan, so really, the entire event is non-Christian.)

Despite the festival’s pagan undertones, several of the food booths were run by churches. I also noticed that some of the churches in town were decorated with witches, black cats, and other Halloween imagery. It struck me that if this were held in the Deep South, not only would the churches not have evil, satanic, pagan decorations, but all their members would be out picketing.

(That’s right. I live in one of the least fundie regions in the nation, and I run an anti-fundie blog. That’s because if I lived anywhere else in the country, my brain would explode. That’s what happens when you put something filled with matter into a vacuum.)

But, as I alluded to at top, the event wasn’t devoid of superstition.

Park Place

My first encounter occurred as I was driving into town. This event attracts 200,000 people over two days, so I got there early to avoid traffic. There isn’t much on-street parking, so all of the locals seize the opportunity to let you park in their lot—for a fee, of course.

I passed numerous signs advertising parking. “Park here! $5!” (I’m assuming they don’t mean 5-factorial. “What do you mean $120? Your sign said $5!” “Exactly!”)

“Park here! $10!”

“All-Day Parking! $15!”

I was able to get fairly close. Then I came to an intersection and had a dilemma. I saw two parking signs.

The one on the left said “Park at our church! Only two blocks from the festival! $5!”

The one on the right said “Park at our elementary school! Only four blocks from the festival! $10”

Hmmmmm… decisions… decisions…. I can spend $5 and only have to walk two blocks, but my money goes to brainwash the gullible with misinformation. Or I can spend twice that, have to walk twice as far, but my money helps to buy supplies for a destitute school.

Without even pausing long enough to blink, I turned right and parked at the elementary school.

No Comfort

As I was walking toward the festival, I saw a couple of guys standing on a street corner. They appeared to be handing something out.

Some people have “gaydar”. I have “fundar”. I know that isn’t a good pun, but you try to come up with a funny name for it. It’s actually not a special skill. Anytime you see somebody handing something out on a street corner, it’s virtually guaranteed to be a fundie.

I immediately realized that this could be something I could make fun of on my blog! (I’m always working for you folks, even when I’m doing other stuff!) Sure enough, it was!

“Would you like to have a $100 bill?” one of the fundies asked, holding up an oversized $100 bill.

Woohoo! Jackpot! A giant $100 bill!

That could only mean this is one of Ray Comfort’s fundiebots! I’ve been reading Ray’s emails for quite a while. He always has oversized crap like this to pass out. On the back, of course, is a Bible tract.

I was excited, because I knew these guys were out there. They stake out high-traffic areas, trying to snare the unwary, but I had never seen any in the wild. I was beginning to think they were extinct in Northern California (sort of like the grizzly bear, and just as dangerous).

“Is that Ray Comfort’s tract?”, I asked.

“Yes sir!”, the fundie said.

“Sure, I’ll take it!” I folded up my prize and stuffed it into my pocket, so no one would be able to steal it from me.

If you folks are lucky, and I have time (HA!), I’ll dissect the thing in a future article.

BTW, this thought occurred to me: Couldn’t I take Ray Comfort’s $100 bill and use it to pay for parking at that church up the street? Shouldn’t it be legal tender for them? “Keep the change!”, I’d tell them. I’m so generous at times!

The Twelve Commandments

As I continued my long, four-block slog to the festival, I passed a church (There were quite a few churches along that short stretch of road. What is Half Moon Bay’s problem?).

They had posted the Ten Commandments out front:

Now with two bonus commandments

Umm… I mean Twelve Commandments.

A-OK Psychic Readings

Wandering around the festival, I happened upon this sign in the window of an alleged psychic:

Posterboard doesn't come with a spell checker

Obviously, her powers do not extend to spelling.

7 Responses to “Half Moon Bay Pumpkin Festival”

  1. Jeff Says:

    New Agers = just another flavor of fundie. Ill-bred, poorly educated imbeciles – with magical powers, yet.

    As for passing out bogus hundred-dollar bills – isn’t that lying? Oh, wait, I forgot – not if it’s for Jesus.

  2. Ericsan Says:

    It was only fitting to schedule a pagan festival for the day AFTER the rapture… I guess they weren’t planning on Harold Camping attending :-)

  3. Shannon Says:

    Look how happy the rat looks to have new nesting material! I hope he tore it up extra special.

  4. Parrotlover77 Says:

    The laws governing how currency can be reprinted are interesting. The reason Ray Comfort has to make it extra big is because U.S. currency cannot be depicted accurately in print at actual size. I believe the threshold is 25% larger or smaller than an actual bill (I’m going from memory — actual values might differ from Parrotlover77′s brain cells).

    Yes, even if it is only one-sided and contains none of the embedded security markers, that holds true. If it is actual size, it has to have big red marking over it indicating it is not real currency. Or it has to be obscured by more than 50%. Again, I might have some of those rules off by a bit — going by memory.

    Here in the shallow south (I call NC shallow because we have pretty decent skeptical and liberal pockets despite being so close in proximity to the deep south), we have churches that have abortion haunted houses. Come to our church to be scared by haunting images? Yea…

    Just like how Passion of the Mel Gibson is acceptable fundie family snuff viewing despite all the blood, guts, and gore, because it shows jesus getting thrashed, aborted and miscarried fetuses is the proper wholesome family-friendly way to scare your kids on Halloween.

  5. Ron Britton Says:

    Parrotlover:

    The reason Ray Comfort has to make it extra big is because U.S. currency cannot be depicted accurately in print at actual size.

    I thought it was to contain the enormous lies.

    Here in the shallow south…, we have churches that have abortion haunted houses.

    I forgot about those things! I’ve been wanting to write an article about them every year, and I never get around to doing it.

    The best way to write it would be from first-hand experience. We must have one somewhere in the Bay Area, I just don’t know where. If we can give the world Harold Camping and Jim Jones, we must have enough loonies to make a haunted abortion house.

    I’d look for one this weekend, but I’m doing photography stuff. Those fetuses will just have to get aborted without me.

  6. Sue Blue Says:

    What – no seances? At a Halloween festival? What kind of psychic doesn’t hold a seance at this time of year? I thought this was supposed to be when all the spirits are out wandering around, trying to get someone to pay attention to them before god makes them all go back to their graves on All Saints Day. Damn, Half Moon Bay gots to get it some reeeeeal sikiks (sic.)

  7. Parrotlover77 Says:

    I thought it was to contain the enormous lies.

    Well, that too.

    I’d look for one this weekend, but I’m doing photography stuff. Those fetuses will just have to get aborted without me.

    I’d like to see what’s inside one. But not so much that I have to actually go. :-) I would get so infuriated at the misinformation and lately my fuse has been pretty short.