Hal Lindsey Comics, Part 1: Theocracy

He sold a buttload of these. Appropriate, since he pulled it out of his ass!

One of these days, I need to write an article about Hal Lindsey. You might remember him from the 1970s, when he came out with his best-selling book, The Late Great Planet Earth. Hal is big into Bible prophecy. According to his book, the End Times were supposed to happen in the 1980s. Oops. Maybe if they had published an edition in Aramaic, Jesus would have read it and known when he was due. But he is coming back! Any day now! Really he is!

Everything Lindsey says, does, and thinks passes through the filter of Bible prophecy. Among the other awful offal on Hal’s website are cartoons about the current state of the world as it relates to the Earth’s never-ending-impending ending. These cartoons are created for Lindsey’s site by John and Patsy Rule.

As I looked through the archives, it gave me a riveting picture of what Christian Zionists like Lindsey and his followers believe. I thought you might be interested in seeing some of those cartoons.

Because of the size of these things, I’m going to break this article into three parts. Today we will look at how Lindsey’s followers view the matter of politics and church/state separation. Part 2 will examine what they think of secularists, and part 3 will look at prophecy.

When Fox News is Too Liberal

This first cartoon tells us about Barack Obama’s secret:

Vote for Obama

Obama is a closet Muslim! I know it’s true! I read it on the internet somewhere!

At least Fox News has the decency to restrict their libel to innuendo (“Is Obama a Muslim?”).

(On a strictly side note, don’t you love how everybody is now upset over the inflammatory statements made by Obama’s pastor? I bet many of the same people who think he’s a Muslim are upset about what his Christian pastor said!)

Many of the cartoons in the archive are strongly anti-Muslim. They depict Islam as a monolithic force out to destroy Israel and the West. They don’t bother to distinguish the dangerous radical Muslims from the less-hazardous non-radicals.

One way to determine whether a viewpoint is fair is to turn it on its head. What if non-Christians viewed all Christians as extremist wackos? How would Lindsey’s followers feel then? Oh, wait. Lindsey’s followers are the extremists! Nevermind.

Cutting God out of America

Nancy Pelosi hates America

This is the recurring view of liberal politicians. They’re always portrayed as being on a single-minded mission to remove God from the government, the schools, and society in general. That’s all they do. The cartoons never explain why. I’m still trying to figure out what motive Christian Zionists ascribe to liberals. I guess the assumption is that liberal politicians haven’t found God (which isn’t true in most cases), so they’re controlled by Satan’s evil forces.

Never in these cartoons is anybody depicted as merely holding to another, equally valid, form of Christianity. The good guys are always the Zionists. Everybody else is a tool of Satan.

Well That’s Your Problem! You Used the Wrong Foundation!

Wrong foundation

It’s that God-damned Liberal Agenda again! Thank God the dreaded Homosexual Agenda was off at a pride parade that day.

If you can’t read the labels on the bricks, they say “school prayer”, “10 commandments”, “God’s word”, “Jesus”, “traditional marriage”, and “pro-life”.

The premise of this cartoon is flawed, of course, because the United States was not founded on Biblical principles. If it had been, then Mike Huckabee wouldn’t feel the need to overhaul the Bill of Rights. I mean, come on, folks. Maybe they could argue that the country has strayed from its roots, but when they—the Christians—tell you that you have to throw away the First Amendment, then it isn’t the “liberals” who are destroying the foundation of this country.

More Retirements are Imminent

They're not letting out the light. They're letting in the dark!

This cartoon is actually pretty accurate. I forgot who it was, but one court-watcher said recently that he expects three Supreme Court Justices to announce their retirements within the next year. I want you to mentally erase three of those figures on the left side of the image and add three more to the right side.

It’s Motivating Me. Maybe Not the Effect They Wanted.

Even if it means having to vote for Hillary

This one speaks for itself.

16 Responses to “Hal Lindsey Comics, Part 1: Theocracy”

  1. blue collar scientist Says:

    In that last cartoon, I notice the flag is promising “pornography drugs.” And since the cartoon was done by religious folk, I know it can’t be a lie or exaggeration. So I think I’d like to try me some of those, please. Where can I find a friendly neighborhood heathen to get some?

  2. cipher Says:

    Lindsey should have been placed on Thorazine by court order decades ago.

    I saw a fellow on C-Span talking about the Supreme Court a couple of weeks ago. He’d written a book about it, but I can’t remember his name. Could it have been the same guy? He said that four of them are in their seventies and eighties, and one – Stevens or Breyer, I can’t remember – actually dislikes the job and spends as little time in Washington as possible. He thought at least one or two would retire within the next few years, and, if a Republican gets in, he’ll naturally appoint conservative judges, and that will be the end of Roe v. Wade. Also had a few choice things to say about Clarence Thomas – a very disturbed character.

    These aren’t even good cartoons – but, I suppose they don’t need to be. Evangelicals have no sense of aesthetics, and certainly no sense of humor. And, look at the faces of the justices – do all fundies draw like Jack Chick?

  3. Jane Says:

    Looks like the Devil has all the best cartoonists as well as the best songs – those cartoons are bogging awful.

    Anyways don’t they know that god is an Englishman, he couldn’t give a stuff about the United States 😉

  4. Parrotlover77 Says:

    “do all fundies draw like Jack Chick?”

    Yes, until they hire somebody else to draw for them and then the art gets good. Just like Jack Chick did.

  5. Parrotlover77 Says:

    On the “rolling back the stone” one, the issues are confusing because you can look at it two ways on first glance. Either they are “rolling back” those issues, or they are “fighting for” those issues. But it’s actually a mix. This is poor political art because you have to know which issues they are fighting for offhand, or else it looks like they are fighting for or against a mixed set of issues that the reader may all agree with or not.

    Certainly no fundie is fighting FOR 10 commandments and FOR abortion simultaneously, for example. Nor are they fighting against both. They are fighting for the first and against the second.

    “We’re rolling back the 10 commandments while we roll back abortion!” the lulz are always at the ready when the fundies join the party!

  6. Arkonbey Says:

    ParrotLover77: I noticed the odd ‘rolling stone’ list. Are they for or against eminent domain? And how is that a religious issue?

    With all the ‘America is a Christian Nation’ talk, they must not quote Thomas Jefferson a great deal…

  7. Parrotlover77 Says:

    Fundies tend to only quote “…that they are endowed by their Creator…” from the Declaration of Independence as far as Jefferson quotes go. 🙂

  8. Ranigi Says:

    This is to whoever made that cartoon about muslims “You psychotic maniac. Your an ignorant moran for believing whatever you read on the internet.”

  9. t bags Says:

    what inferences should we draw from the lack of a black supreme court justice in the drawing?

  10. jenny Says:

    You are offended by the Obama Muslim cartoon and yet he say’s. Him, himself, with his own words say’s he is a Muslim.

    That so called “church” he went to isn’t even a Christian church. It’s a church about black power, and promoting the “african americans” It’s scary to think he came from that church where he went for 20 years, and wants to lead our country.

  11. J.R. "Bob" Dobbs Says:

    jenny:Ahhh glorious misinformation.You are a great contributor to our country by passing these unfounded internet rumours around.

  12. Ron Britton Says:

    It’s amazing that the anti-Obama lies are getting more brazenly wrong. Originally, they just said that he must be a Muslim because… and then they’d rattle off a bunch of so-called evidence, which was vague and ambiguous and didn’t prove anything (e.g., his middle name).

    Now they’re claiming that “Of course he’s a Muslim. He said so himself, right as he was strapping on the suicide bomb vest!”

    What causes this? Is it merely a game of telephone? Each time it gets repeated, a bit of information is mangled. Or are there rumor-mongers out there inventing this stuff? Somebody had to come up with this stuff originally. Maybe they’re sitting in their offices thinking “I can’t believe they swallowed that Muslim stuff. I know! Let’s crank it up. Make the rumors even more outlandish, and see if they’ll swallow that, too!”

    Another thing I love is how exclusionary the Christians are. They’re always right there to tell you who isn’t a real Christians. It certainly isn’t the Mormons! They have their own Bible. And it isn’t the Catholics; they worship idols. By the time they’re done telling you who isn’t a Christian, only their own church is left. No wonder they think they’re in the minority.

  13. Brian Says:

    Well, what else can you expect from people who think the earth is 6000 years old? Thinking is not their strong suit.

  14. Parrotlover77 Says:

    What is a church about black power? What the hell do you worship?

    You know what the sad thing is? Even some of the most delusional Obama lies are still preferrable to the truth of McCain/Palin.

  15. teresa Says:

    that is funny as h.e double haky sticks

  16. Zeke Says:

    Hey, there’s some real skinny on the rapture-ranting endtime nuts that you gotta check out. Just hit Google etc. and type in “The NEWEST Pretrib Calendar.” It’ll turn you inside out!