At War with Itself

What is it?

Look at that thing. Kinda purty, ain’t it?

But what is it? To me, it looks like fireworks. Somebody set up a bunch of cones and set them off all at once.

Let’s back up a bit and see if we can get a better view.

What is it?

Well now it looks more like fiber optics. Hundreds of fiber optic cables, connecting each city to many others.

Let’s back up all the way and see the entire width.

What is it?

OOOOO!! It’s really getting morbidly pretty now! Click on that image to get a bigger view of its awesomeness. What it looks like to me is an all-out, free-for-all nuclear armageddon. Sixty-six city-states, each armed to the teeth, launching all their nukes simultaneously in one last-ditch effort to wipe out all of the infidels in the other cities. Kind of appropriate, as you’ll see in a moment.

This “dome of doom”, as I call it, is from a poster. That poster has some text below the dome. Let’s look at just a bit of it.

List of contradictions

I know what that’s a list of! Contradictions in the Bible! So that “dome” is actually a diagram connecting all of the contradicting passages in the Bible.

There sure are a lot of them. Here’s the entire poster, shrunk way down to fit my margins:

Entire poster

This poster is produced by Project Reason, and you can get yourself a full-sized version of it right here. If you have access to a giant printer, you can print it out. Then do a Martin Luther and nail it to the door of your local fundigelical church.

14 Responses to “At War with Itself”

  1. Cyc Says:

    Hypocrisy has never been quite so beautiful…

  2. Parrotlover77 Says:

    Access to a giant printer with about four standby cartridges of black ink!

  3. ericsan Says:

    How about creating an iPhone app for that?

  4. ericsan Says:

    All you need to know: the angels have the police box.

  5. Ron Britton Says:

    Ericsan:

    How about creating an iPhone app for that?

    It sounds like you’re volunteering! That poster is based on the Skeptic’s Annotated Bible. Last year, they put out a request for help in creating a smartphone app.

  6. ericsan Says:

    Ha. It would be nice to help the cause, in my copious spare time. I feel less of an impetus now that Apple has finally pulled the Exodus International app from the App Store. Took them a month, the fucking douchebags. With a #2 (Tim Cook) who’s as queer as xmas. Go figure.

  7. sue blue Says:

    You know what would have even more impact? Post a list of the parts of the bible that actually agree or make some sort of sense, right next to this huge poster. Post them both wherever you can. No need for arguments or catchy phrases – it speaks for itself!

    I always laugh and shake my head when I hear that “the greatest story ever told!” or “the best-selling Book ever!” crap about the bible. If someone wrote a book these days with that many continuity errors it would go straight from the publishing house’s mailroom to the dumpster out back.

  8. ericsan Says:

    “The greatest story ever told,” how preposterous. Everybody knows it’s the story of Martha Jones.

  9. Coty Says:

    How about a chart showing the “morality” of the bible? I’m sure that’d also be a hot item.

    Btw, I’d just like to thank Ron for sharing the link to the Skeptic’s Annotated bible. Definitely bookmarking that page!

  10. Sarah Trachtenberg Says:

    Ha ha. Wow. I honestly didn’t know where you were going with this. A picture (in context) says a thousand words!
    How would a Christian respond to this?

  11. sue blue Says:

    Sarah – judging from the response of certain christians close to me, most would probably go with one of these: a.)It’s not the KJV version of the bible, so it’s not the “real” Word of God and therefore was probably mistranslated by evil secular heathens; b.)Those verses only contradict each other if you read them without the illumination of the “holy spirit”, or c.) It’s all a bullshit plot concocted by over-educated elitist atheists who couldn’t possibly understand the many subtleties of the bible or the mysterious ways in which god works, whereas your average toothless hick who never finished the 8th grade can, because god loves him/her.

  12. Jeff Says:

    That really does just about cover all of the bases – and it doesn’t matter how well-educated they are; they never can seem to get beyond the point you’ve just described (barring, of course, the liberal Christians and the handful of self-styled “progressive” evangelicals – who, as we all know, aren’t “real” Christians to begin with).

    I can’t even be kind any more. When they erupt with, “You think you’re so much smarter than we are, don’t you?”, all I can say is “Yep.”

  13. nazani14 Says:

    Or, you could look at a book called a “concordance.” The fun part is that it should be called a “discordance,” because it compares what various scriptures say on all these topics and more, and the discrepancies are painfully obvious.

  14. anti_supernaturalist Says:

    poorly written xian fiction smoothed over in biblical translation

    Leaving aside material stolen from judaism — the so-called old testament — texts selected by ancient xian councils in 4th and 5th century CE present merely those chosen for rough coherence and orthodoxy in late roman antiquity Inconsistency hardly concerned bible brewers — they did their damnedest with what they had and burned the rest. Or, so they believed.

    • Many other gospels and revelations, along with works of greek literature and philosophy, were to be burned under an imperial order in about 440 CE. The books of the so-called new testament were not selected until centuries after an alleged crucifixion of a divinized cultural fiction, Jesus.

    Some gnostic texts banned by the councils and supposedly destroyed by byzantine imperial decree did escape the bonfires. Want to know about Jesus as a pre-teen? Want to read other fantasies about the end of the world?

    Yes you can! Check out: The Other Bible.

    • Now, about the texts of the so-called new testament. They were written in koine greek — “common” greek, a simplified language of traders throughout the eastern mediterranean basin. P/Saul of Tarsus (fl 50-65 CE), for example, was a tent maker and salesman. His native language? Aramaic.

    According to modern scholarship, Paul wrote koine badly. As did John of Patmos whose native language was syriac. His much loved hymn to destruction, Revelation, almost didn’t make it into the NT.

    • What follows from this? The mellifluous tones of the 17th century KJV lack the originals’ simplicity. The text totally polishes away the intellectual ineptitude of new testament writers and all those who subsequently made alterations to the texts, none of which were dictated by divine agents. The KJV is an inaccurate translation even for its own time.

    Moreover, English itself has altered sufficiently in 400 years that words once clear to most are today misleading. For example, when speaking of Jesus’ baptism, one KJV text says he “came straightway out of the water” of the Jordan River. Some fundies interpret “straightway” to mean he had been fully immersed in the river and came up by lifting his body up out of it. The text means only that after being baptized, he walked back to the river bank. (Talking god appearing as a dove not included.)

    Unfortunately for full-immersion-dogmatists, “straightway” 400 years ago meant “immediately” just as “straightaway” does in British English today. The KJV is riddled with such traps, just like. Shakespeare. Ignorance is no excuse. Look for a translation at least accurately simple.

    • There are many modern translations into English. Each of them I suppose suffers from inherent ideological bias. Certainly, none reflect the linguistic barbarisms of the texts.

    I happen to prefer the NIV — the new international version.

    Of course, as Paul modestly asserts I say this by way of advice and not as a command. Otherwise whatever else I’ve said above is the word of “God”.

    the anti_supernaturalist