This Story Has Been Completely Buried by the Liberal Media!
Thanks to Jeff, who tipped me off to this story that those bastards at MSNBC and the New York Times refuse to cover:
FORMER DAVENPORT, IA—Immediately following the performance of a same-sex marriage ceremony Sunday afternoon at Holy Christ Almighty Lutheran Church on Lincoln Avenue, the city of Davenport, IA and all 99,685 of its residents were reportedly smitten into oblivion by the merciless wrath of God and flung into the deepest bowels of eternal hell.
“They tried to warn us and we didn’t listen—Lord, why did we not listen?” said Rev. Kenneth Hanson, the clergyman who performed the unholy marriage, moments before being dragged into a bottomless pit, flayed alive, and devoured by Satan, the Great Deceiver. “All I wanted to do was provide basic civil rights and legal recognition to Brian and Greg, two people who love each other and have been together for 15 years. But I was wrong. Oh, so wrong!”
On a related note, I’ve been so busy with work that I haven’t been able to get my head above water (Ouch! Sorry!) long enough to find out how many fundies are blaming Japan’s earthquake and tsunami on their being a mostly-Shinto country, or having a gay person, or eating shellfish, or giving us Pokemon, or something. You can mention that in the comments, if you know of any.