Glad he's gone.

As you’ve all heard by now, Mike Huckabee finally gave up his hopeless quest for the White House on Tuesday. He will now return to his hopeless quest of waiting for Jesus to return.

I don’t have a whole lot to say about his dropping out other than I’m glad it’s finally over. I am concerned about what plans he has for the future. I doubt that McCain will tap him for the VP slot, although McCain does need to do something to appease the fundie crowd.

Tony Perkins Thinks I Value His Opinion

Today I received an email from Tony Perkins of the Fundie Research Council. The first part of the email is titled “Huckabye”. He says some interesting things here, so I thought it would be worth examining it. He writes:

To succeed in his bid for the White House, McCain must consolidate his support among conservatives, including social conservatives, which will not happen just because he is the Republican nominee.

I hear that a lot from fundies right now, but talk is cheap and the election is still eight months away. When November 4th rolls around and they’re in the booth staring at the names:

  • John McCain
  • Hillary Clinton

who do you think they’re going to vote for? Many conservatives and probably most fundies dislike McCain, but they absolutely despise Clinton.

Some pundits have suggested that a lot of “social conservatives” (i.e. fundies) will choose to stay home that day. Believe me. Nothing motivates a fundie more than the opportunity to spread their hate. The Republican nominee could be Richard Dawkins, but all of the fundies would still turn out in swarms to vote for him anyway, because what they’d really be doing is voting against Hillary Clinton. And that will feel so good!

Tony Perkins’ email continues:

A poll released last month by George Barna revealed that if the election were held then, only 45 percent of Evangelicals would vote for a Republican candidate.

Again, talk is cheap. A pollster calls them up on the telephone. It’s anonymous. They don’t even have to look the pollster in the eye. It’s real easy to say things they don’t mean. They may even think they won’t vote for the Republican at the time they’re answering the survey, but when they’re staring at the prospect of another Clinton in the White House, they’ll camp out in front of their polling place weeks in advance, like an evangelical Harry Potter line.

That number is down from 85 percent of Evangelicals who voted for George W. Bush in 2004.

If you were wondering how Bush managed to get re-elected despite all of the atrocities he committed, there’s your answer. The so-called “values voters” don’t have any values. If they did, they would not tolerate torture, suspension of the Fourth Amendment, being lied into an unnecessary war, etc. All they want is to overturn Roe v. Wade and keep those dirty, filthy homos from having butt-sex within a legally-sanctioned marriage. No matter what the cost.

John McCain will have to convince social conservatives that their issues matter and that he can talk about them as a candidate and act upon them as president.

That won’t be difficult. McCain has already managed to convince most Americans that he’s a maverick, straight-talking, moderate, incorruptible American hero. Blowing smoke up the fundies’ asses will be a piece of cake for him. (And the fundies will secretly enjoy the anal stimulation and freak out that they might be gay, thus forcing a constitutional amendment against anal smoking.)

11 Responses to “Huckabye”

  1. WCG Says:

    Two points: First, the fundies would definitely turn out in force to vote AGAINST Hillary Clinton, but they won’t have that goad (unless Barack Obama ends up forced to pick Clinton as his VP). The fundies don’t feel that kind of visceral hate for Obama. They don’t like him, of course, but they don’t like McCain, either. So more of them will stay home on election day (and almost as important, they won’t donate money and time on this election). Enthusiasm means a lot in an election, and between McCain and Obama, the enthusiasm will be on one side alone. (And note that, as much as Obama touts his religious belief, he always includes nonbelievers in his speeches and firmly supports the separation of church and state.)

    Second, Huckabee may or may not expect a VP nod from McCain. I don’t expect to see that, though McCain will definitely pick a young evangelical Christian – the looniest he can get – to make up to the Republican base. However, neither McCain nor Huckabee are popular with the wealthy wing of the GOP, so he wouldn’t be much help there. No, I suspect that Huckabee is simply positioning himself for a presidential run in 2012, expecting that McCain will get beat this year. After November, you can bet that Huckabee will be running for president for the following four years.

  2. Ron Britton Says:


    You’ve summed up the only real reason I favor Obama over Clinton.

    I’m sure we’ll see Huckabee again in four years.

  3. The Watcher Says:

    I wholeheartedly agree with you both. In fact, the more dirty pool Clinton plays, the less comfortable I am with her. Make no mistake, I do hope to see a female president in my lifetime, but I think Hillary has ruined her chances.

    On Huckster, all I have to say is this: Where’s God when you really need Him?

  4. Ron Britton Says:

    God didn’t answer Hucklenut’s prayers, because he was busy answering our prayers!

    (I don’t actually pray, but you get my point.)

  5. Parrotlover77 Says:

    Ron – Although I agree an “anti-Hillary” vote would happen in those scenarios, I do not expect to see the same evangelical turn-out for McCain as for Bush and that is what gives Clinton a fighting chance. I still think Obama is a better candidate to run this year against McCain (especially since he is so comfortable talking about his religion, which fundies love once they figure out that he’s not a Muslim).

    What I am worried about is how the media fawns over McCain like he, himself, is the second coming. More news outlets were angry at the REPORT about McCain’s ethics (and potential affair) than were angry at him (or even wanted to investigate him).

    A barage of positive spin for McCain is, I feel, even more likely to turn a fundie vote around than simply hating Clinton (although that will always be a part).

  6. Troy Says:

    At 71 years old (with a 96 year old mother) McCain isn’t exactly at death’s door but I often wondered maybe the miracle Huckabee was waiting for was for him to keel over and voila, miracle, he’s the new nominee. (And yes it could still happen, November is 8 months away, what would happen then?!)

    My understanding is the otherwise unemployed Huck was using the campaign to keep him in the speech business. Hey, I’m sure it pays better than a Sunday pastor gig.

    I’m not completely certain, but I think this will be a democratic year, and McCain will never be our president.

  7. Ron Britton Says:


    You have much more confidence in the Democratic party than I do. The only thing they’ve proven skilled at is losing elections.

  8. Brian Says:


    Very, very true. I fear that all Clinton’s mudslinging will accomplish is to hand the presidency to McCain on a silver platter. Think about that for a second, and then consider that if McCain wins, he will succeed a president of his own party, a man he has figuratively and literally embraced, who happens to be the worst president in modern history. She will either hand McCain enough ammo to distract us from what Obama is trying to say, or she’ll be the nominee herself (undoubtedly through nefarious, underhanded means) and all of us who for once felt some optimism about a presidential candidate will stay home on election day disgusted with our paltry choices. Hillary Clinton only cares about being the president, she is willing to do just about anything to that end, and there are enough people out there to help her along. Once again it must be said: “Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups”.

  9. Parrotlover77 Says:

    As unsavory as Clinton has been acting, if she gets the nomination, I still cannot imagine how anybody could come to the decision that it is better to stay home than to vote. Can anybody possibly think that McCain is a BETTER choice than Clinton? And make no mistake, not voting IS a vote for McCain.

    Clinton may not be ideal for a lot of people (remember that she IS ideal for many), but let’s get real for a second. Despite how you feel about how she’s been acting, she will govern further to the left than McCain ever would! Handing the election to McCain could very well destroy what little liberties we have left! You think there’s a problem NOW with Creationism in the classroom? What until McCain nominates a few more Supreme Court justices and tilts the court FURTHER to the Dark Ages.

    I am an Obama supporter since Edwards dropped out of the race. And, by god, if Clinton gets the nomination I will flip-flop to Clinton’s side SO FAST your head will spin. This election is too important to not vote for the “better of two bads” so-to-speak.

    Most Americans want their candidates to not do unsavory things – this is true. But one could easily argue that the way the system is set up, Clinton is simply getting to the mud (which statistically DOES work) before her opponent and that could, in fact, be an advantage.

    Again, I like Obama better, but I’m being realistic here. I don’t want to live in a theocracy and have 100 years of war with the middle east. Given a choice between McCain and Clinton, Clinton is LIGHT YEARS ahead of McCain.

  10. Brian Says:


    I’m afraid we’ll have to agree to disagree. Vote for her, if you wish, but don’t expect anything to change for the better. And besides, if she’s light years ahead of McCain, what’s the danger of people like me who don’t want either of them in the White House staying home? Won’t the obvious benefits of her presidency be on full display for all voters to see? Would she really be so weak as to be threatened by people like me who have come to expect something more in our presidents? I’ve survived George Bush, and while I don’t like McCain, he’s not as crazy or as stupid as Bush. I’m sorry, but I refuse to vote for someone I do not want in the White House, and I am sick of having to choose the lesser of the two evils.

    If you think Hillary Clinton could accomplish something good, then vote for her, but don’t overlook the fact that the RNC is drooling at the prospect of a Clinton nomination, and would be positively giddy over the chance to sabotage another Clinton presidency and put themselves back into power.

    Which brings me to the Congress. You mentioned the Supreme Court, and I share your fears of an extremely conservative bench. But remember that the Senate is very likely to have more Democrats in it after this election, especially if McCain wins, and would not be very accomodating to another far-right justice.

    I agree that McCain is worse than Clinton, but that seems to be the only justification for voting for her. Disagree with me all you want, but I’m not holding my nose to vote again.

  11. Parrotlover77 Says:

    If the Senate Democrats have proved one thing, it’s that they are pushovers. The small minority of true liberals is not enough to prevent a Supreme Being Court emerging from the previous Supreme Court. The House Democrats are far better, but they don’t have the power to block nominations.

    Stay home if you want, but don’t go whining when we are in Iraq from another 4 years, Roe v Wade is overturned, and Intelligent Design is taught side-by-side with evolution across the nation…