As you’ve all heard by now, Mike Huckabee finally gave up his hopeless quest for the White House on Tuesday. He will now return to his hopeless quest of waiting for Jesus to return.
I don’t have a whole lot to say about his dropping out other than I’m glad it’s finally over. I am concerned about what plans he has for the future. I doubt that McCain will tap him for the VP slot, although McCain does need to do something to appease the fundie crowd.
Tony Perkins Thinks I Value His Opinion
Today I received an email from Tony Perkins of the Fundie Research Council. The first part of the email is titled “Huckabye”. He says some interesting things here, so I thought it would be worth examining it. He writes:
To succeed in his bid for the White House, McCain must consolidate his support among conservatives, including social conservatives, which will not happen just because he is the Republican nominee.
I hear that a lot from fundies right now, but talk is cheap and the election is still eight months away. When November 4th rolls around and they’re in the booth staring at the names:
- John McCain
- Hillary Clinton
who do you think they’re going to vote for? Many conservatives and probably most fundies dislike McCain, but they absolutely despise Clinton.
Some pundits have suggested that a lot of “social conservatives” (i.e. fundies) will choose to stay home that day. Believe me. Nothing motivates a fundie more than the opportunity to spread their hate. The Republican nominee could be Richard Dawkins, but all of the fundies would still turn out in swarms to vote for him anyway, because what they’d really be doing is voting against Hillary Clinton. And that will feel so good!
Tony Perkins’ email continues:
A poll released last month by George Barna revealed that if the election were held then, only 45 percent of Evangelicals would vote for a Republican candidate.
Again, talk is cheap. A pollster calls them up on the telephone. It’s anonymous. They don’t even have to look the pollster in the eye. It’s real easy to say things they don’t mean. They may even think they won’t vote for the Republican at the time they’re answering the survey, but when they’re staring at the prospect of another Clinton in the White House, they’ll camp out in front of their polling place weeks in advance, like an evangelical Harry Potter line.
That number is down from 85 percent of Evangelicals who voted for George W. Bush in 2004.
If you were wondering how Bush managed to get re-elected despite all of the atrocities he committed, there’s your answer. The so-called “values voters” don’t have any values. If they did, they would not tolerate torture, suspension of the Fourth Amendment, being lied into an unnecessary war, etc. All they want is to overturn Roe v. Wade and keep those dirty, filthy homos from having butt-sex within a legally-sanctioned marriage. No matter what the cost.
John McCain will have to convince social conservatives that their issues matter and that he can talk about them as a candidate and act upon them as president.
That won’t be difficult. McCain has already managed to convince most Americans that he’s a maverick, straight-talking, moderate, incorruptible American hero. Blowing smoke up the fundies’ asses will be a piece of cake for him. (And the fundies will secretly enjoy the anal stimulation and freak out that they might be gay, thus forcing a constitutional amendment against anal smoking.)