Cabazon Dinosaurs: The Web Site

Looking up to Dinny

(From slworking2)

Since most of us can’t just hop in the car and take a quick jaunt over to Palm Springs to see the creationist dinosaurs, lets hop in our browser and take a quick jaunt over to their web site.

In typical fundie fashion, their home page is designed to be as hard on the eyes and ears as it is on the brain. The first thing that hits you is the awkward color scheme. The second thing is the crowded four-column layout. Four narrow columns of text, but pointlessly-wide margins. It’s not web 2.0, it’s web 0.2!

But the third thing that hits you, is their stupid animated masthead with dancing dinosaur, then below that a tiny animation of a dinosaur farting. I think it’s actually supposed to be the sound of the car that’s driving by. I guess it’s an audio Rorschach test. You hear what your brain thinks it’s hearing. I look at their web site, and all I see is a giant creationist turd being dumped in front of my eyes.

The first column contains some comments from their guestbook:

This place takes you back to pre-historic times.

OK.

This place is awesome.

Uh huh.

God rules, love His creation.

What? Why do fundies just drop God-bombs at random? It’s like a theistic Tourette’s syndrome.

Kids loved it.

Now that one is actually a subtle insult. “Well, the kids liked it, but the missus and I could barely keep from vomiting on your creationism signs.”

So big! Fantastic!

Oh, the statues are anatomically correct!

The second column on their home page has an unremarkable video. Below that, they tell us that they have rides! It’s a veritable creationist Disneyland! Well, more like Bizarro Disneyland. Where Disneyland has minimum height requirements, the Cabizarro Dinosaur rides have maximum height requirements:

Kiddies [sic] rides have height and weight restrictions.

I suspect this is the PZ Myers rule. They’re afraid he might visit.

The third column has the farting dinosaur. Below that, it says:

Add an educational element to your event!

I thought Barney was lame

By visiting a different museum?

Then they tell us you can hold your next party there. That is accompanied, without explanation, by the photo at right. I can only guess that is part of the entertainment for little Johnny’s party. For all we know, there is a defrocked Catholic priest in that costume, and he’s going to be at your kid’s party! Maybe that’s what they mean by “kiddie rides”!

(For the don’t-sue-me-record [i.e., you can be like Kevin Wirth and not sue me!], I’m sure there really is not a Catholic priest inside that costume. Instead, it is something far scarier: a fundie!)

The fourth column on their home page mentions their two dinosaurs and their dino dig, all of which have their own pages, which I hope to cover in the next couple of days. Stay tuned!

10 Responses to “Cabazon Dinosaurs: The Web Site”

  1. Cyc Says:

    Their own dig?! People with an attention span so short that they cannot grasp the basics of science have taken it upon themselves to become amateur paleontologists? Those who probably gained their qualifications by watching Jurassic Park a lot are working around priceless remains? As if destroying the minds of others was not enough they actually have to go and threaten the actual evidence that destroys their argument? I’m pissed now.

  2. Lindsay Says:

    Your third point made me laugh so hard I cried all while sitting at my cubicle. It does look like a farting dino. Maybe it wasn’t a meteor that took out dinos, but noxious fumes from dinos breaking wind.

    I loved the pre-historic times quote. I mean, wouldn’t the fundies NOT want that quote…it contradicts what the park is about! Dinos and humans living together.

  3. Jeff Says:

    Did you see this page?

    Apparently, the chief of pediatric medicine at Johns Hopkins is a creationist:

    “I just don’t have enough faith to believe” that the living world happened by evolutionary processes. He added that 150 years after Darwin, there is still no evidence for evolution.

    “It’s just not there. I find it requires too much faith for me to believe that [evolution] explanation given all the fossils we have found without any fossilized evidence of the direct, step-by-step evolutionary progression from simple to complex organisms or from one species to another species.

    I realize you can get through medical school and be a f*cking moron regarding everything outside of medicine – but Johns Hopkins? Really?

    It’s the end, boys and girls – if not of civilization, certainly of America.

    (Meanwhile, I trust he has enough integrity to stop prescribing antibiotics.)

  4. Doog Says:

    “…their home page is designed to be as hard on the eyes and ears as it is on the brain.” Pfft, hardly. I was just about skull fucked.

    @ Cyc- Looking at that site, i am confident thay are talking about a simulated dig, something many museums (real or otherwise) have. Unfortunately other creationists are not content with this. The demented wackos of Answers in Genesis actually go out to a site in Montana and look for fossils, led by Ken Ham’s butt pal Buddy Davis (you may know him from such “hit” songs as “Millions and milions of Dead Things”). Liberty University found a hadrosaur that they apparently display as being 4,000 years old. And then there was this travesty. For a guy who hopes to start his own museum, you can imagine that i find all this depressing to an almost unfathomable level…

  5. Ron Britton Says:

    Cyc:

    Don’t worry. It’s a fake dig. It fits perfectly with their fake facts.

    Lindsay:

    “Prehistoric” means before stuff was written down. Adam and Eve didn’t write anything down, and they shared Eden with coconut-munching T-Rexes.

    I don’t really know when the Bible allegedly gets into the time period where they had invented writing. The Egyptians had writing, so Exodus is actually “historic”. It would be historic without the snark quotes if anything in it matched up with actual history.

    Jeff:

    Religion is a funny thing. It creates massive blind spots in otherwise-intelligent people. It’s a lot like parenthood. You can have the ugliest baby the world has ever seen, and you’ll think it’s beautiful,and it’s every poop worth bronzing. Religion and parenthood: The two most common forms of mental illness.

    Doog:

    That’s all really sickening. Thanks for ruining my day. And thanks to the fundies for ruining priceless artifacts. It’s absolutely no different from the Taliban destroying those 6th-Century Buddha statues.

  6. Jeff Says:

    You know what galls me about the “faith’ bullshit? Whenever we back them into a corner regarding all of the stuff for which they don’t have answers – theodicy, contradictions in the Bible, etc. – they tell us it requires “faith”. Faith is the panacea; it solves all problems, and will keep you out of hell.

    However, when it comes to evolution, for which we do have answers, they immediately come back with, “Oh, I don’t have that much faith!” They don’t even think about what they’re saying (or much else); it’s a conditioned response.

    I HATE living in this country.

  7. Parrotlover77 Says:

    I went to this tourist trap in Boon, NC on the way to the mountains with my wife and in-laws. There were signs everywhere for gold panning and the way it was worded, it sounded as if they just got a whole crapload of leftover rocks from the mines nearby and you got to look for gold that slipped through the cracks. I was highly skeptical, but the wife wanted to play with gravel, so we went.

    The reality was that it was, literally, the same rocks that lined the road they were on as gravel, with a few colored rocks mixed in for good measure. Nothing was worth shit. You got a bucket of gravel, and then they turned on the water which washed down this long trough and you got the privilege of washing the sand off the gravel to expose a bunch of worthless rocks.

    Before we left I asked where the rocks came from and they sort of looked around and were like “well, we have suppliers from various places.” Sure.

    I’m sure those digs are as fulfilling as that was.

    @Ron – Your are my soul brother with regards to parenting. And I never heard about the statues. That is really depressing.

  8. RunawayLawyer Says:

    I think that last creature you posted might have evolved from the Sleestaks.

  9. Infidel753 Says:

    their stupid animated masthead with dancing dinosaur, then below that a tiny animation of a dinosaur farting.

    If you only knew how close you came to being billed for one almost-new keyboard, if I hadn’t (barely) managed to avoid spraying what I was drinking when I read that.

    Or maybe I’d have billed the creationists. It really does look like that. What a god(sic)awful site.

  10. Lindsay Says:

    LOL @ RunawayLawyer! Congrats for the first Land of the Lost quip in relation to the Cabazon Dino posts…it should have happened within the first day they were posted!