They Gloat

You're all going to burn in hell! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Outside a church in Salisbury, MD
(From TripAdvisor)

Things have gotten busy at work again, which has impaired my output here. Don’t they understand I have a blog to write? How dare they pay me for my time! I give it away for free here all the time.

I have a large article I’ve been trying to write for the last few weeks. Maybe I’ll have it done this weekend. In the meantime, I thought I’d keep you entertained with yet another church sign I found on the web.

Jeff is right. They do seem to enjoy the thought that they’re going to be floating on their cloud, eating Cheesy Poofs and swilling beer, while watching the rest of us writhe in eternal agony.

Of course, I enjoy the thought that they’re making themselves miserable in the only life they have. We’re all probably going to the same place anyway. We’re all ultimately going to end up just not existing. Kind of makes you not want to squander what little time you have. Somebody please pass the Cheesy Poofs.

Orange you glad?

17 Responses to “They Gloat”

  1. Parrotlover77 Says:

    Cheesy (or more apt, Cheezy) Poofs are teh awesome. Which is part of the reason I’m probably not going to make it to my late 90s, like Jack Lalane did. Oh well.

    Pass me the dried artificially flavored processed coagulated fat from cow’s milk with lots of salt sprinkled on top of fried processed bleached cornmeal please.

    Mmmmm…

  2. Ron Britton Says:

    PL:

    I had originally spelled it “Cheezy”, but Google insisted it was “Cheesy”. I probably should have looked for an actual package image to confirm it.

  3. Jeff Says:

    Jeff is right. They do seem to enjoy the thought that they’re going to be floating on their cloud, eating Cheesy Poofs and swilling beer, while watching the rest of us writhe in eternal agony.

    I’m tellin’ ya…

    I was going to say it might just be the result of their typically abysmal language skills, but then I looked at Romans 9:

    “I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion.”

    Plus that bit about the potter and the clay, which, for some reason, they all go nuts for.

    Yep, they’re garbage.

  4. Joules Says:

    [bemused] I (mis)read that sign as saying ‘Room 10, 9 dollars 10 (cents)’. Salvation’s cheap these days?

    (It took me 6 tries to get the captcha to work…)

  5. Troy Says:

    @Jeff The sign says Romans 10 verse 9 not Romans 9
    (I guess the $ means also verse 10? not sure)

    9 If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.
    10 For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved.

    Of course Romans is a letter written to the Church in Rome by that nut case Paul a guy who advocates lying for the faith and no doubt his religious experience was caused by epileptic seizures in the temporal lobes of his brain.

  6. Ron Britton Says:

    Joules:

    I hope that captcha problem was an isolated event. I have it on the easiest setting.

  7. Jeff Says:

    I think the “$” is supposed to be substituting for a “&” – or perhaps they can’t tell the difference. I assumed they meant Romans 9 and 10.

  8. Parrotlover77 Says:

    10 For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved.

    I just can’t get over God’s oral fixation. All of creation needs to repeatedly felate him for him to be happy, it seems.

    @Ron – Actually, as far as brand names are concerned, I think “cheesy” is right most places. I just am in this habit of using the “z” to indicate processed cheesefood stuffs that is fairly far removed from traditional cheese as we know it. Of course, that’s from “Cheez Whiz” which is a brand name emphasizing the zeeziness of their product.

    I am not a cheese snob. I actually really quite enjoy the modern factory made processed cheesefood products. But that doesn’t stop me from making fun of those uniquely American obesity causing items!

  9. Ron Britton Says:

    It turns out Google was right. It is spelled with an S!

    Cheesy Poofs

  10. Joules Says:

    [still bemused] … poof… unpleasant 70′s and 80′s British slang for a homosexual male (heh, showing my age now…) It certainly looks – unfortunate – to my eyes.

    Ron – it’s the strange blue slashes that confuse me. Are they part of the captcha? Do they indicate a space between letters, or that the letter across which they appear should be ignored? So many options… [grin] I’m sure I’ll work it out in the end!

    Edit – whee! Worked first time this time.

  11. Ron Britton Says:

    Joules:

    You’re supposed to ignore those blue slashes. Their purpose is to confuse the optical character recognition software that the spammers use.

    I actually find this captcha to be easier than most, but maybe that’s just me. I have a terrible time with that one where you have to type in the two words in the box. That’s impossible. It takes me 10 or more tries to get those.

  12. Parrotlover77 Says:

    @Ron – As long as the slashes are a different color from the real characters, the good OCRs can filter it easily and not be affected. But the truth is that most spammers don’t bother with CAPTCHAs because there are so many good non-CAPTCHA targets. The ones that do get through seem to no matter what CAPTCHA you use. I hear (but have not seem confirmed) that humans actually bypass CAPTCHAs for some spammers, employed from developing nations where they pretty much don’t have to pay them anything to do it. Imagine that job… Entering CAPTCHA codes all day!

    As for the double word CAPTCHAs, you may find it interesting that you don’t have to type it in perfectly always. Recaptcha, which I think is probably what you speak of since it’s so popular, actually allows a certain amount of misspelling. This is mainly due to the way it works. Part of recaptcha’s goal is to scan text accurately by using humans to translate it. So when you enter the captcha, some of it is known, so you need to match that, but some of it is unknown, so it uses that for generating more captcha sequences in the future by analyzing the most common way the word is translated by users.

    Clever, and for a good cause, but it seems to get bypassed too much on my blog and it’s a lot of effort for the user. So if it’s not better than shorter CAPTCHAs and it’s annoying, why keep it? I’m probably going to change to another one when I get the motivation.

    As for BoF’s CAPTCHA, I’ve noticed that if I open multiple tabs with BoF content, it will mess up the CAPTCHA unless I refresh it on each page. So my habit is to now click the refresh button before entering the code, no matter what. Since I’ve done that, I hardly ever get hung up on the CAPTCHA.

  13. OtherRob Says:

    I sadly abandoned my own blog a little less than two years ago — not because I wanted to, but because I just ran out of time each day. In hindsight, starting it up a then 4-month-old daughter probably wasn’t the greatest idea…

    I didn’t really have a spam problem until about a year ago, nearly a year after my first post. (I still have it set to email me whenever anyone posts a comment.) Sometimes I’d get 25 a day. So I went in and changed every comment to moderated. And I still kept getting it. I have no idea what the spammers were hoping to gain since no one saw their spam. Finally I set it so that you had to be registered to post a comment and didn’t provide a mechanism for registering. Haven’t had one since.

  14. Jeff Says:

    I have no idea what the spammers were hoping to gain since no one saw their spam.

    It’s all automated. They use bots. If they make one sale per 10,000 or even 100,000 emails, it’s still profitable, as it costs them nothing, apart from the initial outlay for the software.

    It should be an international crime – punishable, preferably, by death.

  15. Parrotlover77 Says:

    The additional google relevance weight by having lots of sites linking to their site is also a consideration. The trick is to use the rel=”nofollow” tag and then that negates the traffic boost for commenters.

  16. OtherRob Says:

    Well I put a stop to ‘em. :)

    If I ever resurrect (heh) that blog I’ll be sure to add the nofollow tag to any links that appear in the comments.

  17. Ron Britton Says:

    PL:

    WordPress automatically adds the rel=”nofollow” tag to all links inside comments. Maybe some other blogging software doesn’t, so it’s still beneficial for the spammers to keep spamming.

    I found out about that rel=”nofollow” tag a couple of years ago. Ever since (when I remember), I add it to all of my articles that link to fundie websites. It always bothered me that I was actually helping the fundies by increasing their Google page rank. Now I can ridicule them knowing that (at least in that respect) I’m not boosting their search traffic.