Sometimes the Comedy Writes Itself
I was skimming the archive over at Dr. Joan Bushwell’s Chimpanzee Refuge. I found a hilarious post from 2007 about the American Decency Association. That article directs us to “How to Deal with Sexual Desires as a Single”.
I’ll just reprint it here without comment. This is the ADA’s advice to the single person. This is how you can stay on the straight and narrow and avoid falling into moral depravity.
How to deal with sexual desires as a single
1. Do not seek sexual gratification through masturbation.
2. Do not seek sexual satisfaction through touching or being touched by another person even if you stop short of sexual intercourse.
3. Avoid unnecessary sexual stimulation.
4. When the stimulation comes and the desire starts to rise, consciously focus on the cross of Christ instead.
5. Pray that God would give you, in-ever increasing strength, a longing to know and love and obey him above all else.
6. Bathe your mind in God’s Word.
7. Keep yourself busy, and when it is time for leisure, choose things that are pure, lovely, gracious, excellent, worthy of praise. (Phil.4.8)
8. Don’t spend too much time alone.
9. Strive to think of all people, especially people of the opposite sex, in relation to eternity.
10. Resolve to seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and he will add to you everything you need sexually.