Muslim Drowning Burkas

Burkini

(Image from Bare Naked Islam)

I normally spare Muslims from my snark. It’s not because I’m afraid of being Jihaded or anything. It’s the religion of piece, after all. Usually one piece is all that’s left of them after they express their displeasure with somebody.

The oppressed 50% of the Muslim population isn’t allowed to show much skin, because apparently men are just uncontrollable raging gonads with legs that will fly into a berserker raping fury at the tiniest sight of female skin.

As a result, we end up with obscenities like you see in the above picture: The Burkini. That has to restrict movement. How long before we’ll see a woman drowning in one of those?

I came across the website of a company selling these abominations. These ones are called “Modestkinis”. Can you imagine trying to swim in this?

Modestkini

Why not just lock her into a straightjacket and throw her in the river, Houdini-style? She’d probably stand a better chance of surviving.

It used to be that all of the best fashions were designed for the skinny prisoners of Muhammad. No more! Now you can be fat and fashionable while you surrender completely to patriarchal oppression. Introducing plus sizes:

Plus-size Modestkini

What I love about this picture is they blurred out the face of the model. The whole web site is a crime scene. It’s like we’re watching Cops, and they’re blurring out the faces of the perps (in this case, though, these are the victims).

But was it really necessary to blur her face? If she’s that embarrassed to be seen wearing this crap, they should have found somebody else. There are a lot of hungry plus-sized models—

Let me rephrase that. There are a lot of unemployed plus-sized models who would be happy for the work.

The site doesn’t discriminate. If you’re a man, you can wear more fabric than necessary, too:

Man-sized Modestkini

I thought Muslims weren’t allowed to shave.

That would include the chest.

Finally, they also sell prisonwear for young girls:

Girl-sized Modestkini

That’s so you can train them to accept the lie that their bodies are owned by the men in their life.

64 Responses to “Muslim Drowning Burkas”

  1. Ron Britton Says:

    PL:

    I need a Ron Britton spell check for the rest of my life. I typed “bibul” in the post up there just as a funny misspelling of “bible” like I sometimes do (similar to “Jebus”) and he goes and corrects it to “bibull”

    I’d love to take credit for that, but I really don’t think I did that. Maybe you typed it quickly and you subconsciously added the extra L.

    Or maybe I sleep-correct this blog in the middle of the night. (I have enough sleep disorders, that is actually possible.)

    I’m pretty sure that photograph is real. There are a few others like it floating around. It’s possible it was staged by one of the comedy websites.

    I wonder how many are drawn to the man and not the movement?

    One of the characteristics of cults is the charismatic leader. Another is the sense of family they provide to the vulnerable. In this case, the husband might fulfill the charismatic leader roll, and therefore the exact same psychology comes into play.

  2. Jeff Says:

    Because perhaps revoking their right to vote is maybe a little bit worse than them complaining about bus ads?

    I don’t want to take away their voting privileges because of the ads, I want to do it because they’re goddamn morons!

    Stupid & insane people shouldn’t be voting. They should be regarded as wards of the state – cared for, certainly, but not allowed to influence the course of civilization (or what’s left of it). Quarantine them, and let them have their little theocracy until Jesus comes in his Suburban to take them home from their play date.

  3. sue blue Says:

    Love the photo-shoot! “Why does he always want to take a picture when I’m wearing my frumpiest burqa?”. “Damn—forgot the red-eye setting again!” “Wait, honey—does this burqa make me look fat?” “Oh, look at Fatima there with the silver braid on her burqa—always has to show the rest of us up, doesn’t she? Bitch.” “Check out this new Coach handbag. Really goes well with my new black burqa, don’t you think?”

  4. Lindsay Says:

    Well, at least if you are having a bad hair day or are feeling fat no one will notice :-p

  5. Parrotlover77 Says:

    Stupid & insane people shouldn’t be voting. They should be regarded as wards of the state – cared for, certainly, but not allowed to influence the course of civilization (or what’s left of it). Quarantine them, and let them have their little theocracy until Jesus comes in his Suburban to take them home from their play date.

    How about we compromise, give them Texas, and then quarantine the whole damn state a la Escape From New York?

  6. Jeff Says:

    I’ll be even more generous – give ’em the whole damn South. They seem to have an affinity for it, and it isn’t as though it’s of much use for anything else, anyway.

    They’re operating at the developmental level of children. Even if I’m wrong about the neurological foundation of fundamentalism (and I’m not), this is indisputable. Why do we reward them for insisting upon remaining in a state of arrested development by treating the as though they’re capable of making rational, well-reasoned decisions?

    This should have been a republic, in the classic form, from the beginning. Let’s turn it into one now, but instead of the elite class being comprised of wealthy landowners, let’s restrict it to people who have a fucking brain.

  7. Lindsay Says:

    Can we at least Austin out? Make it like Berlin…you can either get there by air or have one road going in and out. Put heavily guarded former Stasi and Soviet army members there to make sure the fundies don’t get out.

  8. sue blue Says:

    I don’t know, Jeff. According to recent polls, 40% of Americans claim to believe in creationism. If true, this means that nearly half the population are shallow, simple-minded, childish, gullible, ignorant or otherwise mentally challenged. Half of us! Plus, fundamentalists seem to breed like rabbits, which means a southern Dumbfuckistan would quickly burgeon into a horribly overcrowded, restless and discontent third-world hell-hole. We’d probably have to spend trillions constantly defending our borders and sending humanitarian aid. Paranoid xenophobia would quickly explode (we see this already in Arizona and Texas), given that they’d feel intensely threatened by the “brown hordes” to the south in Mexico, and by the evil, godless liberal Socialists to the north. Who knows what a hard-pressed rabble like that might do?

  9. Jeff Says:

    Plus, fundamentalists seem to breed like rabbits, which means a southern Dumbfuckistan would quickly burgeon into a horribly overcrowded, restless and discontent third-world hell-hole.

    I forget to mention they shouldn’t be allowed to breed, either.

    I think part of that 40% could be educated. As for the rest – I know this is a nation of abject imbeciles. This is the problem. This is why we need to give natural selection a little boost.

  10. Lindsay Says:

    You get the babies and young children (say younger than 6) out and educate them before their fundie parents can do much damage. Some of them will likely not have genetics on their side but at least they wouldn’t be turned into a Jesus zombie.

  11. Jeff Says:

    Some of them will likely not have genetics on their side

    I think most won’t have genetics on their side, but I’d willing to give them a shot – but, what do we do, take children away from parents? It would traumatize them. Better to keep them together, I think, but stop the breeding. Make educational resources available to them. Those who are capable of getting out, will. Those who aren’t can fade away waiting for the Rapture.

  12. Parrotlover77 Says:

    I’ll be even more generous – give ‘em the whole damn South. They seem to have an affinity for it, and it isn’t as though it’s of much use for anything else, anyway.

    But I rather like the weather down here. And Florida’s oranges are absolutely divine.

    As for the rest – I know this is a nation of abject imbeciles. This is the problem. This is why we need to give natural selection a little boost.

    Nothing like Jeff to spread some winter solstice joy!! Feliz Navidad!

    Jeff – I may think you are two steps from fascist, but I do enjoy your posts.

  13. Jeff Says:

    Jeff – I may think you are two steps from fascist, but I do enjoy your posts.

    That many?

  14. OtherRob Says:

    One of the characteristics of cults is the charismatic leader. Another is the sense of family they provide to the vulnerable.

    I think there are a lot of people out there who genuinely want to believe in something bigger than themselves or who believe that there is something like that out there, but they don’t know what it is. And when someone comes along who can offer that, they grab onto it regardless of how little sense it makes.

    We are not taught critical thinking skills in this country — I know that mine are not as developed as I’d like them to be — and when someone comes along that provides answers to questions that someone has it can have a surprisingly powerful attraction.