I received a phone call a couple of days ago. When I answered, there was a long silence. This is the mark of an automated dialer. I’m on the FTC’s Do Not Call list, so I knew this was either some scumbag company that ignores the list, or Jay Sekulow. Sekulow runs Pat Robertson’s anti-ACLU. They call me every so often. I wrote about the first time they called me in this article.
I usually tell them that they’re a bunch of anti-freedom fanatics and hang up. Oddly, that doesn’t stop them from calling me again a few months later. One measure of intelligence is the ability to learn. I don’t think these people are capable of learning.
So last weekend, they called me again. After the long silence, a fundie woman came on the line.
Fundie: Is this Ron Britton?
Me: What do you want?
Fundie: This is [some forgettable fundie name] calling on behalf of Jay Suckulow [It really did sound like she said “suck-ulow”!] of the American Center for Law and Justice. I’m calling regarding an urgent issue.
Me: Oh, I’m sure it is!
Then she proceeded to tell me that there was some sort of bill in Congress (or more likely proposed by one Congressman in some sub-committee that it will never get out of) that was “threatening the right to life.”
OK, I thought. I know how to end this conversation.
Me: That’s alarming. I absolutely want to preserve the right to choose.
Fundie: So we’d like you to help us get the word out.
Odd, I thought. Did she not hear what I just said?
Fundie: We’d like to send you some letters that you can mail to 15 of your friends and relatives to warn them about this bill. Can we count on you to do that?
Maybe she needs me to be more explicit.
Me: If you’re as pro-abortion as I am, I will absolutely remail your letters.
Fundie: Yes we are.
She then confirmed my address by reading it to me out of her database. It can’t be a very good database if it has me in it. I confirmed that that was my address.
Fundie: Look for the package to arrive in early December. Thank you for your help.
She hung up.
Wow. Jay Sekulow and the ACLJ are pro-abortion! Woohoo! And I have the scoop! Breaking news! Stop the blogs! The radical right now supports abortion rights! You heard it here first!
I expected that to be the end of it, until the letters arrive in a week or two. Unless there’s something blogworthy in it, it’s going straight into the recycle bin. I see they’re not so “pro-life” that they won’t abort trees!
But that wasn’t the end of it! The very next day, they called me back. This time, it was a different fundie on the line. She was calling to confirm that I had agreed to remail their propaganda. I suspect they do this with everyone. It’s probably a psychological reinforcement trick, to give them a higher compliance rate. She said:
Fundie: This is [some other forgettable fundie name] calling from the American Center for Law and Justice. I’d just like to confirm that you agreed to mail our letter about the threat to babies to 15 of your friends and relatives.
Me: What kind of a Christian would I be if I didn’t remail the letters?
Fundie: OK! Thank you very much!