BJ’s Dirty Laundry

Donald Wildmon finally gets a BJ

BJ and Donald Wildmon

Bill Johnson, self-anointed righteous defender against pornography, sends me an email every few days.

(BTW, I went online to verify the spelling of “anointed”. Here’s Merriam-Webster’s definition: “to smear or rub with oil or an oily substance”. That must be why BJ is so afraid of porn. It causes him to self-anoint every time he sees it.)

His latest rant is titled “Who Will Speak For The Children?” Let’s have a look:

Having been out of the small child rearing aspect of life for quite awhile now….

But if you’ve ever reared a small child, you belong in jail.

I can easily come up with a short list of what I don’t want for them:

He then gives us his laundry list of horrible things:

I don’t want them to be degenerates, fornicators, adulterers, homosexuals, bisexuals, lazy, godless, gamblers, dependent upon the government, sluggards, neutralized by gross financial indebtedness, self-centered, egotistical or self-righteous.

Whoa! Slow down there, anointer! You’ll climax too quickly. Let’s take a look at this list.

I don’t want them to be degenerates,…

The Free Dictionary defines “degenerate” as: “Having fallen to an inferior or undesirable state, especially in mental or moral qualities.”

What would a degenerate look like? Someone who has fallen to an inferior mental state?

Degenerate

“Degenerate” is such a crude word.
BJ should have more self respect.

…fornicators, adulterers,…

An unnatural and unholy act

That depends on the circumstances. If by fornication he means premarital sex, it’s actually healthy. Somebody who doesn’t engage in that (for so-called “moral” reasons) is seriously repressed.

Adultery is usually bad (if deception and betrayal are involved), so I’ll let him have that. (Yes, BJ, you can have adultery!)

…homosexuals, bisexuals,…

You’ll just have to love them the way they are, BJ. Sexual orientation is not something you have a lot of control over (except possibly by keeping them out of Seattle).

Seattle, the gay way

…lazy,…

One example of which would be starting a “charity” that allowed you sponge off of donations and sit around all day writing screeds about “pornography” in Cosmopolitan magazine and Victoria’s Secret catalogs, instead of getting a real job like the rest of us.

…godless,…

Right. We wouldn’t want them to think for themselves or see the world unfiltered by superstition.

Can’t have that.

…gamblers,…

Well, gambling in and of itself isn’t bad. It’s only when done to excess.

Of course, BJ is the biggest gambler of them all. He has wagered his very own soul that he has chosen the right religion! There are thousands of other religions, after all. If he’s wrong (and the odds say that he is), he might find himself cast into eternal torment by the real god.

Or, more likely, he’s just wasting his time praying to a non-existent figment of humanity’s warped imagination.

…dependent upon the government,…

In what way? We all depend upon the government to provide for essential services. The government also provides a valuable social safety net, in the form of unemployment insurance, welfare, etc.

I suspect that’s what is bothering BJ. He hates it when people take money from the government. After all, he would never do such a thing. Not BJ, and his little church. It’s not like his little church’s tax exemption is identical to getting a government subsidy.

Oh, that’s right. It is.

…sluggards,…

I actually had to look this word up. It’s a synonym for “lazy”, which BJ has already used.

Is your list becoming too much work to create now, BJ, so you have to start repeating yourself? Sluggard!

…neutralized by gross financial indebtedness,…

People like Robert Schuller, for example!

…self-centered,…

Oh, definitely! I hate people who are self-centered. Such as those who believe that this enormous universe of 100 billion galaxies, each with 100 billion stars, was created by a god just for them. (A god who looks just like them, by the way.)

…egotistical…

A lot like self-centered. A lot like he’s repeating himself. A little like a sluggard.

…or self-righteous.

I agree with him there! I hate the self-righteous. I’m pretty sure I saw two of them earlier today. Somewhere.

BJ and Wildmon

2 Responses to “BJ’s Dirty Laundry”

  1. L.Long Says:

    I always find that when the religious use a list of things not to do, it tends to be self-descriptive for the most part.

  2. RJ Says:

    Zing! Very nicely done.