Bad Fundies!

And in the Bat Cave, Robin spanks Batman. Kinky!

(Image from Comically Vintage)

I’ve spent the last hour looking for a good fundie “news” article to rip apart. I’ve come up empty-handed. This is happening to me more and more often. Everything they’re writing these days is so derivative. It’s all the same old crap.

“Contraception is abortion!”

“America was founded by and populated exclusively by Christians!”

“The Anti-Christ is FDR Truman JFK LBJ Jimmy Carter Bill Clinton Obama!”

Don’t they have any originality? Must they be so predictable?

Come on, fundies! Say something especially stupid for a change! Make my job easy again! Every time I think I’m getting jaded, that I’m merely over-exposed to their idiocy, I think back to the glory days of the 1980s and 1990s when Jerry Falwell thought one of the Teletubbies was gay and Donald Wildmon thought Mighty Mouse was snorting cocaine.

The conservatives are right. America has lost its way. Its glory days are behind us. Even the fundies aren’t as good as they used to be.

17 Responses to “Bad Fundies!”

  1. J. A. Baker Says:

    Say, are you ever going to finish up the “Darwin Was Wrong series?” It’d be a good way to pass the time waiting for the fundies to spew some new nonsensical glurge.

  2. Jeff Eyges Says:

    Don’t they have any originality

    Seriously? That’s more improbable than evolution! ;o)

  3. OtherRob Says:

    Even the fundies aren’t as good as they used to be.

    Wait, shouldn’t we be celebrating this? :)

  4. RunawayLawyer Says:

    Any parent can tell you – when the kids get really quiet, that’s when you need to worry.

  5. Ron Britton Says:

    J.A. Baker:

    A request! Somebody actually wants to read those! Yes, I have every intention of finishing off that series. The problem is those articles take quite a while to write. I can only do that on weekends, which have been super busy. I’ll try very hard to squeeze one out this weekend.

  6. Ron Britton Says:

    OtherRob:

    Wait, shouldn’t we be celebrating this?

    Fundies are at least as dangerous now as they’ve ever been. The problem is that they seem to be learning to be a bit more astute (or maybe the inastute ones are just dying off).

    It’s when they make the colossally bone-headed statements that mainstream America says “WTF?!!!” We need more moments like that to make more people realize that fundies are a fringe element and shouldn’t be listened to.

  7. Parrotlover77 Says:

    I think it’s posible right now they are too busy hating brown people (see Arizona immigration bill) to make any boneheaded religious statements.

    I’m not sure they are necessarily quieter right, just refocusing their hatred and fear.

  8. Sarah Says:

    What about Jill “the Chinese eat aborted fetii” Stanek? I mean okay, it’s basically a retread of “Jews are making matzo out of Christian babies” from like a thousand years ago. But you have to give her props for saying things so insane that everyone else stopped publicly professing them before the Mayflower sailed.

    And now she’s teamed up with the anti-vaxx nutters and is claiming that vaccines are made of aborted fetii. Which is especially awesome, because the anti-vaxx brigade is at least on the surface a bunch of librul HipMoos. (Although when you dig beneath the skin it all stems from the same “women suck” attitude.)

  9. TB Tabby Says:

    I’ve got good news for you…

    Kent is back…and he’s snapped!

  10. S. Says:

    Kent still thinks he can cheat his way out of his misdeeds..no surprise there!

  11. sue blue Says:

    Well, we can always dig into the various and sundry stupidities perpetrated by Bible-belt politicians, can’t we? They’re a regular cornucopia of face-palm moments – at least one or two a day – not to mention outrages like the Oklahoma abortion legislation now floating around like the turd that won’t flush down. Oh, shit, did I mention abortion? That ought to draw ‘em back out for one more round of frothing.

  12. sue blue Says:

    For your moment of outrage, here’s the link to the crap mentioned above. Unbelievable.

  13. Parrotlover77 Says:

    And now she’s teamed up with the anti-vaxx nutters and is claiming that vaccines are made of aborted fetii. Which is especially awesome, because the anti-vaxx brigade is at least on the surface a bunch of librul HipMoos. (Although when you dig beneath the skin it all stems from the same “women suck” attitude.)

    Wow! And all this time, I thought chicken embryos were used to make vaccines. Little did I know that TINY HUMAN FETUSES were inside the eggs!

  14. Jeff Eyges Says:

    Sue, there is a tiny ray of hope – most of the comments are against the legislation. I thought this one, from “OkieGirl”, was one of the most eloquent:

    Do you people really think this will reduce abortions? It won’t. It might scare some young, unprepared mothers into not having one but then these uneducated (thanks to you for voting down tax increases to help schools and voting in measures that secure an “abstinence only” lesson), ill-prepared (she is following your backwards example no doubt), terrified young women will just leave their babies in dumpsters or kill them. Then, we will put all these moms in jail where you’ll complain about tax dollars keeping them alive; Another Oklahoma method for making criminals and then punishing them. The babies that do make it will live sub-par lives and are statistically likely to have babies in their teens too. Way to go, Oklahoma legislature. High five. This is a joke and just a ploy to get the REAL “sheeple” to the voting booths. Stop legislating morality and start fixing the real problems.

  15. sue blue Says:

    I agree, the comments were great. It must really suck to be that intelligent and reasonable and have to put up with halfwit legislators like that. I liked the comments that pointed out how the Bible-bangin Repubs and their teabagger pals are so dead-set against “government” interference in healthcare and their precious bodies, yet so eager to get the government into women’s bodies. It’s been pointed out time and time again that they apparently have no understanding of irony.

  16. Jeff Eyges Says:

    It’s been pointed out time and time again that they apparently have no understanding of irony.

    Experience has taught me it’s the most universal identifying mark of fundamentalists of all varieties. Their minds seem to lack subtlety.

  17. Shannon Says:

    I happened by via another blog – I think I can help:

    http://eternian.wordpress.com/

    If this guy doesn’t inspire a good fundy-slapping dance, I don’t know what will.

    Be warned – the crazy is strong with this one.