Keep the Government Out of Our Lives! Keep Marijuana Illegal!

An accurate documentary

Fundie-run anti-government “news” site OneNeuronNow has published another one of their fair and balanced articles, this one telling us that an initiative to legalize marijuana in California has qualified for the November ballot.

It’s comical to see OneNeuronNow run an article about teabaggers screaming about protecting personal freedoms, and then the very next article talks about how important it is to dictate to people which agricultural products they can use or grow on their own property.

It boils down to control. The only way fundies can remain in power and not be relegated to the dustbin of worthless ideas is to control people’s natural desires. They’ve been doing it since the invention of religion. It has been an extremely powerful weapon in their arsenal. Anything that chips away at their stockpile of weapons is a threat to their power. Hence, their opposition to the legalization of marijuana (and gay marriage, pornography, etc.).

Let’s take a look at their latest disgrace to journalism:

Opponents of the initiative are concerned that legalizing marijuana will increase addiction to the drug and also cause additional violence along the Mexican border.

It’s true that with easier access more people will try the stuff, and some percentage of those will use it to excess. That’s why we need fundies a government: To micromanage our lives, interfere with our personal freedoms, and take away individual responsibility.

Like alcohol, which was once banned in the United States and then legalized, they argue that marijuana usage will be widespread, increasing criminal activity and creating social problems in the long run.

That’s right! All of society’s alcohol-related problems started the moment Prohibition was lifted! There were no alcoholics before then. And crime was virtually non-existent! There were no mobsters or gangland slayings or bootlegging or rum-running. Life was idyllic.

Alexandra Datig, an opponent of the bill, told the PR Newswire the consequences of legalizing the drug in California.

ONN is really getting bold with their one-sided reporting. PR Newswire is just a press-release service. It doesn’t even masquerade as news. ONN is telling us, point-blank, that they just rip propaganda out of press releases and present it as news.

I’ve never seen fundies so honest before!

“Drug addiction is an epidemic and marijuana is a silent killer,” Datig said.

It’s so silent that I haven’t even heard of it! Notice the clever sleight of hand he’s doing here. First, he refers to the widespread addiction of all drugs, then implies that marijuana is a major component of that problem.

“For California to legalize marijuana would further contribute to the harms that addiction brings upon our youth, our families, and our communities.”

Notice how Datig keeps equating use with addiction. By his reckoning, there must be about 200 million alcoholics in this country.

The Washington Post states that the results of the November vote on the initiative will have a direct impact on the nation’s capital, as in the case of same-sex “marriage.” All these measures were fought in California and eventually made their way to Washington, DC.

Leave it to the fundies to always find a way to bring any subject back to their favorite whipping boy (in this case, the boy might like it!), gay marriage.

[Opponents of the initiative argue] that not only will legalizing the drug give growers the freedom to sell and distribute the drug, the initiative will make it more available to teenagers.

And we all know how hard it is for teenagers to get marijuana. Here’s a picture I took of my high school (circa 1979):

Seriously. This isn't far from the truth.

20 Responses to “Keep the Government Out of Our Lives! Keep Marijuana Illegal!”

  1. The Skeptic Wept Says:

    Let’s give them an alternative! If they don’t want to legalize marijuana let’s tax churches instead. Now there’s a money maker…

  2. WMDKitty Says:

    Marijuana? ADDICTION? *ROFL*

  3. OtherRob Says:

    It’s comical to see OneNeuronNow run an article about teabaggers screaming about protecting personal freedoms, and then the very next article talks about how important it is to dictate to people which agricultural products they can use or grow on their own property.

    That’s one of the things that really bugs me about social/religious conservatives. They want the government out of their lives…and into everyone’s bedroom. Drives me nuts.

  4. Jerad Says:

    See, when I was a teen I had a hard time getting cigarettes, but could get as much pot as I wanted at any time of the day. I guess I just didn’t know the right people to get me the legal stuff.

  5. TB Tabby Says:

    Wanna see how dangerous marijuana is? Just Google the phrase “died of a marijuana overdose.”

    Seriously, though, the real reason drugs are so dangerous is because of the War on Drugs. The ban on legal drugs has created a thriving black market for illegal drugs, and the methods used to enforce the ban are completely draconian. People are getting gunned down left and right by overzealous narc squads, prisons are stuffed to overcrowding, and worst of all, the drug addiction rate hasn’t changed. Drugs are bad…but the War on Drugs is far worse.

  6. RunawayLawyer Says:

    Never been a smoker, but I’m fine with legalizing it, putting an age limit on it, and taxing it – it would be a great income source for the government, the product would be safer to get, and as mentioned, the millions of dollars spent to outlaw it could be better spent on something actually constructive. I’ve never understood why alcohol is legal and pot a huge no-no.

    On-point humor:

  7. Syldoran Says:

    Why aren’t they fighting to make cigarettes and alcohol illegal too? I admit I don’t know much about harmful marijuana effects (I’ve been told so much either way that I don’t even know anymore) but it seems like people are allowed to kill themselves through alcohol and cigarettes if they want, so why do we make the marijuana such a big deal? Legalize it, tax it, age-limit it–put it under some control and watch as crime goes down now that people can get their hands on it without shooting someone in the face first.

    Fun story: Someone in an airport near where I live was pulled out by security for having a suspected grenade in his suitcase. It turned out to be a marijuana grinder with marijuana still in it . . .

  8. Jeff Eyges Says:

    Why aren’t they fighting to make cigarettes and alcohol illegal too?

    Because the tobacco and alcohol industries pump a huge amount of money into Washington – and I wouldn’t be at all surprised if one of the conditions is that the pols keep marijuana illegal. They see it as competition. This was one of the reasons that it was criminalized in the first place. This applies to hemp as well, although in that case, the pressure came from Dupont; they’d developed synthetic alternatives to the products for which hemp was used. That’s why we have nylon today.

  9. Syldoran Says:

    Hmm . . . s’pose that makes sense from a capitalist standpoint, but my question remains more of why the FUNDIES aren’t fighting them. I mean, I know they aren’t fond of alcohol and cigarettes anyway, but there isn’t nearly as big a fight against those going on. Then again, fundies don’t make much sense anyway.

  10. Jeff Eyges Says:

    No, they don’t. Plus, they believe whatever they’re told.

  11. Andrew Says:

    I’ve got to say I just love the picture of your school. 🙂

  12. godlizard Says:

    Ok, the picture of your high school has me laughing like a maniac, I think I scared the dog.

    You know, the class of ’79 smoked more weed than any other class, ever. I know, I was there. Plus there’s an actual statistic somewhere that says that. Heck, we even had smoking lots at our high school! Smoking lots, dammit!

    But the financial crisis in California is pretty overwhelming right now, and I hope it’s become obvious to enough people that we aren’t going to get out of it without major changes. Legalizing marijuana isn’t just tax revenue, it’s also a huge savings in incarceration costs.

    However, the private prison industry is a pretty powerful lobby and you know damn well they’re funding a large amount of the opposition. They stand to lose a huge amount of revenue if we stop locking people up for selling pot.

  13. Ron Britton Says:


    I was actually class of ’80. I had to peg that photograph as 1979, because I was paroled early.

  14. Bart v.d. M. Says:

    Oppose that bill! You don’t know what legal marijuana does to the society. Here in the Netherlands all men have boobs and people have sex everywhere. Although that could be because gay marriage is legal…

  15. alex a Says:

    Because we all know that, if we legalize marijuana, organized crime will go rampant: everybody will be growing their own stuff, and… wait.

  16. damnedyankee Says:

    Did we go to the same school? The patterns of the billowing smoke somehow seem familiar…

  17. Parrotlover77 Says:

    Hmm . . . s’pose that makes sense from a capitalist standpoint, but my question remains more of why the FUNDIES aren’t fighting them.

    Oh, they will. Trust me.

    Jeff’s right on the political side. Republicans won’t do anything, just like they haven’t done jack at the federal level to “fight abortion” other than banning certain forms of cell stem research (wtf?).

    But this is just like the abortion issue. It doesn’t stop with abortion. They want to ban contraceptives, vasectomies, and then any sex without the intent of making babies. No, serious. I’m not joking.

    It’s just that Mary Jane is on the fringe right now. If they had it their way, the only alky you’d get is when you are drinking Jesus Blood. But probably not even then as fundies tend to prefer grape juice. Seriously.

  18. Jeff Eyges Says:

    I can’t imagine their secular cohorts giving up their martinis, though (or whatever it is rich, powerful WASPS drink these days).

  19. Parrotlover77 Says:

    Exactly. The republicans will never make it happen. But they will pay a lot of lip service to it if it ever became the next big ‘moral’ issue.

  20. nazani14 Says:

    I hate it when I can see both sides of an issue… I tend to think there would be an uptick in crime right after the legalization of weed, as gangs scrambled to fine new ways to make money. Also a lot of people driving at 15 MPH.