Two Religious Videos

Jeff Eyges alerted me to the first video below. The second one is by the same people. They’re worth a few minutes of your time.

The Holy Gospel of the Easter Bunny

Ultimate Praying Championship

14 Responses to “Two Religious Videos”

  1. Jeff Eyges Says:

    I actually saw it first on Ex-Christian.net.

    I was looking on Youtube through the comments left by outraged Christians, and found this guy.

    Turns out we only have a little more than a year left of making fun of Christians.

  2. Syldoran Says:

    Wait, so my poor puppies can’t have chocolate because one jerkass back in the past betrayed Peter Fluffybutt?

    Isn’t that so kind.

  3. Parrotlover77 Says:

    Jeff – When will they learn?! If you make predictions too close to the present, that means you have to make another prediction and get people to forget about the first one before you have established a good brainwashed following.

    What you need to do is set it out like 10 years. That way there’s a little bit of urgency, but plenty of time for brainwashing.

    So, how about we get in touch with him this time in 2011 and ask him wussup?

  4. Parrotlover77 Says:

    Wait, so my poor puppies can’t have chocolate because one jerkass back in the past betrayed Peter Fluffybutt?

    Isn’t that so kind.

    Yup, and that asshole forgot to make that rule only apply to dogs. Chocolate is also poisonous to cats, birds, and probably quite a few other animals. Damn.

  5. Ron Britton Says:

    And rats!

  6. Pete Moulton Says:

    That’s just more for us, the way I see it.

  7. Farnsworth Says:

    Pets go to heaven? That’s a good question for fundo Xians. I mean who wants to go to heaven if you have to leave your pets behind? With of course, the following caveats: Cats will go to hell immediately (can you say “Satanic familiar”?), and dogs…well, it’s curgatory for them.
    But the rest of the animals? Those that rely on you for their sustenance, and whose total existence seems to be to ensure that you will have something in your life that you can feel superior to…

  8. Parrotlover77 Says:

    That “After Humans” show on one of the various Discovery channels dealt with that exactly. Most pets would be dead in the first week, with no means of escape from the house and no food. The clever ones that can get into cabinets and such could live longer, but would probably not live long enough to find a mate and procreate.

    Those that did live on would be mostly strays, and the carefully artifical selection that led to numerous breeds would be wiped out in a few generations, with cats and dogs returning to shapes that actually provide them with a selective advantage.

    And then, on the “free market rules!” side of the equation, you have this:
    http://eternal-earthbound-pets.com/

  9. Ron Britton Says:

    The folly is thinking yourself a good artist

    ParrotLover:

    Coincidentally, our new crazy friend and excellent artist, James Spiegel of Atheists are Delusional fame, suggests that animals will be raptured along with the rest of us (except for you, you stinking atheist!).

    In “God Judges Animals?“, he writes:

    Recently, as I’ve been reading through the book of Genesis, a passage jumped out at me that I had overlooked before—Genesis 9:5. Amazingly, this verse refers to the fact that animals themselves will be judged. Getting a running start from verse 4, it reads like this:

    “You must not eat meat that has its lifeblood still in it. And for your lifeblood I will surely demand an accounting. I will demand an accounting from every animal. And from each man, too, I will demand an accounting for the life of his fellow man” [Italics in original]

  10. OtherRob Says:

    PL77:

    The clever ones that can get into cabinets and such could live longer, but would probably not live long enough to find a mate and procreate.

    Whether they managed to get outside or not, a large majority of pets wouldn’t be able to procreate. At least not those belonging to responsible pet owners.

  11. Parrotlover77 Says:

    “You must not eat meat that has its lifeblood still in it. And for your lifeblood I will surely demand an accounting. I will demand an accounting from every animal…

    Well, I’m happy to hear my beloved parrots will make it up to heaven for the most part (except the sociopathic ones that bite fingers off and so on), but I feel bad for cat lovers. Not too many kitties will be making it to heaven by that standard!

  12. Jeff Eyges Says:

    Homer: I want to tell you about the most wonderful place in the world: Doggie Heaven. In Doggie Heaven, there are mountains of bones, and you can’t turn around without sniffing another dog’s butt! And all the best dogs are there, Old Yeller, and about eight Lassies.

    Bart: Is there a Doggie Hell?

    Homer: Well… of course, there couldn’t be a heaven if there weren’t a hell.

    Bart: Who’s in there?

    Homer: Oh, uh… Hitler’s dog… and that dog Nixon had, what’s his name, um, Chester…
    Lisa: Checkers.

    Homer: Yeah! One of the Lassies is in there, too. The mean one! The one who mauled Timmy!

    - The Simpsons, Dog of Death, 1992

  13. OtherRob Says:

    And there’s the classic Twilight Zone episode where a hunter and his dog are drowned. When they arrive at the entrance to Heaven the dog starts barking and the gate keeper says no dogs allowed. The hunter says that he didn’t want to go to Heaven without his dog and keeps on walking. They keep walking and eventually come to another entrance. Turns out that this one is the actual entrance to Heaven and dogs are definitely allowed. The other entrance, of course, was the entrance to Hell and the man’s dog protected him from it.

  14. lolwut Says:

    I really laughed at healing a leopard. And at “You know, its a good thing God is real, otherwise all of this fighting would just be…”