Bad Santas, Part 1
Santa is angry, because the age
of consent in this state is 18.
The government spent millions of dollars during the Cold War to create the internet, and all we use it for today is to look at cat pictures. And porn. We won the Cold War, because the Soviet Union didn’t place enough value on getting free porn.
To the victor go the spoils! Cat pictures and porn for everyone! And pictures of dubious Santas.
One of the too many websites I was reading today is Miss Cellania. She provided links to two different blogs of questionable Santa photos. The first is called Sketchy Santas. It’s the cleaner of the two sites. It has lots of pictures of Santa Claus and the kids.
Many of the shots on that site are just of the little brats crying. I hate that. It seems like that’s all little kids do. They hide in airports, and when they see me boarding a plane, they follow me aboard and sit behind me. Movie theaters, too. They hide in the lobby. Then when they see me buying a ticket to an R-rated movie which shouldn’t have any kids in the audience, they follow me in and sit behind me. And shopping malls. And grocery stores. In fact, in all public places! They follow me everywhere. Crying! Crying!! Make it stop!!
One way you can get revenge on them is to let them visit Santa Claus, like the ones shown here. They’re perfectly normal Santas. Nothing weird about them at all! Take your kids to them! Maybe it will make them paranoid for a change.
is over that we can give him his keys back.
