The Lord DID Give Me a Sign!

Oral Roberts

I was planning to write the next Darwin Was Wrong installment tonight, but I’m way too tired. Mind-blowing stupidity requires a fresh mind to describe accurately, so I’ll have to put it off to another night. Theoretically, I have my humanist group meeting Wednesday night, so I won’t be able to write the article tomorrow, either.

To keep you entertained until then, please enjoy these four church signs.

Leave it to Beaver

I normally avoid putting church sign photos on this blog, because there are several church-sign generators on the internet. They aren’t unintentionally funny if they’re fake! These ones, though, are all real.

I put my faith in reason

If you know of any other real church signs, put a link to them in the comments. Let’s see if we can find more than just these four.

God is as real as this snow


Update: 12/18/09

I found another one!

No spitting!


Update: 12/20/09

I found two more. Depending on your perspective, you could argue that this first one is ironic.

And some people have it in abundance

This one is just a great example of all the guilt they pile on about sex.

Then I must have written a novel by now

9 Responses to “The Lord DID Give Me a Sign!”

  1. Thomas Says:

    For all of the asinine bullshit that I read on church signs, I’m kind of okay with it if only because I expect asinine bullshit from churches.

    However the used tire store and the heavy equipment rental place down the street also have Xian inspirational messages on their signs and that I don’t quite get.

  2. Gracchus Says:

    Personally, I think “Vacancy” is the best sign a church could have on its marquee. But these are quite good. Thank you.

  3. sue blue Says:

    I can’t drive out of town in any direction without passing a Baptist church marquee. They all seem to be competing with one another with these retarded little puns or word plays. This week, one tries to get in a dig at evolution or geology (or maybe music) with “Ages of rock or Rock of Ages – a solid foundation”. the other sign just trots out that old “Jesus – the reason for the season” turd. There’s a vacant lot next to that one – I really wish I had the money to buy that land and put up a huge atheist billboard with catchy message every week that would play off the Baptist marquee. Can you imagine the impotent shrieks of outrage? Music to my ears.

  4. Wurdulac Says:

    Re: Update 12/18

    Wow, do they even have proofreaders? Or common sense? How often is “swallowing” associated with the truth? In other words, which is more likely to be referenced vis a vis swallowing: the truth, or lies?

    Basically, wtf.

  5. Robert Madewell Says:

    I have over the past few years, taken several pictures of church signs. Only one was really a fail and it wasn’t a church sign technically.

    There’s a lady in town that tapes cardboard signs to stop signs and street signs. Most say Jesus is God, Turn to Jesus, or something meh like that. However, she did let this one slip by.

    Jesus wants a four-way

  6. Jeff Eyges Says:

    Oh, for Chrissake – “Jusus Saves” – they can’t even do that right.

  7. OtherRob Says:

    Masturbation is Satan’s (apostrophe “s”, people) typewriter? What? I don’t think he’s doing right…

  8. Ron Britton Says:

    I don’t think his “typewriter” has an apostrophe.

  9. OtherRob Says:

    I don’t think his “typewriter” has an apostrophe.

    More like an exclamation point…