Conservababes Pix #4: Evolution

[I’m on vacation right now, so here is a quick post I wrote in advance. Feel free to discuss it among yourselves.]

Today we have another installment in our week-long study of the mating habits of the Conservababe. The Conservababe uses imagery to attract a mate. Today we see that much of that imagery is anti-evolution.

This first one is actually kind of funny:

Mom, Dad, I want to regulate my own body temperature

Of course evolution doesn’t work that fast. I wonder if the creationists who posted this comic think it’s a fatal stake through the heart of “Darwinism”.

Here are two more superb images from the gallery:

A creationist in school

On the left we have a kid who believes in creationism and was sent to the corner to study basic evolution. Sadly, most creationists stay in that corner their whole lives. (This picture is incorrect, because it shows just one person in that corner. In reality, that corner is very crowded!)

On the right is an example of a recurring theme on the gallery: random pictures of cavemen and/or apes. I’m not sure why that is so important to them.

The next one is rather stupidly obvious:

The Discovery Institute is Sarah Connor

Darwin died in 1882. He was dead in the 20th century too! The theory of evolution, however, is stronger than ever. In fact, that’s a picture of it above, destroying every rebranded attempt to teach creationism creation science intelligent design magic fairy dust in the classroom.

This next picture is clearly mislabeled:

Philip Johnson

The obvious huckster on the right could only be selling a bottle of nothing. That leaves only two things: Homeopathy or creationism. Judging by the bad Photoshopping on the label, it is clearly yet another rebranding of creationism. Don’t buy it! You’re being cheated out of a real understanding of the marvels of the universe.

“Hey, Rocky! Watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat!”

“But that trick never works!”

“This time for sure!”

No, hats don't evolve, dumbass!

Poor Bullwinkle! The reason he can’t pull evolution out of a magic hat is because it isn’t magical at all. Better stick to bunnies.

Hey, bring that hat over here. You’ll need it to explain this one:

The last time I checked the score, there was no evidence for creationism

[Come back tomorrow for our final installment of images from Conservababes!]

6 Responses to “Conservababes Pix #4: Evolution”

  1. Parrotlover77 Says:

    You’re being cheated out of a real understanding of the marvels of the universe.

    And therein lies the fundamental difference between fundies and the rest of us. They have absolutely no imagination. Any explanation beyond “magic man done did it” absolutely confuses the hell out of them.

  2. Jeff Eyges Says:

    Mom, Dad… There’s something you need to know – I’m a mammal!”

    Now, the question remains – is it a lifestyle choice, or was he born that way?

  3. Robert Madewell Says:

    As far as I know 666 is a higher score than -99999. Math fail?

  4. Ron Britton Says:


    It’s hard to read, but I think the scores are +99999 and –666.

  5. Kevin Says:

    The Christians! They’re over 99,000!

    I looked a bit through that gallery and saw maybe… two that made any sense whatsoever.

  6. OtherRob Says:

    Any explanation beyond “magic man done did it” absolutely confuses the hell out of them.

    You are so right, PL. I listened to a little bit of talk radio on my commute home this evening (I finished the book-on-cd I was listening to) and the host was talking about today’s announcement that the presence of water on the moon was confirmed. It was clear this guy had no clue as to the significance of this discovery and clearly showing a complete lack of understanding of science.

    He was basically saying something along the lines of, “well, gee, why didn’t NASA discover in the 60s when men went to the Moon.” As if there are oceans of water up there that the astronauts just happened to have missed. Just embarrassing. And probably most of his audience was just nodding along as if this were some great insight. Sigh…