Run, Fundie, Run!

[Unless I got decapitated while riding the Greyhound (or incinerated in Waco—What is it with Waco and infernos, anyway?) (or killed by a freight ship) (or—well you get the idea), I actually should be back from vacation right about now. I’ve scheduled this final article to run now in case I’m too tired to jump on the blog the very minute I get home to feed your ravenous maw.]

If you thought fundie graphics couldn’t get any better, check out this stupid little animated GIF that I found over at Brother Mike’s fundie website:

Typical fundie fear of books

It’s moving pretty fast, so it’s hard read. The little fleeing fundie is running from NASV (the New American Standard Version), NIV (New International Version), and LV. I couldn’t figure out what that last one stands for. Maybe it’s “Lucifer’s Version” and is a stand-in for all of the other Satanic translations.

Our little fearful fundie is, of course, running toward the King James Version: the official God-approved Bible, written in God’s native tongue: Early Modern English.

13 Responses to “Run, Fundie, Run!”

  1. Magnus Bergmark Says:

    I don’t think you understand the image. The guy clearly is a fireman (like in Fahrenheit 451) and he is running towards the last version of the American bibles so that he can take care of it too.

  2. Jeff Eyges Says:

    Our little fearful fundie is, of course, running toward the King James Version: the official God-approved Bible, written in God’s native tongue: Early Modern English.

    I’ve been made aware, over the past year or so, that some (many?) of them actually believe this. Apparently, it isn’t uncommon to hear, “If it was good enough for Jesus, it’s good enough for me!”

    Perhaps this country has been the beneficiary of divine intervention, because I can’t understand how we’ve lasted this long.

  3. Sanity Says:

    Notice how the little running man isn’t actually getting any closer…

  4. Robert Madewell Says:

    I made the mistake of clicking through to Mike’s website. My speakers nearly blew up from the loud midi music pouring from the page. I suppose I could mute the speakers, but why would I want to go through all that trouble to read a silly Christian web page? I wonder if they know just how annoying it is to have music spontaneously explode from your speakers with no player on the page that you can turn it down with?

  5. Another Steve Says:

    The first thing that caught my eye from Brother Mike’s funny (sic) web site:

    “The Way Church Used to Be — And Ought to Be!”

    So, my first thought was:

    In Latin? With the priest’s back to the congregation?

    In a Catholic church? Before the reformation movement of Martin Luther?

    Or are we talking about further back into the mist of ignorance…You know: “The good old days”

    I sometimes wonder just what would happen if we could somehow give the fundies exactly what they are hoping for. Put them into some sort of fish tank and seal the lid. Let them have their theocracy. What would it look like in 1 year? 5 years? 100 years? 1000 years?

    One wrinkle I’d like to add to the fish tank experiment: If a person wants out, they can get out. This lets the people who develop the ability to reason with a way to escape.

  6. Robert Madewell Says:

    Run to reason, Christian!

    Run to reason

  7. OtherRob Says:

    As you say the animation moves pretty fast. I thought one of the things he was running from was NASA. Didn’t know what the others were, but I figured they were also some sort of scientific organization or concept.

  8. Bart v.d. M. Says:

    Steve, I think what he means is back in the days you weren’t allowed to sacrifice a bull unless you did so in front of the congregation tent.

  9. Bunkie Says:

    LV = Louis Vuitton Bible
    What ever THAT is supposed to be!

  10. Lindsay Says:

    LV = Las Vegas, the hotbed of sin? In that case I’m running right into the flames!

  11. Taz Says:

    LV would be the Latin Vulgate. Why they had to take a perfectly good English language book like the Bible and translate it into Latin is beyond me.

  12. Bart v.d. M. Says:

    Must be those darn Catholics, they insist on translating God’s English words into Latin during ceremonies.

  13. Person who knows these things Says:

    LV is the “Living Version”
    It’s the paraphrased version. Instead of translating from the original languages, Kenneth Taylor took the American Standard Version (1901) and made it into pre-teen English in 1971.
    Personally, I prefer the NIV or LXX (Greek Old Testament), or the Vulgate.