September 11

As I was researching disasters, I was reminded of how prominent the date of September 11 has been. Below is a short list. The descriptions are from Wikipedia. My comments are in parentheses and italics. Don’t read too much into the coincidences. The year only has 365¼ days. A lot of things will be forced onto the same date.

The following occurred on September 11 of the year:

  • 1541—Santiago, Chile, is destroyed by indigenous warriors. (This is significant mainly because of what would happen here 432 years later.)
  • 1690—Expulsion order announced against the Moriscos of Valencia; beginning of the expulsion of all Spain’s Moriscos. (The Moriscos were Moors [Iberian Muslims] who had been forced to convert to Christianity. They never fully converted, so Christian intolerance and economic envy eventually got them booted out.)
  • 1649—Siege of Drogheda ends: Oliver Cromwell’s English Parliamentarian troops take the town and massacre its garrison. (Protestant England massacres those nasty Catholics!)
  • 1789—Alexander Hamilton is appointed as first Secretary of the Treasury. (Several years later, Hamilton would become the first of only two people ever shot by a sitting Vice President. Numerology crackpots take note: Sept. 11, 1789 Hamilton appointed Secretary of Treasury. July 11, 1804 V.P. Aaron Burr guns down Alexander Hamilton. Feb. 11, 2006 V.P. Dick Cheney guns down Harry Whittington. Creepy!)
    Satan and Son
  • 1857—The Mountain Meadows Massacre: Mormon settlers and Paiutes massacre 120 pioneers at Mountain Meadows, Utah. (Victims of religious hatred themselves, the Mormons decided that was enough justification to return the favor.)
    Mountain Meadows Massacre
  • 1922—The British Mandate of Palestine begins. (Part of the perpetual mess in the Middle East. Stay away!)
  • 1941—Ground broken for the construction of The Pentagon. (On the 60th anniversary of this ground-breaking, it would be struck by religious zealots.)
  • 1943—World War II: start of the liquidation of the Ghettos in Minsk and Lida by the Nazis. (Nothing beats religious hatred!)
  • 1955—Dedication of the first Temple of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints in Europe, the Bern Switzerland Temple. (On the 98th anniversary of the Mountain Meadows Massacre. For shame!)
  • 1960—Young Americans for Freedom meeting at home of William F. Buckley, Jr. promulgates the Sharon Statement. (The statement reads, in part:

    THAT the purpose of government is to protect those freedoms through the preservation of internal order, the provision of national defense, and the administration of justice;
    THAT when government ventures beyond these rightful functions, it accumulates power, which tends to diminish order and liberty…

    So, then, why are modern Republicans all about grabbing as much power for the federal government as possible?)

  • 1962—The Beatles record their debut single, “Love Me Do.” (Not religious hatred, but hatred must be involved. Why else would they inflict this upon us?)
  • 1965—The 1st Cavalry Division of the United States Army arrives in Vietnam. (We have to stop those Godless Commies!)
  • 1970—The Ford Pinto is introduced. (9/11. Day of disasters.)
  • 1971—The Egyptian Constitution becomes official. (A republic, not a theocracy! And they have a constitutional ban against religious-based parties! And they eventually made peace with Israel! Unfortunately, the country is still full of religious extremists, and the ban on religious political parties is not enforced. Still, this suggests that maybe, just maybe, the residents of the Middle East are capable of not starting WWIII.)
  • 1973—A military coup in Chile headed by General Augusto Pinochet topples the democratically elected President Salvador Allende. (The United States was at least somewhat involved in this. Allende was a Socialist, which is one step short of being a Godless Commie. Colin Powell said in 2003, “With respect to your earlier comments about Chile in the 1970s and what happened with Mr. Allende, it is not a part of American history that we’re proud of.”)
  • 1981—The Pee-Wee Herman Show airs as a special on HBO. (Only slightly less embarrassing than the Pinto.)
  • 1987—CBS Evening News anchor Dan Rather, angry over being preempted for a tennis match, marches off the set, leaving affiliates with six minutes of an empty news desk. (Oh my God Imaginary Friend! The Liberal Media went dark for six minutes! Angels trumpeted! John Wayne rose from the dead! Ronald Reagan’s Alzheimer’s cleared up! But alas, six minutes later, the stinking Liberals regained control of our country and everything went back into the toilet.)
  • 1989—The Iron Curtain opens between the communist Hungary and Austria. From Hungary thousands of East Germans throng to Austria and West Germany. (They did this, of course, only to escape their forced membership in the East German Atheist Club.)
  • 1990—President George H.W. Bush delivers a nationally televised speech in which he threatens the use of force to remove Iraqi soldiers from Kuwait, which Iraq had recently invaded. (I have an idea! Let’s piss off Osama bin Laden!)
  • 1992—Hurricane Iniki, one of the most damaging hurricanes in United States history during its time, devastates the State of Hawai’i, especially the islands of Kaua’i and Oahu. (The insurance companies chalk this up to an “Act of God.” The residents of Hawaii, of course, don’t blame God for the storm. However, most of the people whose lives or homes were spared were sure to give him credit for their luck! God: The Teflon deity! No blame can stick!)
  • 1998—Independent counsel Kenneth Starr sends a report to the U.S. Congress accusing President Bill Clinton of 11 possible impeachable offenses. (Starr, son of a Church of Christ minister, spent four years and millions of dollars on the G.O.P.’s [God’s Own Party] witch hunt of Bill Clinton. The only thing they could prove was that Clinton lied under oath about getting an extra-marital blow job. This was a violation of some sort of decree that some charlatan carved onto a rock 6000 years ago. That was enough for impeachment! Too bad it takes a two-thirds majority in the Senate to convict. They probably couldn’t find 67 Senators who hadn’t received BJs in exchange for votes, so Clinton was acquited. Good use of taxpayers’ money, you pinheads!)
    A charlatan prepares to manipulate his followers
    (Of course the mob currently in the White House only lied us into war, outed a CIA agent, diverted billions to their cronies in no-bid contracts, and conducted illegal surveillance of American citizens [Those are just the obvious things! No need for a multi-year, multimillion-dollar investigation here!]. I’m still waiting for the impeachment on any one of those. Where is the party that was going to return integrity to the White House? Where are the so-called “values voters” now? Let’s examine what those “values” really are: Blow job or Big Brother?)
  • 2001—The September 11 attacks destroy the World Trade Center in New York City, part of The Pentagon in Arlington, Virginia, and down a passenger airliner in Pennsylvania. In total, almost 3000 are killed. (Islam. Religion of peace!)
  • 2005—The State of Israel officially declares an end to military rule in the Gaza Strip after 38 years of occupation. (Another hopeful sign that the two sides of this retarded tiff might be able to pull back from the brink of total world annhilation?)

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