Big Valley Creation Science Museum—The Video

Another one of those retarded creationist museums is opening tomorrow. This one is in Alberta. I guess the United States is having such a rapturous orgasm of creationism that we ejaculated some fundies into Canada.

The Big Valley Creation Science Museum has a promotional video on their web site. I thought it would be fun to take a look at that. (If I have time in the next few days, I’ll write a post about their web site. It has a few laughs on it as well.)

The video starts off with “In the Beginning… was DARWIN”:

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It then spends some time trying to discredit him. Nothing new here. Here are a couple of interesting claims, though:

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“He was a trained theologian, not a scientist…” So what? Are they saying that people are only good for one thing? If you’re a theologian, you can’t do anything else? If you’re a mechanic, all you are capable of is fixing cars? If you’re a woman, you’re only good for making babies? Oh wait. I guess that is consistent with their beliefs.

If evolution was proposed by a non-scientist, that means it’s bogus? Well just about everybody who has worked on evolution since then has been a scientist, so I’d say that pretty much solidifies its credibility.

“…and science became his greatest adversary and judge.” I have no idea what that means, because science has proven almost everything he said. This must be a mistake. They must have combined two slides. The first was about Darwin, and the second was about Bishop Ussher.

Next comes a showy computer graphic:

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OOO! AHHH! Seeing the Earth there with our big sun shining down upon us fills me with the spirit of the LAWD! Hallelu— whoops! It just passed.

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Umm, guys? That’s not Alberta. It’s Africa. I know they both begin with “A”, but — Oh wait. It’s a rotating globe. They had me worried for a moment. I know fundies are stupid, but I didn’t think they were that stupid.

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Wow! Now I’m getting excited! A sleeping giant! This is big news! It’s… It’s…

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WTF? What kind of sleeping giant is that? It’s a God-damned 600-square-foot house, for Christ’s sake!

Well, let’s go inside:

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Oh yes, I see the evidence! This dinosaur has massive, razor-sharp teeth, which it evolved for the sole purpose of tearing flesh. That’s funny. I thought this was supposed to be a creationism museum.

This next shot claims to be challenging evolution:

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All it does is prove evolution to me. Here is that fossil’s modern-day descendent:

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As you can see, the vestigial wings eventually evolved away. (For you young-uns out there, that’s Jane Fonda giving the Black Power salute in her mug shot. She was arrested in 1970 for pissing off conservatives.)

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Now we’re treated to single words appearing on screen and then creeping toward us like the unsettling realization that we’re actually wasting ten valuable minutes of our life watching a creationist propaganda film. We see:

Evolution

has

been

FALSIFIED

It hasn’t, but they’re hoping you’ll be stupid enough to believe them.

By the way, you can see the reflection of several overhead lights and a window in this photo. This is a first class outfit. They spared no expense making a first-rate video.

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Then comes a series of shots of alternately boring and tacky displays. The text is “Come see the scientific evidence that other museums don’t want you to see…”

That’s because other museums are in the business of displaying facts.

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This is a model of a bacterium’s flagellum. Somehow this proves that God exists. Just because the fundies lack the brainpower to see how this could evolve, it doesn’t prove that God made it.

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This electric motor bears a passing resemblance to the flagellum. The motor was designed; therefore, the bacterium was designed! Isn’t life grand when you don’t need to go beyond simplistic comparisons?

This next shot is the old creationist claim that species can’t gain genetic information over generations. It’s another fundie lie. But look at the picture:

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That’s the reflection of the photographer’s hand and camera. Sheesh! Amateurs!

Then there’s some more drivel. Then the wrap-up. In sales, this is called the “closer”. In fundie-ville, it’s called the “mind-closer”:

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There was information, but the fundies were too stupid to see it.

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And concepts like evolution were too complicated to be understood by the retarded.

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But it looked nothing like the life of today, for it had not yet evolved.

The next image says “In the beginning, there was…”

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This image is accompanied by a bunch of fake stars shooting toward the viewer. I guess God is in his star cruiser and is lobbing photon torpedoes at us.

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Oh, please! Do us all a favor and stay closed!

11 Responses to “Big Valley Creation Science Museum—The Video”

  1. Intergalactic Hussy Says:

    Oh, please! Do us all a favor and stay closed!

    I couldn’t agree more.

    I just feel bad for the poor kids who are forced to believe these blatant lies. :/

    Damn you childhood indoctrination!

  2. Grant Milroy Says:

    Your version of intellectual credibility sickens me. Grow up and get a life. You guys should learn some basic decentcy in the way you deal with creationists. Have a nice day. Super creation – super Creator.

  3. ericsan Says:

    I guess creationists should return the favor and learn spelling…
    Hey, at least if creationists visit this blog there’s always the chance that we might save the brains of one of them from biblecrap-induced rot.

  4. Ron Britton Says:

    Your version of intellectual credibility sickens me.

    I held off on commenting about this, but what the heck! That sentence doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. Credibility is an objective assessment of how accurate something is. For example, science is credible, because it has mountains of data to back it up, and it has self-correcting mechanisms in place to bring it back on course when it starts to deviate.

    The Holey Buy-bull is not credible, because it has no data to back up its claims, it contradicts known facts, and it has no mechanism for correction. In fact, all attempts to fix its numerous errors are met with howls of protest from the religious.

    I also can’t figure out what a “version” of credibility might be.

    Grow up and get a life.

    I have a life. Trying to protect the Constitution and prevent a theocracy are noble goals.

    A life spent wandering the internet looking for blogs you can post poorly-crafted, illogical, and illiterate comments on is the life that’s wasted.

    You guys should learn some basic decentcy…

    You should learn some basic spelling.

    …in the way you deal with creationists.

    I would, if only the creationists would learn some basic decency in how they deal with people who passed 4th-grade science.

    Have a nice day.

    Any day not laboring under the yoke of superstition is a nice day.

    Super creation – super Creator.

    The Universe is too big and complicated for your puny brain to comprehend, so you conclude that it must have been created. Yeah. That’s logical!

  5. Jr. Says:

    This is one of my favorite articles. I spit up my drink when I hit the part about the sleeping “giant”, and then couldn’t stop laughing.

    And it baffles me what “super creation” is. Is it, like creation on steroids? Like, god poofed everything into existence in two days instead of six? I mean, it’s not like he couldn’t have, being omnipotent and all…. whoops.

    Anyway, final thought: the budgeting was kind of screwy, so the money that should’ve gone in to decent photography (namely, tilting the camera up two inches or -god forbid- using a self-timer and a tripod) went into the flashy rendering of Africa.

  6. Idetrorce Says:

    very interesting, but I don’t agree with you
    Idetrorce

  7. Tara Says:

    Earlier this year I visited this “Creation Science Museum” with a friend when we found ourselves in Big Valley. I had to pay $5 to get in. When I objected, the owner, Harry, approached us and said “you are atheists, aren’t you?” (we aren’t).

    They say that they will be GST exempt soon. Is our tax money paying for something that was put together by the owner because of his fear for the Almighty? We came to that conclusion after a long debate with Harry, the owner. He said that at least he will go to Heaven, and us? Well, “you wait what happens to you when you die…” he said. Harry is agressive and ready to fight. Harry should know that arguing about religion is denounced in his beloved Bible (Timothy 31?).

    He has a big collection of USA published books for free hand-outs. So who is financing this? Are we importing American fundamentalism into Canada under NAFTA?

    It needs to be mentioned that this display denouncing evolution is 12 km from the badlands of the spectecular Red Deer River Valley, the biggest “museum” of evolution one can find in the West with its fossils, palaeontology, geology, biology, geography, and anthropology.

    The Tyrrell Musem of Palaeontology is 70 km away. Harry said I shouldn’t waste my $10 entrance fee there, because it is a big fake, including the many PhD scientists working there. So my $5 entrance fee to his “museum” was a real good deal!

    In the end I asked what he wanted to prove with all these beautiful displays, and he took us to a simple wallhanging that showed that Charles and Diana are directly related to Adam and Eve! (really, ever so scientific!)

    The more controversial this issue becomes, the more satisfaction the creationists get out of it. At least they will get to Heaven! And then to think that several of the Republican presidential candidates believe in this God fearing creationism too! Now that has me worried, especially after seeing the simplistic way of their thinking at the Creation Science Museum.

  8. ParrotLover77 Says:

    Fundies have a persecution complex. If they aren’t being persecuted (or perceiving that they are), then they just aren’t happy.

    Personally, if I was a fundie, I’d be excited about how science is discovering “how” god created everything. But they aren’t satisfied unless it’s all just magic and supernatural.

    Because we all know how accurate stories passed down for generations by oral tradition, then written down, then translated 100 times will turn out…

    Did fundies never play the “telephone” game when they were kids?

  9. Kaiser Says:

    I have had several phone conversations with Harry Nibourg and also found him to be very aggressive, loud and excitable whenever I tried to reason with him and offer alternative explanations as to why things are as they are.

    He refuses to use logic and reason and like all creationists, whenever he is confronted with something for which he has no answer, resorts to the “God did it all” theory!

    End of argument.

    He accused me of believing that all life was created out of nothing, but when I tried to explain to him that I don’t have the answer as to how life started he made the claim that “God created it”, apparently out of nothing, as nothing is believed to have existed before his creation. He refused to answer me when I challenged him as to how God could then create the universe out of nothing.

    Harry also more or less threatened me with a very hot place for my lack of belief and intimated he would be glad that I am headed there, which I found to be very Christian of him.

    I intend to keep after him even though he told me not to contact him again.

  10. Jeff Eyges Says:

    Harry also more or less threatened me with a very hot place for my lack of belief and intimated he would be glad that I am headed there, which I found to be very Christian of him.

    Of course; this is who they are. Nealy all of them have this attitude, to one extent or another.

    I intend to keep after him even though he told me not to contact him again.

    He’s unreachable. Why would you even bother talking to him? You can’t possibly think you’re going to change his mind.

  11. K-Fed Says:

    I live in Alberta. How embarrassing.

    I’d like to think the Royal Tyrell in Drumheller and the fact this received no media coverage is a good sign. Oh. That and the fact this is less a ‘museum’ and more a small house with posters in it.