50 Reasons I Reject Evolution

Creationism poster

Here are some highlights of a list posted by Bobbie Jean Pentecost. See the whole list here.

3.) Because if I can’t immediately understand how something works, then it must be bullshit.

6.) Because I can’t get it through my thick logic-proof skull that evolution refers ONLY to the diversity of living organisms which reproduce with genetic variation, not to abiogenesis, or planet formation, or big bang cosmology, or whether God exists, or where they buried Jimmy Hoffa, or why the sky is blue, or how many licks it takes to get to the center of a fucking Tootsie Pop.

12.) Because the fact that science is self-correcting annoys me. Most of my other beliefs are rigidly fixed and uncorrectable.

29.) Because I didn’t know that evolution has been tested and observed in laboratories.

30.) Because when confronted with that, I refuse to believe it. It’s obviously a scientific conspiracy aimed at turning everyone on the planet into atheists… even though evolution says nothing about god’s nature nor whether he, she, it, or they exist.

31.) Because I’m too stupid to realize that Social Darwinism has nothing to do with evolution and is actually a pseudo-scientific bastardization that real science largely rejects.

38.) Because I have no imagination, learning is too much effort, I don’t like proven facts, change scares me, and I think deoxyribonucleic acid is something I’m supposed to clean my bathroom floors with.

46.) Because I think I’m too special to have been crafted by any natural process and the entire planet, solar system, galaxy, and universe were created with me especially in mind.

47.) Because I unquestioningly swallow the ignorant anti-science bullshit spewed directly from the fraudulent stupid asses of people like Ken Ham, Ted Haggard, Fred Phelps, and Kent Hovind.

50.) Because despite the fact that in all my years of life, I have never seen any magic, I still believe magic is the answer to anything I don’t immediately comprehend.

13 Responses to “50 Reasons I Reject Evolution”

  1. YogaforCynics Says:

    Don’t you people get that the idea of an omnipotent, omnipresent, omniscient being whose very existence is beyond our comprehension creating itself out of nowhere makes more sense than evolution?

    Okay, me neither…

    But, oh, god, why do I love Jesus-and-dinosaur pics so much?

  2. bunkie Says:

    Because the Dinosaur looks so cute and cuddly?

  3. Aaron Says:

    You know what happened next? The Raptor (I’m assuming it is?) mauled his face off. That’s how he really died.

  4. Jeff Eyges Says:

    I don’t know; I just don’t think you can make a reptile appear cute and cuddly. Well, except perhaps for the baby plesiosaur in that movie about the Scottish boy who found an egg in Loch Ness, or somewhere.

    She also said this in a follow-up post, which I thought was pretty much on target:

    In this fine age of technology, when I can precisely locate my own anus via Google Maps, one might think it wouldn’t be too much effort to log onto the internet, open Google, type in “evolution,” and do a little research. But apparently it is. Apparently human beings are the laziest damned creatures on this whole fucking planet. In related news, bears actually DO shit in the woods.

  5. Another Steve Says:

    This is NOT the sort of stuff you should read while eating or drinking! Outstanding!

  6. Parrotlover77 Says:

    Oh, fundies know how to use the google. And the twitter. And the Facebook. And on and on.

    Have you ever opened google and searched for evolution?

    Okay, out of the top ten, about half are actually related to the theory of evolution. The others are movies, some open source crap, some project of the same name, or some other dumb shit.

    Now look at the related searches. Remember this is just an algorithm looking for similar searching criteria. Notice how many related searches are for creationism, ID, or religion?

    Google is unintentionally giving creationism credibility.

  7. Billyist Says:

    For god so loved the mushroom kingdom, he gave his only yoshi

  8. Whammo! Says:

    Looking forward to the day you have your very first original thought. You must be tired of taking credit for the original thoughts of others?

  9. Ron Britton Says:

    Gee, Kevin. Why don’t you have an original thought for once? Really? 6000 years?

  10. Another Steve Says:

    As long as we’re talking about original thoughts, anyone who’s into the 6000 year old Earth nonsense seriously ought to have a look at Timothy 1:4

    “1:4 Neither give heed to fables and endless genealogies, which minister questions, rather than godly edifying which is in faith: so do.”

    I found this quote at:

    http://skepticsannotatedbible.com/1tim/1.html

    Now maybe you’re a whole bunch smarter than me, but that sounds a lot like the whole X begot Y begot Z is a huge load of fertilizer. But we all know that the truly faithful are not fooled by plain language unless it fits some bunch of crap told to them by a religious figure with a power grab type agenda.

  11. ANONYMOUS Says:

    but where the fuck would the original organism come from? created itself because thats a whole diferent religion. theres gotta be somethin out there BELIEVE IN THE HIGHER POWER fuck that IT POPED OUT THE GROUND shit or “radiation” whered the radiation come from? or the planets

  12. Ron Britton Says:

    Anonymous:

    Gas is over $4/gallon these days. You shouldn’t waste it on drive-bys.

    And I really don’t want to know what shit Ratzinger poped out and why he put it into a meat grinder.

  13. Parrotlover77 Says:

    I do believe in the HIGHER POWER FUCK. It can be a lot of fun, but if done improperly, it can result in a broken penis. Be careful, kids.