Pathetic Observer
A few days ago, in a response to my last post of cartoons, some fundie nitwit calling himself “Prophetic Observer” dropped by to say:
Fascinating how you set up straw men and beat them down. My you are clever, aren’t you?
I guess the morally retarded need entertainment too…
I love how he assumes that atheists are immoral, because they don’t have an authoritarian sky daddy to tell them what is right and wrong. They’re totally devoid of a moral compass!
I asked him to please explain to me just where in that post were the straw men, but he couldn’t. He also asked me to please fisk his website.
OK, he didn’t exactly phrase it like that. He actually claimed I wouldn’t be able to. Well if there’s anything I like, it’s an arrogant fundie, so I thought I’d oblige.
He has both a blog and a regular website. About the website, he says:
The purpose of this website is to discuss prophecy and other contemporary Christian issues as viewed thru the lens of the Holy Bible (KJV), the only irrefutable source for Christian guidance. [emphasis added]
Another thing I love is fundie certainty about groundless claims. The prophecy alone could be hysterical, but we can only use the KJV! All other Bibles are impostors! Even the ones written right after the time of Christ! They couldn’t possibly be more accurate than one written over a thousand years later!
We’ll have to come back to his website some other time, though. Today, I want to look at his blog. Let’s start with his two most recent articles. I may do his earlier articles in the future. It depends how cruel I’m feeling.
In “Where Do You Get a Flag Like This?”, Pathetic Observer gives us the photo I’ve reproduced at the top of this article. Look at it carefully. The stars are upside down! Here’s what Pathetic says:
This is an old picture from Hillary’s campaign website. It still bewilders me where this flag came from. Was it special ordered with upside down pentacles (pentagrams)? Was it some manufacturing error? If so, how did the factory miss it? Those things are not cheap. Secondly, how did everyone in the campaign fail to notice it? There was never an acknowledgement of this from the Clinton campaign that I recall, other than the photos quickly disappearing from their website.
Don’t you love how he doesn’t call them stars, like everyone else does? No! They’re upside down. They’re pentagrams! Hillary is the Anti-Christ! Oh wait. She didn’t get elected. OK, she’s Satan’s advance guard, here to lay the groundwork!
So instead of seeing only a simple manufacturing error, he sees evil! Even though he admits it could be an error, it might be evil! What a scary world this guy must live in.
As to where you get a flag like that, I’m guessing China. Just about everything we buy is manufactured there now. That’s the sort of dumb mistake that a non-American is likely to make. What he’s looking at is no more evil than the loss of American manufacturing jobs.
I Dreamt of a Train Going into a Tunnel. What Could it Mean?
His next post is called “The Dream is Certain, and the Interpretation Thereof Sure”. It’s about how Daniel had to interpret King Nebuchadnezzar’s dream. Hopefully, Daniel only saw him in 45-minute sessions but charged him for a full hour. Daniel probably also told the King why he was afraid of horses.
Anyway, Pathetic writes:
After praying with his fellow believers the Lord revealed the dream to Daniel in a vision. Now a prophecy from the Lord is never wrong. If someone calling themselves a prophet of the Lord is wrong, then they are not who they claim to be.
How about that dude who said (I’m paraphrasing): “The second coming of Christ will happen within your lifetime”. What was that guy’s name?
Oh yeah. Jesus.
Pathetic Observer just told the world that Jesus Christ is a false prophet!
His article continues:
Folks, God does not want us to live in doubt and uncertainty, constantly wondering what is right and wrong. We must know God’s law and be certain of it, because it is written in His Word.
Let me translate that last phrase for you. It’s very clear by reading his website that “His Word” is the KJV Bible. What he’s saying is that if it’s in the KJV, it’s guaranteed to be God’s word. So God is telling us the world is flat, pi equals 3, bats are birds, etc. God sure is an ignorant fool!
Pathetic continues:
We can say that homosexuality is wrong with authority because God’s Word tells us in Romans 1:26-27 (KJV). We can say abortion is a sin with authority because His Word tells us in Jeremiah 1:5 (KJV).
Actually, that Jeremiah passage doesn’t specifically mention abortion. Fundies just like to interpret it that way, because it conveniently fits their biases. Here’s what the Bible really says about abortion:
- Abortion is not murder. A fetus is not considered a human life.
- The Bible places no value on fetuses or infants less than one month old.
- Fetuses and infants less than one month old are not considered persons.
- God sometimes approves of killing fetuses.
- God sometimes kills newborn babies to punish their parents.
- God sometimes causes abortions by cursing unfaithful wives.
- God’s law sometimes requires the execution (by burning to death) of pregnant women.
The Bible does condemn homosexuality, so that is a law we must follow. Or is that another convenient thing that fits fundie biases?
May 7th, 2009 at 6:39 am
I’m no fundie, but I hate bad arguments. Go to the link on “what the Bible really says about abortion” and look at the cited verse for the bit about burning a pregnant woman to death. Read the whole chapter, not just the verse cited. Judah, not God, orders that the pregnant Tamar be burnt. What’s more, it was Judah that got Tamar pregnant, and Judah was Tamar’s father-in-law.
But what happens to Tamar? She isn’t burned to death. She gives birth to twins.
So this really isn’t proof that “God’s law sometimes requires the execution (by burning to death) of pregnant women.”
There are some interesting things in this chapter though: like the fact that God kills Onan for pulling out because he didn’t want to get his widowed sister-in-law pregnant. Or that it is apparently okay for Judah to have non-marital sex as long as the woman is a harlot.
May 7th, 2009 at 6:42 am
Speaking of crazy christian websites, here’s the “church” website of a former boss of mine. He actually was a pretty cool guy. However, sometime after I left, he went all born-again.
http://www.churchofthewildgoose.com/
May 7th, 2009 at 9:02 am
There are basically two major ways of using the word “morality” that I tend to run into. One is that of liberal believers as well as most non-believers I know (even if they don’t like using the word), which is essentially synonymous with compassion or empathy. Then there’s that of fundamentalists of most stripes (as well as doctrinaire Marxists and other idealogues) which is essentially synonymous with blind obedience to a (usually ancient) set of rules laid down by some prophet or god. Notably, however, though they say they don’t, almost all fundamentalists, ultimately, pick and choose, since following rules like “do unto others…” or “love they neighbor” would end up making them too much like the first group…
May 7th, 2009 at 9:17 am
You can say Prophetic Observer is an imbecile with authority because – well, it’s just so damn obvious.
May 7th, 2009 at 2:15 pm
If an atheist says something in the forest and there isn’t a fundie around to hear it, is the atheist still wrong?
May 7th, 2009 at 3:55 pm
A couple of minutes of research revealed that upside down stars on the flag are a manufacturing defect since the Union on the flag is often made separately. Furthermore, take a look at this GOP logo. I knew that GOP was evil but I needed this Pathetic numbnuts to confirm it for me.
May 8th, 2009 at 8:16 am
Ha, my comment here got noticed on the blog of our infamous interpreter of induced hallucinations.
May 9th, 2009 at 7:06 am
Observer has been commenting on my blog. He’s all over the map.
http://superstitionfree.blogspot.com/2009/05/pat-robertson-gives-advice.html
May 9th, 2009 at 9:02 am
Robert
I just read your comment thread. It’s hysterical! Pathetic Observer does a better job making himself look foolish than I did in this article!
May 9th, 2009 at 10:32 am
Robert, you’re being far too polite to him. A)He’s a moron. B)He believes you’re going to burn in hell. He deserves nothing but your contempt.
Jesus, Ron, it’s gotten to a point at which it isn’t enough for me to be contemptuous of Christians; I get angry now if other people aren’t. I’m becoming impossible.
May 9th, 2009 at 11:02 am
Jeff:
I’m certainly impressed with how patient Robert is. I’m only contemptuous of the fundie variety of Christians, BTW, but the reason for that is really due to my personality.
If patience is a virtue, then I’m not virtuous. I get really sick and tired of the same old anti-social behaviors of fundies. My patience for that behavior was used up years ago.
May 9th, 2009 at 2:14 pm
Thanks guys,
But, I’m not that patient. I have bruises on my forehead to prove it.
I could never be comtemptuous of fundies. I use to be one.