LOL Sonny and Cher

Make Sonny and Cher sing

I found this old ad with Sonny and Cher pushing Bibles. I decided we need to make them say something, so I added the word balloons. If anybody is game, help me fill those in. I did come up with something myself, but I’m not convinced it’s funny enough. Whatever we come up with should somehow tie in with the theme of the ad.

We aren’t tied to Sonny speaking first. I can change the order of the bubbles. I can also change it so only one is speaking, or one or both is a thought bubble, or even one speaks, then the other, and the first one speaks again. We can even have one or both speak and then a caption at the bottom that adds further explanation or snarky editorial comment. Don’t feel constrained by what you see here.

15 Responses to “LOL Sonny and Cher”

  1. 4ndyman Says:

    Sonny: If I didn’t read the Bible, I wouldn’t be able to get to sleep at night.
    Cher: The Bible is the only book I keep in the bathroom.

    —–

    Sonny: Is our Koran shoot tomorrow or Thursday?
    Cher: It’s Thursday. Tomorrow we do the shoot for the Book of Mormon.

    —–

    Sonny: Ten cents out of every dollar that you spend purchasing this Bible goes to help needy, inner-city youths.
    Cher: And eighty cents goes toward my growing collection of wigs.

  2. Lindsay Says:

    To be honest, I think leaving the word balloons blank says it all!

  3. LadyRhian Says:

    Sonny: Think if we look all blank and tortured, they’ll believe that we read the Bible?

    Cher: Let’s try it and see. The pages make perfect rolling papers for joints anyhow.

    Take 2:
    Sonny: And if you believe this ad, Jack Chick is waiting to convince you of a shitload of other lies!

    Cher: Jack Chick is our supplier of LSD, man.

  4. dvsrat Says:

    SONNY: What do you want on your pizza?

    CHER: Your bits of skull and brains after you rammed your head into a tree while skiing.

  5. Snogger Says:

    Cher: I’m praying for our love to endure forever. And to keep my looks. What are you praying for?

    Sonny: Those sound good to me, too. And I’m praying that our kids never go gay. God, don’t let us down!

  6. Luke Says:

    SONNY: Hey Cher, why the long face?

  7. José Says:

    Sonny: The Bible is a great read anytime… except when you’re skiing.

    Cher: This Bible won’t dry out your skin. It’s made with no alcohol… None!

  8. Mr. Vorhias Says:

    Sonny: This ad is as bland and derivative as our music was.

    Cher: Yup.

  9. Ron Britton Says:

    Some of these are pretty good. I had originally said that I wanted the words to be related to the theme of the ad, but some of the better ones aren’t.

    dvsrat is thinking along the same lines I was. My original script was:

    Sonny: Dear God, Please don’t let me ski into a tree. Amen.

    Cher: Dear God, Please let Sonny ski into a tree. Amen.

  10. Parrotlover77 Says:

    Snogger wins! My fav so far.

  11. TB Tabby Says:

    Sonny: That’s why we’re married.
    Cher: I didn’t scream for help loud enough when he raped me.

  12. Lilyana Says:

    Sonny: I can has fwee cheezburger wif Bible?

    Cher: I can has fwee cheezburger wif Bible?

  13. OtherRob Says:

    Sonny: Does this picture make my mustache look fat?

    Cher: Get your hand off my ass.

  14. Bart v.d. M. Says:

    Sonny: They made it sound easy enough but I’m really having a hard time reading here.
    Cher: You’re looking the wrong way, that’s a camera. The Bible is in the high chair with the moustache.

  15. dvsrat Says:

    With her divine power granted to her through the reading of The Bible Cher is able to transform herself — shape shift, if you will. She becomes a tree.

    CHER: (opening her branches) “I got you babe”

    SONNY: (skiing down the mountain) “I got you babe.”

    BLAMMM!!!!!!!!

    The moral of that story is — don’t be Sonny Bono.