LOL Sonny and Cher
I found this old ad with Sonny and Cher pushing Bibles. I decided we need to make them say something, so I added the word balloons. If anybody is game, help me fill those in. I did come up with something myself, but I’m not convinced it’s funny enough. Whatever we come up with should somehow tie in with the theme of the ad.
We aren’t tied to Sonny speaking first. I can change the order of the bubbles. I can also change it so only one is speaking, or one or both is a thought bubble, or even one speaks, then the other, and the first one speaks again. We can even have one or both speak and then a caption at the bottom that adds further explanation or snarky editorial comment. Don’t feel constrained by what you see here.
April 21st, 2009 at 9:36 am
Sonny: If I didn’t read the Bible, I wouldn’t be able to get to sleep at night.
Cher: The Bible is the only book I keep in the bathroom.
—–
Sonny: Is our Koran shoot tomorrow or Thursday?
Cher: It’s Thursday. Tomorrow we do the shoot for the Book of Mormon.
—–
Sonny: Ten cents out of every dollar that you spend purchasing this Bible goes to help needy, inner-city youths.
Cher: And eighty cents goes toward my growing collection of wigs.
April 21st, 2009 at 10:23 am
To be honest, I think leaving the word balloons blank says it all!
April 21st, 2009 at 10:51 am
Sonny: Think if we look all blank and tortured, they’ll believe that we read the Bible?
Cher: Let’s try it and see. The pages make perfect rolling papers for joints anyhow.
Take 2:
Sonny: And if you believe this ad, Jack Chick is waiting to convince you of a shitload of other lies!
Cher: Jack Chick is our supplier of LSD, man.
April 21st, 2009 at 12:38 pm
SONNY: What do you want on your pizza?
CHER: Your bits of skull and brains after you rammed your head into a tree while skiing.
April 21st, 2009 at 3:03 pm
Cher: I’m praying for our love to endure forever. And to keep my looks. What are you praying for?
Sonny: Those sound good to me, too. And I’m praying that our kids never go gay. God, don’t let us down!
April 21st, 2009 at 3:04 pm
SONNY: Hey Cher, why the long face?
April 21st, 2009 at 8:11 pm
Sonny: The Bible is a great read anytime… except when you’re skiing.
Cher: This Bible won’t dry out your skin. It’s made with no alcohol… None!
April 21st, 2009 at 10:04 pm
Sonny: This ad is as bland and derivative as our music was.
Cher: Yup.
April 21st, 2009 at 10:16 pm
Some of these are pretty good. I had originally said that I wanted the words to be related to the theme of the ad, but some of the better ones aren’t.
dvsrat is thinking along the same lines I was. My original script was:
Sonny: Dear God, Please don’t let me ski into a tree. Amen.
Cher: Dear God, Please let Sonny ski into a tree. Amen.
April 22nd, 2009 at 6:01 am
Snogger wins! My fav so far.
April 22nd, 2009 at 7:28 am
Sonny: That’s why we’re married.
Cher: I didn’t scream for help loud enough when he raped me.
April 22nd, 2009 at 1:46 pm
Sonny: I can has fwee cheezburger wif Bible?
Cher: I can has fwee cheezburger wif Bible?
April 22nd, 2009 at 8:20 pm
Sonny: Does this picture make my mustache look fat?
Cher: Get your hand off my ass.
April 23rd, 2009 at 7:51 am
Sonny: They made it sound easy enough but I’m really having a hard time reading here.
Cher: You’re looking the wrong way, that’s a camera. The Bible is in the high chair with the moustache.
April 23rd, 2009 at 5:57 pm
With her divine power granted to her through the reading of The Bible Cher is able to transform herself — shape shift, if you will. She becomes a tree.
CHER: (opening her branches) “I got you babe”
SONNY: (skiing down the mountain) “I got you babe.”
BLAMMM!!!!!!!!
The moral of that story is — don’t be Sonny Bono.