Using it isn’t Hell, Just Purgatory

Windows Vista sucks.

There’s a new blog called Holy Kidding Me that looks for absurd questions posted around the web. You’d think it would be funny, but it is only sporadically so. I won’t be reading any more of it. However, I did find one funny question.

It’s from somebody calling herself Yellow Egg Carton. If you check her profile at Yahoo Answers, you’ll see that she posts retarded questions in the religion forum. I’ve come to the conclusion that she is just a Poe(ser), who enjoys asking stupid questions to see what kind of stupid answers she can get from the faithful. Most of the answers are pretty lame or predictable, so I won’t bother you with them. I like some of her questions, though:

  • How come I never see Jesus at Churches fried chicken?
  • I want to microevolutionate an elephant with a short nose and call him Stumpy.
  • Are eggs perfectly designed for eating? When I try to peel one like the perfectly designed banana, it is messy.
  • Why is okay to blather about how God saved everybody when nobody dies but not okay to point out when he doesn’t?
  • Has The Norris ever round house kicked anyone with his 3rd leg?
  • Does St. Anthony ever get a headache from listening to all the people beg him to help them find stuff?
  • Jesus is everywhere but is he inside Windows Vista?

That last one has a good answer from somebody:

Well, let us look at the qualities of Vista.

1. Bright & Shiny on the outside, but cold and dark inside.

2. All sorts of creepy crawlies inside.

3. Capable of bringing down all bright and sunny things you have placed or tried to place of your computer.

4. Even though corrupted, it charges a more than premium price to get it.

5. The greater the fee, the worse it gets.

6. It also charges for corrections that should have been made before it was released.

7. 2Corinthians 11:14 explains that it is Satan who keeps transforming himself to appear as an angel of light.

So I submit it is not Jesus but Satan who might be in Vista.

17 Responses to “Using it isn’t Hell, Just Purgatory”

  1. Parrotlover77 Says:

    I never understood the knee-jerk hatred of Vista. I mean there’s always the general hatred of The Big Evil Microsoft (TM), and I get that will always be there. But the “XP is better than Vista” meme, I never got. Everybody at the company I work for, when I upgrade them to Vista, they are like ZOMG this is The Awesome — even the managers, who are normally ludites. (Note: the same reaction cannot be said for Office and it’s “ribbon” interface. I love it, but it’s hit-or-miss here at work for most.)

    The only conclusion I can draw is that people really — I mean really — hate change after something is well-established. Apple had similar backlash when they moved from their classic OS to OS X. Despite OS X being clear superior in almost any facet you can think of, it was resisted initially by the established user base because it was change.

    Sort of like how religion is. It’s an old comfortable easy chair. You know the new easy chair at the store is more comfortable, but you just aren’t used to it so you proclaim loudly and fervishly that it is inferior to your old comfortable friend, and moreso, they just don’t make ’em like they used to.

  2. Jeff Eyges Says:

    Is there anyone on Yahoo Answers, especially in the religion section, who doesn’t post retarded questions or answers?

    I never thought Vista was so bad, either, but you can’t talk to people about it. My sister wants a new notebook, but she’s waiting for Windows 7 to come out, ’cause Vista is “Teh Evil.” I’ve tried to tell her that all the problems have been addressed; she comes back with a story about “someone she knows” who had serious issues… . I’m just leaving it alone.

  3. Parrotlover77 Says:

    Most of the problem weren’t even problems. They were just bad assumptions. Quite a few people upgraded and older systems, frankly, can’t run Vista well unless you disable a lot of superfluous services, like the advanced search indexer. That doesn’t change with 7, but 7 makes better performance decisions. It’s also performance tweaked under the hood, but so was Vista. However, since Vista’s feature set grew so much, it wasn’t as noticible.

    Anyway, you bring up a good point, Jeff. The “someone she knows” excuse is the same excuse fundies use when they say “but my priest told me…” The person in question is trusting a non-expert over an expert.

  4. ericsan Says:

    Jeff, tell your sister to get a Mac :p

  5. Jeff Eyges Says:

    Yeah, I know. There were problems, though, PL.
    A year and a half ago, I ordered a Dell notebook for a friend, not long after they began shipping with Vista. I included built-in Bluetooth, along with a Bluetooth keyboard and mouse. Couldn’t get the damn thing to work. I spoke to multiple people at Dell; finally got to a tech supervisor who was aware of the problem. Turned out the Bluetooth stacks in Vista weren’t operational yet – yet they were selling Bluetooth as an add-on! He had to return the mouse/keyboard set and exchange it for an RF set; he now has a USB adapter jutting out from the side. He didn’t much care; I was annoyed.

    Oh, another thing comes to mind – same system. I also got him an HP AIO, a Photosmart machine with built-in WiFi, the first to include wireless scanning. I’d been using the same model for a couple of years with no problem, but his kept getting hung up when he tried to scan. Called HP, Dell – no one knew what to do. HP kept taking control of the system, deleting, reinstalling, moving things around – nothing worked. I finally went into the HP forums (which I should have done in the first place, b/c most tech support today is frakking useless, which is why I refuse to pay for it), and it turned out it was a timing issue cause by the cue (not queue) service. I turned it off; he hasn’t had the problem since. The solution had been discovered by their own customers, and had been in their forums for months!

    By contrast, about a year ago, I bought a couple of machines for friends, a couple who are not technically literate, and they haven’t had a problem.

  6. Jeff Eyges Says:


    She can’t deal with change. Also, I am not a Mac fan, and never have been. Okay, it’s a little prettier than Windows, but frankly, I find it counter-intuitive. And, if something goes wrong in Windows, or there’s some function you need that wasn’t included, there are free add-ons, utilities, work-arounds. Ultimately, if you need to, you can use the Command processor, go down into the basement, as it were, and fix it (harder to do than it used to be, but still doable). In the Mac OS, if something goes wrong (and it happens more often than they want you to believe), the options are far more limited.

    There’s also the matter of it costing about a thousand dollars more! I can’t justify it.

  7. Parrotlover77 Says:

    Jeff – I’m a bit skeptical about Dell support’s claim in that case as I was using bluetooth almost right out of the box. There have been many hotfixes, some might have affected bluetooth for certain devices/drivers (which may have directly affected your system), but the bluetooth stack was implemented out of the box. A bug in the OS is different from an unfinished implementation. Oh, there were bugs, no doubt, but many of the issues were as a result of lazy OEMs rushing drivers to market, instead of taking advantage of the fricking 4 year beta cycle to start working on them.

    I agree there were issues in the beginning, both MS and OEM’s faults, but I still stand by the assertion that those hatin’ on Vista still to this day are exhibiting similar behavior to fundies resistant to change.

    New scientific discovery that further proves evolution? New hotfix that stabalizes the OS further? Those in the “anti” camp don’t care. They took a look at what they wanted to see at the beginning, made up their mind, and now refuse to change it, no matter what.

    (I always like to drag these off-topic posts back on-topic in some way, because Ron deserves it!)

  8. Ron Britton Says:

    (I always like to drag these off-topic posts back on-topic in some way, because Ron deserves it!)

    …and because ParrotLover recently wrote:

    Wait, I thought I was on Bay of Fundie, but I must have mistakenly clicked on a tech support blog.

  9. Ron Britton Says:


    I agree with you that once a meme gets started, it often lives forever, even in the face of contradicting evidence. I would guess that confirmation bias is one of the big reasons. Once people get it in their head that something is true, and if that belief gives them comfort, then any evidence that can be twisted to support that belief will keep it alive.

  10. Jeff Eyges Says:

    PL, you may well be right. That’s the way it was explained to me at the time, but, as I say, the quality of tech support these days… (And Dell used to have some of the best support in the business. Shame.)

    if that belief gives them comfort

    Yep. That’s the key. I’d just throw that up to Kevin, if he darkens your door again. He doesn’t really give a crap about “evidence” (and who even knows what he means when he uses the word). His only motivation is to continue to believe. This is why they hate us with such a fury; we chisel away at the foundation of their belief system. We endanger their warm and fuzzy – which I’d be loathe to do, b/c life is difficult enough, but they’re such selfish, contemptible pieces of crap. “Billions of people burn for all of eternity, but I get to nestle snug in the arms of Baby Jesus? What a deal!”

    Hate ’em. The worst people in the world. Worst people in the history of the world.

  11. Troy Says:

    My big problem with Vista is that it doesn’t work with a lot of my devices (cameras and such) and some software as well. The laptop I bought last year I purchased with an XP (so called) downgrade license (extra $100!) My 2 cents: Microsoft should continue to allow people to get the OS they want and not pay any extra.

  12. Parrotlover77 Says:

    Okay, hopefully my last tech post. You got taken for a ride paying extra for XP. MS does not set those prices. XP and Vista are priced the same (roughly) with Vista actually generally being more expensive unless your Vista option was just Home Basic (which is cheaper than XP Home). Not sure how old your devices are, but Vista (x64 edition, no less) supports my digital camera from 2001 right out of the box. If only more people had access to good tech support, a lot of money could be saved…

    Jeff – not so sure about “worst in history.” I mean, really, there have been some pretty fricking evil (by our standards) cultures and religions. But I get your point and your frustration.

  13. Jeff Eyges Says:

    Eternal damnation. That’s all I have to say. I never pull a Godwin – but I make an exception for them. They’re worse than the Nazis – and I say that as a Jew. The Nazis merely wanted to kill us. These people fantasize about hanging out on a mezzanine in heaven, swilling beers with Jesus and W, peering down into the depths of hell watching billions of their fellow human beings being tortured unimaginably for all of eternity. They actually look forward to it; they believe it’ll be the large part of their heavenly reward. And there are millions of them. This is why I have no hope left for humanity.

    They are the worst people in the history of the world – period.

  14. Parrotlover77 Says:

    Yea, I mean, I see your point, but still respectfully disagree. I mean, the whole eternal damnation thing exists in one form or another in most religions. What I mean is, there is punishment for not buying into whatever they are selling. Christianity just happens to be the big thing right now. Even in relatively peaceful religions, like Buddhism, if you don’t reach enlightenment or whatever, you’ll keep reincarnating forever, which, to them, is punishment. It’s not a lake of fire torture thing, but it’s still punishment for not buying what they are selling.

    Regarding the Godwin… Personally, I’d rather not be killed and have them fantasize about my burning in hell. Because then I’m like… alive and stuff. But that’s just me!

  15. Jeff Eyges Says:

    Other religions don’t have it though, PL. Only Islam, and it wasn’t monolithic, and they never subscribed to a doctrine of salvific exclusivism, in any case. Islamic fundamentalism is an anomaly, whereas today’s Christian fundies believe what most Christians have believed for most of the past 2,000 years.

    Buddhists believe that everyone will reach enlightenment eventually. Hindu non-dualists believe that ultimately, the soul is reunited with God. It’s murky in Judaism – we don’t focus on it much – but most rabbinic authorities didn’t believe in eternal damnation, and Jewish mystics had ideas very similar to those of the Indians. Even Zoroastrianism, from which duality and the concepts of heaven and hell are thought to derive, in its original form promoted the idea of universal reconciliation.

    Christianity, by contrast, produced the doctrine of predestination – that God created the vast majority of human beings for no other purpose than to torture them eternally as a testament to his sovereignty or glory (concepts with which they have always been absolutely obsessed) or whatever. In any case, it apparently gives him a cosmic boner – but it doesn’t make him a bad guy.

    The most depraved form of collective psychosis ever.

  16. Jeff Eyges Says:

    Oh – Buddhists do have hells, but they aren’t eternal. They (especially the Tibetans) do, however, describe them in ways that would make a Christian or Islamic fundie blanch – but it was never about “not buying what they’re selling”.

  17. Leareth Says:

    Thank you for finally telling me what Poe is short for in atheist commenting circles. As a memeber of I’ve seen it used a lot but no one ever told me what it is. thanks again!