America’s Most Dangerous Export: Fundies

Baptist Press reminds us to hate locally and think globally, in their article Rankin urges 43 new missionaries to ‘look, love & live’ for Christ:

While walking in a small town in Thailand years ago, Richard Blount spotted some Buddhists entering a temple and sensed his first heart-tug for missions.

“I witnessed several Thais … bowing down, lighting incense and praying to a big, gold Buddha,” he recalled. “I thought how fruitless, these people seeking hope in an idol. It was then that God began to burden my heart for the Thai people.”

Buddhism is one of the most peaceful religions on Earth, yet these fundies somehow think it’s their right to take that away from these people and teach them the ways of one of the world’s most violent religions?

Blount and his wife Linda were two of 43 new Southern Baptist missionaries appointed Jan. 31 at Immanuel Baptist Church in Highland, Calif.

Forty-three just from one church?! The planet is doomed!

Rob Zinn, senior pastor at the church, thanked all the missionaries for following God’s call to the mission field.

“Trust me when I say that the Kingdom of God is grateful for your obedience,“ he said. [emphasis added]

Now this is getting sick. God is the ultimate top, and the missionaries are all bottoms!

“Yet, there is one thing [you] all have in common,” he said. “Someone touched your life with the witness about Jesus Christ

Apparently they were touched by God’s whip, too. Now the dominatrix behavior of the nuns in Catholic schools makes more sense!

One missionary, born a Hindu in Bangladesh, shared during the service how another missionary impacted his life when he had no other way of hearing the Gospel.

Did he impact it with a switch or a cat-o-nine-tails?

“From that day I became a follower of Jesus,” he said. “Afterward, God used [my wife and me] to share and lead many people to Christ in Bangladesh as well [as] in the United States.”

I thought S&M was a form of safe sex. Apparently it can lead to reproduction. It makes more missionaries!

The couple now plans to share the Good News with people in South Asia.

I wish these pinheads would stop using the phrase “good news”. News is something that happened recently. The Jesus fiction is 2000 years old. That’s only “recent” on the geological time scale of billions of years. Oh wait, they don’t believe in billions of years! Well, I guess their story isn’t “news” by their own definition!

More than 17,000 South Koreans attended a missions event to learn how they can impact global evangelism.

NOOO!! Leave Korea to the Moonies! They’re batshit crazy, but at least they don’t start wars!

Jesus also commanded His followers to love, Rankin said.

[…] Christ quickly added that they also should love their neighbor as they love themselves.

You can love your neighbor. You just can’t love your neighbor’s wife. I read that on a stone tablet somewhere.

Believers also must live out their faith in Christ wherever they go, Rankin said. Jesus taught His disciples to embrace a new lifestyle.

Oh, now we’re back to the kinky stuff! I didn’t know Jesus was a member of “the lifestyle”!

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