Asstroboy

February 7, 2010

Caption by Eightfold

(Caption by Eightfold)

I bet you guys thought I forgot about this! Way back in August, I posted this genuine bona-fide Astroboy comic book scene and asked if anybody could come up with some good captions. I was expecting to get back to it a couple of weeks later. What I didn’t count on was having to live in a hotel for nine weeks, and then getting hammered by other priorities.

But Astroboy has returned, and he has the best of your proposed captions to show for it!

If you think of any additional captions, go ahead and leave them in the comments. If I get any especially funny ones, I’ll make some more cartoons.

Caption by Brian

(Caption by Brian)

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Caption by Robert Madewell

(Caption by Robert Madewell)

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Caption by Brian

(Caption by Brian)

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Caption by Warren

(Caption by Warren)

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Caption by 4ndyman

(Caption by 4ndyman)

Mount Fundie

February 2, 2010

Fundie cartoon. They don't get any funnier than this!

Hysterical fundie cartoon by Reverend Fun
(Copyright Gospel Communications International, Inc – www.reverendfun.com)

One of Northern California’s more prominent peaks is Mount Diablo. The mountain has been called that since the early 1800s. “Diablo” is the Spanish word for “devil”. You can probably anticipate where this story is going.

Yup! That’s right! A fundie wants to rename it! According to the Contra Costa Times, a God-botherer who is scared of his own shadow has been trying to rename the mountain since 2005. He has just recently filed another request:

[Arthur] Mijares, a devout Christian, says he believes the word “Diablo” — Spanish for “devil” — is “derogatory and profane”

But wait! There’s more! Not only is he offended, but he claims that the current name violates government policy on naming geological features:

Mijares argued that the devil, or “diablo,” was a “living person” so that name should also be prohibited.

So what name does this über-conservative want applied to the peak?

Mount Reagan.

Carnival of the Godless #134

February 1, 2010

Carnival of the Godless

The latest Carnival of the Godless is godlessly carnivaling at Right to Think. There’s a bunch of stuff over there. I really liked “Against the Gods: Arguments Against God’s Existence” by Ken at Arizona Atheist. It’s a long, thoughtful argument that refutes many of the arguments for God’s existence. Check it out.

I also have to put in a strong recommendation for “The Republican Master Plan” at Polymath From Portsmouth. You’ll want to read it.

129th Skeptics’ Circle: How the Discovery Channel has Fallen

January 28, 2010

Dripping faucet at a 2000th of a second.

(Super-awesome photograph by Ron Britton)

I haven’t been trying to neglect the blog lately. I was hoping to cut back to two or three articles per week, not two or three weeks per article. It’s amazing how merely re-prioritizing the blog from #1 hobby to #2 hobby has robbed it of so much attention. The photography class I’m taking ends in March, so this isn’t permanent.

The latest edition of the Skeptics’ Circle has just arrived at The SkeptVet Blog. It’s definitely a good one. It’s jammed full of great articles. You need to go check it out.

The best article of the bunch is “Discovery Channel: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly” by Akusai at Action Skeptics. I gave up my cable TV almost two years ago, so I still have favorable memories of the Discovery Channel. This was the home of Mythbusters, after all. Sure, many of the Discovery Channel’s shows had succumbed to the Least Common Denominator, but at least they didn’t have any of those horrible ghost-hunting shows. Then lately I started hearing about some horrid dreck called Ghost Lab. And it’s on the Discovery Channel! How depressing.

Anyway, Akusai fills us in on what little is still good on the Discovery Channel. He lists Mythbusters first, but even that is apparently sliding. Say it isn’t so!

He also mentions a show I’ve never heard of: Time Warp. Apparently the program is full of all sorts of amazing footage of ordinary things photographed in high-speed video. That sounds like a great show. In fact, I was experimenting with high-speed photography myself last Sunday (See result above. That was shot at 1/2000th of a second.).

Akusai then goes on to tell us about the Bad and the Ugly on the Discovery Channel. Some of it sounds very ugly. If you’re as disgusted as I am with the dumbing-down of science television, you should go read “Discovery Channel: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly”. After that, check out the remainder of the Skeptics’ Circle.

Darwin Was Wrong, Part 9: Fossil Fraud

January 20, 2010

Missing lynx

[Here is the next installment of my experience at the Darwin Was Wrong lie-fest put on by Logos Research Associates. You can start from the beginning of this story in Part 1, or you can jump to the first speaker in Part 4. You can also watch the videos of this conference at the Logos website (not recommended for the sane).]

The first talk of the morning was given by Marcus Ross, and it was titled “Darwin Was Wrong about the Fossil Record”. Here is how Logos describes this talk:

In Origin, Darwin admitted that the fossil evidence contradicted his theory, but he hoped future discoveries would come to his rescue. Now, 150 years later, the problem of missing intermediates is even more glaring.

Marcus Ross

Who is this guy? It turns out we’ve met him before. This is the guy who made headlines in 2007 for lying in order to get a PhD (See brief BoF article here. See longer, better Larry Moran article here.).

Ross is a young-Earth creationist. He believes the Earth is 6000 to 10,000 years old, yet he wrote his PhD thesis as if he actually understood the true age of the Earth (4.5 billion years).

He does not understand geology at all. If he did, he would know the true age of the Earth. Therefore, he has failed geology and did not deserve the degree. University of Rhode Island was too cowardly to stand up for academic integrity and gave him the degree so he’d go away quietly and not make trouble. They have devalued their graduate program, and they have disrespected everybody who has ever earned a degree there.

University of Rhode Island is an academic whore.

University of Rhode Island

URI evaluates Ross’ application

Marcus Ross is an academic fraud. And a john. He paid URI money for the empty pleasure of a cheap degree, and he infected URI with the venereal disease of creationism.

Marcus Ross goes back to school

Now that we know who we’re dealing with, let’s look at what he had to say.

He told us that he would cover three main topics:

  1. The use of fossils in geology
  2. Looking back: Darwin’s views on the fossil record
  3. Our present understanding

The Use Of Fossils In Geology

He said fossils are used for four purposes:

  • Organismal reconstruction
  • Environmental reconstruction
  • Correlation/Biostratigraphy
  • Reconstruction of evolutionary lineages

Prior to Origin of Species, fossils had only been used for the first three functions. Once Origin appeared, all the God-hating atheists out there realized they could put together a fake natural history based on the fossils, thereby “proving” that God doesn’t exist.

He didn’t phrase it the way I’ve described it, but it’s clear that this is what he means. He told us how all of the strata containing all of these fossils were laid down during Noah’s Flood. All these freakish-looking prehistoric critters were just wandering around the world minding their own business, and the next thing you know — FLUSH! — a giant flood wipes them all out. Apparently velociraptors, triceratops, and tyrannosaurs were not on Noah’s list of “clean animals” or on his list of “everything else”.

According to Ross and some of the other speakers at this event, atheistic evilutionists just draw lines connecting similar-looking fossils and claim that X must have evolved into Y, because they look similar, and X was in a lower strata than Y. Yet according to Ross and friends, all of these critters existed in that brief 2000-year pre-flood period.

Maybe he explained it and I missed it, but I don’t understand how Ross rationalizes these two issues:

  1. Why are certain critters only associated with certain strata? This is true no matter where in the world they are found. Ross freely admitted these associations.
  2. Why are the simpler critters (what we would call less evolved or an earlier species in a given evolutionary line) always in strata below the more complex critters (what we would call a later species in the same evolutionary line)?

Steve Austin presented diagrams purporting to show how dozens of layers (totaling hundreds of feet) of the Grand Canyon were deposited in a few hours. If everybody is intermingling and walking around at the same time, how do they sort out so nicely when the Flood comes?

He did show a diagram showing some of the geological eras:

  • Cenozoic
  • Mesozoic
  • Paleozoic
  • Proterozoic

He claims those middle two (Mesozoic and Paleozoic) happened during the Flood. My questions above would apply to those eras. There aren’t many fossils from the Proterozoic, but what about the gobs of fossils from the Cenozoic? If all of that is post-Flood, where did they come from? According to Ross’ timeline, all of those fossils would have to be from the last 4000 years. So nobody noticed the giraffe camels or bone-crushing dogs or elephant-sized ground sloths wandering around? Nobody thought they were the slightest bit strange and bothered to write about them?

Looking Back: Darwin’s Views On The Fossil Record

The next main point of his talk was what Darwin said about fossils. Darwin was concerned about the fossil record, so he devoted two chapters in Origin to it.

Ross then did some Darwin quote-mining.

We need a Godwin’s Law for Darwin quote-mining. Godwin’s Law itself is:

As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches 1.

However, the corollary is more appropriate here. Wikipedia describes it:

[T]here is a tradition in many newsgroups and other Internet discussion forums that once such a comparison is made, the thread is finished and whoever mentioned the Nazis has automatically “lost” whatever debate was in progress.

Our new Creatard’s Law could be:

Any creationist quote-mining Darwin has automatically lost the argument.

Our Present Understanding

This was Ross’ final topic of his presentation. He gloated about gaps in the fossil record. Then he started talking about “baramins” and all of the different horse “kinds”. He said that all of the modern horse variants (zebra, donkey, quagga, zedonk, zorse, etc.) descended from that first created “kind” that Noah had on the Ark.

Here’s a question for all of the creationists out there. You people claim there are no transitional fossils. You people claim that any fossil that looks transitional is actually just a diseased specimen of a known species.

So how do you know that all of these different horse kinds descended from Noah’s horse? By your own definition, you have no transitional fossils to support your claim.

The only “horse kind” creationists can produce is the ass.

Ben Stein

Darwin Was Wrong, Part 8: Saturday Morning

January 18, 2010

Cats don't pray to Dog.

[And now, exactly one month since the last episode, here is the next installment of my experience at the Darwin Was Wrong lie-fest put on by Logos Research Associates. I’m writing this at 1:30 AM, so I’ll only cover the praying and singing that preceded the first talk of the day. Tonight, I hope to write up a description of the talk itself.

If you’ve come in late, you can start from the beginning of this story in Part 1, or you can jump to the first speaker in Part 4. You can also watch the videos of this conference at the Logos website (not recommended for the sane).]

I arrived at the church just five minutes late, but they’ve already started the program! Some guy was on stage saying something. Wait! Don’t start praying without me! I hurried to my seat. Made it! You can start praying now.

And they did.

After the prayer, the guy talked about how this was an historic event. Really? That you’ve got a church full of people praying and singing about Jesus and denying evolution?

Pathetic? Yes. Historic? No.

I looked around the church. It was sparsely attended this morning. Only about 25% of the seats were filled. Even the faithful don’t want to be at church at 8:30 on a Saturday morning.

The preacher guy left the stage. Hallelujah! The Jesus singers came out. Oh, crap! They started by singing “I’ll Fly Away”. That’s actually a good song, when it’s done right. They didn’t do it right.

Next, they asked everybody to stand for the performance of “Amazing Grace”. What is it with religious people and that song? I took this opportunity to run to the restroom. I got inside, and…

Oh, lord! They pipe the audio from the stage into the restroom! I can’t even get away from it in here! I discovered, however, that it acts as an excellent stimulant. Who needs Ex Lax?

By the time I got back to my seat, they were on to the next song. I scanned the auditorium and noticed some small kids sitting a few rows away. They were maybe 5 or 6 years old. Most of the lies that would be said that day would go over their heads. The lifetime of indoctrination won’t.

I looked at the video screens and noticed that they put the words to the song up there, so the congregation can sing along. Who needs hymn books? This is the 21st Century. We’ve got Jesus karaoke! The only thing missing is a bunch of drunk Japanese businessmen. Our congregation has them beat. We’re drunk on the Lord! (And not in a Catholic booze-and-crackers way.)

Did I just say “our congregation”? Oh no! The assimilation has begun! By the end of the day, I’ll be completely absorbed!

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As I said above, “I’ll Fly Away” is a good song when it is done right. Behold the right doing:

Carnival of the Godless #133

January 17, 2010

Intelligent Design is creationism

The latest Carnival of the Godless has arrived. You can find it over at Null Session. There are several good articles. I recommend starting with “The Intelligent Design Falsifiability Myth?” by Naon Tiotami at Homologous Legs.

Creationists. I hate those guys.

Fight the Commies—Go to Church!

January 14, 2010

[I’m having trouble finding the time to continue Darwin Was Wrong. Hopefully this weekend! In the meantime, here is a quickie I wrote a couple of months ago and then forgot to run.]

Kill a commie, then go to church!

Click image to slightly embiggen

I found the above image on Miss Retro Modern’s Flickr stream. The ad above comes from Canada, which just proves that the U.S. doesn’t have a monopoly on Christian fear-mongering. The ad was published in 1955, the glory days of anti-communism, anti-atheism, and the Cold War.

This ad is so scary. The church is almost empty! The commies will win for sure! We’re endangering our Way Of Life by cheating God out of his weekly fix.

I bet you materialistic atheists out there didn’t know you were enslaving six out of every twenty people living!

(Why didn’t they just say three out of ten? Can’t they find the least common denominator? Maybe they should spend less time in church and more time in school.)